Planet of the Arts Vol. 5 no. 1 Fall 1989

Feet are dragging heavily, slow, the moon’s rising
behind me, my shadow is leading, my only company,
thirteen miles to count, I’m burning up, no |, cold,
ecstatic, the world is etched, alone there are ghosts
following, not alone, the stones | walk on are electric
depressed, they left me behind, history I’m trying to
catch, the gold rush has been over for a long time, the
dead still call to me, intimations of their passions,
relics of their labour, silhouetted against the sky,
molehills build on mountains of life, | am sick, feel it
coursing through, thirsty can’t drink the water from the
creek, running thick with ancient, excrement offal from
the, machines constantly turning the earth upon itself,
men dreaming, started yesterday, shovel getting
heavy, muscles unwilling to carry me up the
incline,stasis sets in, fall to my bed, | feel, in my
sickness, Walking onwards, town only so far away,
theory of diminishing returns, mere minutes by car,
hours by foot, sourdoughs walked thousands of miles,
i can walk a few, must walk, trouble, everything is
relative, Bonanza creek, should be renamed, broken
men, dead men, many left their loved ones to venture
to the promise, riches glory, found, die alone from
some ridiculous virus, coughing and shaking away
their life, watching it piss away as a yellow stream
dogs sniffing at their shit then digging up their graves,
lucky if the bones remained, ground is frozen, stack
the bodies and wait for spring, even so only four feet
down and ice again, dead men aren't worth more the
four feet of shovelling, | am dirty, stink, unmentionable
dreams, | walk, how many miles, who were the
women, followed the scum, adventurers, greed, me,
down the Yukon river, loose, cheap, friendly, strong,
where from, all over the world, a thousand lives gone
in one winter, starvation, fucking in the frozen north a
week’s pay-cheque gone so you can be a man, all
those men one woman, mauled by hungry hands,
lonely touch, stone hearts, some build fortunes most
sold their rights so they could eat for another winter,
there must have been some men that were too ugly,
Stinking stupid that even the whores did not touch,
what kind of soul rotted beneath the putrid exterior,
what noble intent had long been eradicated, brooding,
hating, killing, a body found on the river, the endless
winter nights, a dance of phantoms, the sky is close in

the north, the moon one can touch, almost, stars a
flurry of a welder’s torch brightness, | am walking, still,
stones go crunch, my shoelace has come untied, if | _
stop to do them up I'll fall over, keep going, hope won't
trip on loose ends, lost ends, so many, woman | love
so far away, | feel the coldness yet, not far enough,
ultimate freedom, no ties, no honours, nothing, | walk,
my mind trips, falling, like Alice in the hole, stupid, feel
the Klondike brings back what it owns, she is walking
beside me, softly out of focus, a shimmer in my eye, a
yearning in my, remember the day in winter, some-

where hot, felt like this, across the table into your, your
smile, i dreamt, right now, the moon is getting higher
in the sky, still, keep walking, legs shaking, deeper
breaths, not too deep, where are you now, past,
present, an illusion dream open my eyes, motes of
light dancing, laugh out loud, no one to hear so what,
what | would give to feel your body, those poor miners
had no one, | would gladly, trade, nothing left, is a
man only worth as much as he can spend, time,
attention, money, ignorance, | hope, | walk, there was
a bear last night in the vicinity, this far just to get eaten
by a bear, large carnivore, wrecked a cabin, destroy
my little hovel of a body, the summer started with such
promise, fuck it, she smells like an animal, those first
few days and all that gold we found in the pan, a fond
farewell with a glint in your eye the road that you
paved turns into the way of the dead, thin socks don't
protect your feet, shoelace is getting longer, on the hill
is a house, the lights are out is there anyone home, do
| have one, not here, there is someone waiting in the
future, do cowboys ever cry not that I’ve seen in the
movies they cry in song, | cry, now for the cowboy the
soldier the miner myself, just a sick man, walking with
wet eyes alone in the dark, fear, lonely, fear of being
alone in the universe stretching around towards, the
house on the hill, that is dark, stop shaking, the air is
damp | put my hand to my hair it is getting longer now,
my forehead is wet, if only you could see me now,
pathetic as | am, lost in a dream having dreams that
are lost, goddamn just once one little thing could go

the way | see some do, somewhere there is a, joke the

gods make do not seem funny right now, Olympus is
just another skid row now, put one foot in front of the
other, the nails from the heel are digging into my foot,
a boot tattoo singing on my nerves, socks decaying at
an alarming rate from days of sweating and immersion
in the creek, skin peeling off the tips of my fingers,
shovel so heavy, lift,drop,

push. lift, shove, pull,yank,search,walk, | must be
gaining distance along here there must be gold of

ears, first stages of putrefaction when there was a
happy little boy | remember, always been walking
through the dark in a delirium one shoelace untied the
moon pulling me as it pulls her a synchronization not
anymore when we parted the moon left her behind
bleeding to some other god, | want ravenously, the
grizzly doesn’t scare me that it would be an honour,
dubious, bear spits out man, it kills greenery in odd
places, kill me not on your life ha ha, two layers of
down insulate my body, the air finds a weakness, my

“organs shrink, can’t , can, walk, no, Japanese in the

humid jungle forcing dehydration, Moses in the desert,
whip myself along, stop just for a moment, a warm bed

| awaits in which lies a body that yearns, sadly platonic,

| continue, can’t let go, up ahead is a junction there
are deep dips beside the road should foot be mis-
placed, fall, break; keep eyes straight open moving
scanning, keep it up, chin, pecker, ha, walk, little
things | miss, tilt of smiles, faces created in paroxysm
of parodic splendour in waves when lips curl and your
fist rises to an idol, when the riffles are fixed we'll
catch the gold we’re missing for want of anything
better water cascades down the flue and the gold will
like it So much it stays, getting wet all the time, clinging
as the wind blows and then the sun comes out and

‘you Start to fry like some fucking Mexican taco but the

air is clean and the noise from monster machines is
coming across the valley, putting hills where gods in-
tended a valley and the landscape changes and you
don’t give a flying fuck because tonight you’re going to

Waliking Moon

course it’s here just find it, giant floating factories

- crammed into the narrow creek huge dredges eating

out the vessel within which they float, holes filling with
water, float on, dig, channel of gold nuggets as large
as your head, white channel gravel the lode, mother,
thanks for small mercies even the dirtiest dumbest
miner once had a mother was child that was needed

. hot like this dying in a land where, energy gets dissi-

pated in the vastness time is the one thing you have,
coldness cracks the bones mind at sixty below there
are few things, barrens caribou shot ‘til there was no
more and they starved eating bark drinking pine
needle tea, grown men reduced, to a child, the whores
so many men, they have their work, town gets built up
and morality, fuck they did, the town isn’t what it used
to be, fancy little hotels that offer nothing, gambling,
empty questions making livings off busloads of tourists
that sometimes speak English coming to relive that
romantic notion of the fucking gold rush they expect to
find a dream and that is what they get from the com-
fort of air conditioned, not reality, not even the old
dream, sourdoughs had a dream, stupid little souls,
bless their stupid selves, fetid brain aching so what
are the chances, partners in this crime bribe the son
with convenience so that they can drink ‘ill Sam
comes home and wonders why demands fall on deaf

town to get drunk and laid and you're going to be gone
at the end of the summer and the land is moving I’m
standing still as the mountains rise and fall beside me
riding as a passenger in my body which weighs thirty
pounds less, I’m not the man | used to be ha and | can
walk to the ends of the earth because this, no sleep
for a million years long enough for you when | dream
of rest asking ghosts to help me lift my feet which feel
like stumps left raw and bleeding from some
lumberjack’s lunatic idea of a joke coming on as
brushes of air honouring the dead by wondering how
many spirit hands would it take and the tundra is not
endless moss and mastodon mixed in with, a wimpy
traveller kissing the bones of the ancestors that get
washed out of the frozen muck and crunch, eating up
the road, boots are having a feast in which my pathos
stricken mind is gluttonously full wallowing in this
romantic gesture knowing that no matter how far there
is an end to finish the journey into another memory of
old acquaintances while sitting in an easy chair fat and
old and | wish to God that | could be back walking.

Micheal Graf

Planet of the Arts Vol. 5 no. 1 Fall 1989

eorerorene

Feet are dragging heavily, slow, the moon's rising
behind me, my shadow is leading, my only company,
thirteen miles to count, I'm burning up, no |, cold,
ecstatic, the world is etched, alone there are ghosts
following, not alone, the stones | walk on are electric.
depressed, they left me behind, history I'm trying to
catch, the gold rush has been over for a long time, the
dead still call 1 me, intimations of their passions,
relics of their labour, silhouetted against the sky,
‘molehills build on mountains of lfe, | am sick, feel it
‘coursing through, thirsty can't drink the water from the
‘creek, running thick with ancient, excrement offal from
the, machines constantly turing the earth upon itself,
men dreaming, started yesterday, shovel getting
heavy, muscles unwilling to carry me up the

incline, stasis sets in, fall to my bed, I feel, in my
sickness, Walking onwards, town only so far away,
theory of diminishing returns, mere minutes by car,
hours by foot, sourdoughs walked thousands of miles,
ican walk a few, must walk, trouble, everything is
relative, Bonanza creek, should be renamed, broken
men, dead men, many left their loved ones to venture
to the promise, riches glory, found, die alone from
‘some ridiculous virus, coughing and shaking away
their lite, watching it piss away as a yellow stream
dogs sniffing at their shit then digging up their graves,
lucky if the bones remained, ground is frozen, stack
the bodies and wait for spring, even so only four feet
down and ice again, dead men aren't worth more the
four feet of shovelling, | am dirty, stink, unmentionable
reams, | walk, how many miles, who were the
women, followed the scum, adventurers, greed, me,
down the Yukon river, loose, cheap, friendly, strong,
where from, all over the world, a thousand lives gone
in one winter, starvation, fucking in the frozen north a
week's pay-cheque gone so you can be a man, all
those men one woman, mauled by hungry hands,
lonely touch, stone hearts, some build fortunes most
sold their rights so they could eat for another winter,
there must have been some men that were too ugly,
stinking stupid that even the whores did not touch,
what kind of soul rotted beneath the putrid exterior,
what noble intent had long been eradicated, brooding,
hating, kiling, a body found on the river, the endless
winter nights, a dance of phantoms, the sky is close in

the north, the moon one can touch, almost, stars a
flury of a welders torch brightness, | am walking, stil,
stones go crunch, my shoelace has come untied, i
stop to do them up I'lfall over, keep going, hope won't
trip on loose ends, lost ends, so many, woman | love
80 far away, I feel the coldness yet, not far enough,
timate freedom, no ties, no honours, nothing, | walk,
ry mind trips, falling, like Alice in the hole, stupi, feel
the Klondike brings back what it owns, she is walking
beside me, softly out of focus, a shimmer in my eye, a
yearning in my, remember the day in winter, some-

‘where hot, felt ike this, across the table into your, your
smile, i dreamt, right now, the moon is getting higher
in the sky, stil, keep walking, legs shaking, deeper
breaths, not too deep, where are you now, past,
present, an illusion dream open my eyes, motes of
light dancing, laugh out loud, no one to hear so what,
what | would give to feel your body, those poor miners
had no one, | would gladly, trade, nothing left, is a
man only worth as much as he can spend, time,
attention, money, ignorance, | hope, | walk, there was
a bear last night in the vicinity, this far just to get eaten
by a bear, large camivore, wrecked a cabin, destroy
my litle hovel of a body, the summer started with such
promise, fuck it, she smells like an animal, those first
few days and all that gold we found in the pan, a fond
farewell with a glint in your eye the road that you
paved turns into the way of the dead, thin socks don't
protect your feet, shoelace is getting longer, on the hill
js a house, the lights are out is there anyone home, do
have one, not here, there is someone waiting in the
future, do cowboys ever cry not that I've seen in the
movies they cry in song, | cry, now for the cowboy the
soldier the miner myself, just a sick man, walking with
wet eyes alone in the dark, fear, lonely, fear of being
alone in the universe stretching around towards, the
house on the hill, that is dark, stop shaking, the airis
damp | put my hand to my hair itis getting longer now,
my forehead is wet, if only you could see me now,
pathetic as | am, lost in a dream having dreams that
are lost, goddamn just once one litle thing could go
the way I see some do, somewhere there is a, joke the
‘gods make do not seem funny right now, Olympus is
just another skid row now, put one foot in front of the
other, the nails from the heel are digging into my foot,
boot tattoo singing on my nerves, socks decaying at
an alarming rate from days of sweating and immersion
in the creek, skin peeling off the tips of my fingers,
shovel so heavy, lit,drop,

Push, shove, pullyank,search,walk, | must be
‘gaining distance along here there must be gold of

ears, first stages of putrefaction when there was a
happy lttle boy | remember, always been walking
through the dark in a delirium one shoelace untied the
moon pulling me as it pulls her a synchronization not
anymore when we parted the moon left her behind
bleeding to some other god, | want ravenously, the
‘grizzly doesn't scare me that it would be an honour,
dubious, bear spits out man, it kills greenery in odd
places, kill me not on your life ha ha, two layers of
down insulate my body, the air finds a weakness, my
organs shrink, can't, can, walk, no, Japanese in the
humid jungle forcing dehydration, Moses in the desert,
whip myself along, stop just for a moment, a warm bed
awaits in which lies a body that yearns, sadly platonic,

I continue, can't let go, up ahead is a junction there
are deep dips beside the road should foot be mis-
placed, fall, break; keep eyes straight open moving
scanning, keep it up, chin, pecker, ha, walk, litle
things | miss, tit of smiles, faces created in paroxysm.
of parodic splendour in waves when lips curl and your
fist rises to an idol, when the rffles are fixed we'll
Catch the gold we're missing for want of anything
better water cascades down the flue and the gold

like it so much it stays, getting wet all the time, clinging
a the wind blows and then the sun comes out and
you start to fry like some fucking Mexican taco but the
air is clean and the noise from monster machines is
‘coming across the valley, putting hills where gods in-
tended a valley and the landscape changes and you
don't give a flying fuck because tonight you're going to

Walking Moon

Course it's here just find it, giant floating factories
crammed into the narrow creek huge dredges eating
ut the vessel within which they float, holes filing with
water, float on, dig, channel of gold nuggets as large
as your head, white channel gravel the lode, mother,
thanks for small mercies even the dirtiest dumbest
miner once had a mother was child that was needed
‘ot like this dying in a land where, energy gets dissi-
pated in the vastness time is the one thing you have,
coldness cracks the bones mind at sixty below there
are few things, barrens caribou shot ‘tl there was no
more and they starved eating bark drinking pine
needle tea, grown men reduced, to a child, the whores
so many men, they have their work, town gets built up
and morality, fuck they did, the town isn't what it used
to be, fancy little hotels that offer nothing, gambling,
‘empty questions making livings off busloads of tourists
that sometimes speak English coming to relive that
romantic notion of the fucking gold rush they expect to
find a dream and that is what they get from the com-
{ort of air conditioned, not reality, not even the old
dream, sourdoughs had a dream, stupid little souls,
bless their stupid selves, fetid brain aching so what
are the chances, partners in this crime bribe the son
with convenience so that they can drink ‘til Sam
‘comes home and wonders why demands fall on deaf

town to get drunk and laid and you're going to be gone
at the end of the summer and the land is moving I'm
standing stil as the mountains rise and fall beside me
riding as a passenger in my body which weighs thirty
pounds less, I'm not the man | used to be ha and I can
walk to the ends of the earth because this, no sleep
for a million years long enough for you when | dream
of rest asking ghosts to help me lt my feet which feel
like stumps left raw and bleeding from some
lumberjack’s lunatic idea of a joke coming on as
brushes of air honouring the dead by wondering how
many spirit hands would it take and the tundra is not
‘endless moss and mastodon mixed in with, a wimpy
traveller kissing the bones of the ancestors that get
washed out of the frozen muck and crunch, eating up
the road, boots are having a feast in which my pathos
stricken mind is gluttonously full wallowing in this
romantic gesture knowing that no matter how far there
is an end to finish the journey into another memory of
‘01d aoquaintanoes while sitting in an easy chair fat and
‘old and | wish to God that | could be back walking,

Micheal Graf