at the National Autonomous University of Mexico (thanks to a
scholarship awarded to me by BCCIE). For two months I*was sub-
merged in Mexican culture and the Spanish language. By the last few
days in Mexico, I was having political debates about the current state of
Mexican economic
affairs with taxi dri-

@) n May 28, 1995, I left Vancouver to study Spanish in Mexico City

commie EX TRANJERO

to communicate ideas
that went beyond,
“Hello, my name is...and I come from Canada”.

But all that time inbetween I spent struggling! Struggling to memo-
rize new sounds; struggling to overcome the humiliation of saying stupid
things like “Buenos dias” to everyone all day (not knowing that I was
unwittingly greeting everyone with “Good morning!” from dawn to
dusk). No one bothered to correct me. I'd just get little smiles implying
‘stupid gringa’- which I recognized because on more than one occasion |
have spotted American tourists wandering down Cordova Street and
snickered quietly to myself. But I am not American! I felt insulted.

Eventually my language skills improved and things got more compli-
cated. Questions like, “What is Canada like?” kept popping up and I
found myself defensively responding, “It’s not like the United States.”
But when asked how Canada was different than the U.S., | was stumped.
In comparison to Mexico, Canada and the U.S. seem like twins. I was
gradually getting more frustrated by the vagueness of Canadian identity
in contrast to that of Mexico and the U.S. I was also getting really sick
of being referred to as ‘The Canadian Girl’ | felt as though I was wearing
some weird projection device that continually flashed ‘young white rich
foreign Canadian girl student. I wanted more than anything to blast that
identity to bits. 1 wanted to talk to people without the pre-established
identity, without borders, without suspicions.

So I dealt with it the best way I could. On July 15, 1995 at 10:00 AM
in front of the philosophy department at the university, I: (1) wrote on
one arm and on the other STRANGER; (2) Put on walkman with tape of
Spanish lessons; (3) Repeated lessons aloud while speaking an English
commentary, based on my experience of learning Spanish; (4) began
wrapping myself in white, red, green, blue wool.

Of course this action didn’t demolish the identity projection.
Afterwards I became known as ‘The crazy young white rich Canadian
girl student who made a spectacle of herself. At least I had allowed my
frustration to physically manifest itself in a positive way, since I held
constructive conversations with audience members ( mainly Mexican
students) addressing issues of national and gender identity.

Overall, my stay in Mexico City was an adventure, not to mention a
humbling learning experience. If anyone out there is interested in study-
ing in Mexico, talk to Jane Robinson Bond in student services and ask
about the Mexico program.

me

BY TAGNY DUFF

Novemser 1995 / Emny 21]

Aplicacion Para Visa Autonoma

| am applying for an autonomous visa. You think this is impossible porque aqui and there his/her body is

nationality (but in my imagination...)
[I'm a spectacle]

I'm Canada. His/her/our. your body is foreign signifier.

“Staring at his skin and you had to downcast your eyes because it hurts to open your eyes everytime to
that grabs you with a fuck you and your cunt.

[I'm a spectacle]
This/that body is sex like those movies (every movie) which show lots of tit, ass and thigh open wide,

eyes closed. (and I'm not talking erotica).

His body is age and he thought you were younger but to her disappointment your age outdid his in rank,
so that was the end of that. His/her body is the vehicle for intertexuality between national and sexual
identity. Our flesh flashes projection of The Other in big flashing multicoloured lights. FOREIGNER. FOR-
EIGNER ON PLANET EARTH. Don't you know he's a walking mujer extranjero in her own country?

Hey, | realize essentialism is out of fashion in post-modern discourse, but try walking in these shoes

through swinging doors in a salon des hombres. Forty eyes staring at my/your body walking to an unsta-
ble bench, two cocks peeing against a wall, one face looking this way and pointing a finger towards the
door. Yeah, you know when you're not wanted, so you get up again and walk into a small stall 2 feet by
2 feet where the word MUJER sits and through a window someone passes you a broken glass of pulque.

Two singing voices play music mexicana while you drink bitter pulque that tastes like sperm and piss.

Our body is economy, currency, it's the national debt. Red, white and green. RED, WHITE, BLUE, RED,
WHITE. The symbolic order like the new world order, like NAFTA is one big bruise, the political construct
of capitalist union marked on these/those bodies by projection “call us other” cause it's the colonization
of language marked silence.

(silent, silent timid bird)
“and in the dark | could see the two shapes with guns walk up to our seats. Quietly, not breathing | sit
on the bus. They come up to our seats and demand our money. (Dinero! Dinero!) | don't speak their lan-

guage so I'm silent.

Of course | stand behind you protected by your knowledge of voice (language is secondary) [This body
speaks of...] (Didn't you tell me just yesterday about that person who was raped? Didn't, haven't | heard
this story too many times before?)...speaks of potential exploitation in a place where this voice is silent,

and this time you have the power one step over me, even though you are one step under the gun.

Body status in language, in a country, in a continent, on a planet that sees symbolic identity as inherent

truth- no questions asked.
This is my passport. I'm a joven mujer traveling alone. | answer the questions correctly. Soy canadiense,

soy de Canada. Soy estudiante. There is no room for oscillating identity. (My mouth is dry). This is an

application for an autonomous visa- cause | can feel it- cause you can see it. My body is impregnated

x

with surface identity.

at the National Autonomous University of Mexico (thanks to a
scholarship awarded to me by BCCIE). For two months bwas sub-
‘merged in Mexican culture and the Spanish language. By the last few
days in Mexico, | was having political debates about the current state of
Mexican economic
affairs with taxi dri
vers. [was finally able
to communicate ideas
that went beyond,
“Hello, my name is..and I come from Canada’.

But all that time inbetween I spent struggling! Struggling to memo~
rize new sounds; struggling to overcome the humiliation of saying stupid
things like “Buenos dias” to everyone all day (not knowing that I was
unwittingly greeting everyone with “Good morning!” from dawn to
dusk). No one bothered to correct me. I just get lite smiles implying,
‘stupid gringa'- which I recognized because on more than one occasion |
hhave spotted American tourists wandering down Cordova Street and
snickered quietly to myself. But Lam not American! I felt insulted.

Eventually my language skills improved and things got more compli=
cated. Questions like, “What is Canada like?” kept popping up and I
found myself defensively responding, “I's not like the United Stats.”
But when asked how Canada was different than the U.S. 1 was stumped.
In comparison to Mexico, Canada and the U.S. seem like twins. L was
Sradually geting more frustrated by the vagueness of Canadian identity
in contrast to that of Mexico and the US. I was also getting really sick
‘of being referred to as The Canadian Girl | felt as though I was we:
some weird projection device that continually lashed ‘young white rich
foreign Canadian gil student: I wanted more than anything to blast that
identity to bits I wanted to talk to people without the pre-established
‘dentty, without borders, without suspicions

So I dealt with it the best way I could. On July 15, 1995 at 10:00 AM
in front of the philosophy department atthe university I: (1) wrote on
fone arm and on the other STRANGER; (2) Put on walkman with tape of
‘Spanish lessons; (3) Repeated lessons aloud while speaking an English
‘commentary, based on my experience of learning Spanish; (4) began
‘wrapping myself in white, red, green, blue wool

OF course this action didn’t demolish the identity projection,
‘Afterwards became known as The crazy young white rich Canadian
irl student who made a spectacle of herself: At least I had allowed my
frustration to physically manifest itself in a postive way, since I held
constructive conversations with audience members (mainly Mexican
students) addressing issues of national and gender identity.

Overall, my stay in Mexico City was an adventure, not to mention a
‘humbling learning experience. If anyone out there is interested in study-
{ng in Mexico, talk to Jane Robinson Bond in student services and ask
about the Mexico program.

0: ‘May 28, 1995, Left Vancouver to study Spanish in Mexico City

o

x

EXTRANJERO

Novaer 1995. Eany 21

‘Anlcasion Para Visa Autonoma
am apphing for an autonomous is, You think this i imposible porque aqu and there hse Body is
rationality but in my imagination.)

Irma spectactel
Fm Canada Hiserouz your body is frig sinter

“String at his stn and you had to downeast your eyes because it urs to open our eyes everytime to
that rats you with fuck you and your cunt

Irma spectacte]
TWisthat body x he these moves every movie which show lots of it, as and thigh open wide,
ys asd (and im nt taking erotica

is body age and he thought you were younger but to her dsapeiniment your age outdid sin rank,
so that was the end ofthat. Hier body i the vehi forintertenuality between national and soxal
dent. Our flesh flashes projection of The Other in ig fasting multcloured lights. FOREIGNER. FOR-
LELGNER ON PLANET EARTH, Dont you know he's 2 walking mujer extrajero ner own county?

Hey, reaie eens sot of fasion in post-modern dicourse, ut try walling in these shoes
‘through swinging dors ina slon des hombres. Ft ees tring at mylyour body walking to an unsta
tie bench, to cocks pein aghnst wall one face lotng tis way and pointing finger towards the
oo Yeah, you know when yee not wanted, so you getup agin and wakinto 2 smal tal 2 fet by
2 feet where the word MUJER sits and trough a window someone passes you a broken gas ofpulque
Two singing voles lay music mescana while you dink biter pulque that tastes like sperm and piss.

‘ur bodys economy, curency its the national debt. Re whit and geen, RED, WHITE, BLUE, RED,
WHITE. The smc ore ike the new word order ie NAFTA sone ig brie, the political construct
of capitalist urian mared on hesethose boss by projection “callus ther case it’s the colonization
of anguage marked silence,

(tet, sent timid i)
“Land inthe dar could see the two shapes with guns walk up to our seats. Quiet, not breathing I it
‘on the bus. They come upto our seats and demand cur money (into! Diner I don speak the ln
guage som sent

‘Of cous stand behind you protected by your noledge of voice (language i Secondary) his body
speaks of (Dido you tll me just yesterday bout that gtson who was ape? ida, havent I head
thisstory too may times before]. speaksof potential explaitaton na plce where this voice islet,
and this time you hae the power one step over me eventhough You are ore sep under the gun

Boy status in language, a county a a cotinent, on a pane tha ses symbolic deni as inherent
trth- no questions asked.

This is my pasport im a joven mujer traveling alone. answer the questions correct Soy canalense,

ety. (My
aplication fran autonomous visa aut can feel it- aie you ca see it. My bodys impregnated

x

‘507 de Canada Soy etuiante There sno room fr esiltng|

uth si. This san

with surface identity,