ra 28 planet of the arts / december 1997 IDENTITIES d from previous page Rob left it up to Anthony and me to decide on confronting Dad about his affair. Anthony and | agreed that when we approached Dad, we would- n't get angry but would just try to get him to talk. YF hear yelling in the kitchen and when I arrive on the scene, Anthony is in tears and is starting to scream things at Dad like, “What’s her name?” It didn’t really matter what her name was, but ward and outspoken that he really hurts your feel- ings. He can go way too far. In a very formal way, Dad told us, “I’m a pri- vate person and I have no intention of discussing this matter with my kids. It was a letter that was never sént.” se That answer seemed kind of okay at the time. But thinking back on it, I say to myself, “Wait a minute. It does involve us. You can’t be a private person in this respect. You can’t just keep it inside. It affects the whole family. You should have realized that. You can’t say that you aren't going to discuss it with your kids. We’re your kids, so you should discuss it Anthony was just losing it. And when he loses it, he can be so straightfor- with us.” Well, at least Dad didn’t have a heart attack. We thought he might because he holds so much inside. We didn’t really predict that he would put up such a wall — and not even reply to us. I feel like I don’t really know my Dad, and that I probably never will. It’s unfortunate. I have hated him as much as I have loved him. I really didn’t like the way he did things when we were younger. He didn’t relate to us, he didn’t talk to us. I often feel anger towards him, and yet I love him too. This summer my Mom told me about the trip she took to Africa before she got married, and about the lover she went with. Apparently he was won- derful in bed, a really sweet person but not so great with conversation. He was a hippie, a smok- er, and a total drifter. Mom showed me a photo- graph of him — he’s a cute guy. _ grunt Fundraiser From Palette to Palate II — Art and Recipes from the grunt Please your palate with recipes and art from the grunt palette as we launch From Palette to Palate II featuring hand worked art and distinctive recipes by 25 Vancouver artists, all bound in a limited edition cookbook. From Palette to Palate Iisa unique and original gift idea for the upcoming festive season. The limited edition cookbooks are available for only $20 each. Remember, the cookbooks sold out fast last year, so don’t be disappointed — get yours now. grunt would like to acknowledge support from the Printing House, James Glen and all the participating artists and volunteers for this project. The following is a sample recipe for you to try out... Beggar's Noodle feast (approximate preparation time is 30 to 40 minutes) I love Chinese noodle soups at anytime. | remember my mother making noodle You'll need - 6 cups of water a squirt of cooking oil 2 cups of roughly julienned cabbage or chunks of broccoli or frozen vegetables, etc. /f you need add more 2 medium stalks of finely chopped green onions 1/2 tsp of sesame oil (or to taste) 1/8 tsp of white pepper powder (or to taste) 4 or more tsp of soya sauce (or to taste) 1 1/2 inch diameter of foot long Chinese noodles (or flat, thin or thick) salt & pepper (to taste) Optional slements broth or broth or 1 i cube Handful of sliced mushrooms (this can also be the dried Chinese black ones) 1/2 pound of ground beef or 1/2 pound of boneless diced chicken, or slices of Chinese BBQ pork or left over roast beef or turkey , etc. 2 medium carrots sliced or 1 medium diced red pepper or tomato 2 dash of Cajun spice powder 1/2 tsp of chili garlic sauce (Oh yes!) dash of Chinese 5 spice powder 2 table spoon of chopped Chinese coriander 2 eggs In painting, if you start off with an underpainting, & don't end up covering it all up, this initial layer of paint will add a richness to your overall work. Consider the broth/bouillon cube as “underpainting.” If you have some, use it. You can also choose to make a minimal painting (simplicity is ok), or you can add layers of glazes, more colours & different textures to give the work if depth & ite richness. to say, the more of the optional elements you add to the soup, the richer the feast becomes. To begin, in a large pot with high heat add the cooking oil. Before the smoke starts to fly, quickly stir fry your (frozen & any that goes limp too fast are added later. Here, | usually either include some carrots or red pepper for bursts of contrasting colours.) Next, add the water or broth. While the soup is coming to a boil, add the green onions, sesame oil, white pepper, & black pepper. At the same time, you can add the optional spices & sauce (be daring). When the soup boils, add the noodles & immediately stir them to prevent clumping. When the noodles are almost done (make sure you don't over cook them as this kills the dish), add the frozen or would-be limp vegetables & any precooked meat (the raw beef & chicken should be stir fried around the same time as the vegetable) & salt to taste. If you want to add the eggs, do so now, but cover the pot with a lid so the soup eat ee Bat bet | you begin to feel the body’s natural cooling effect . . . soups on cold winter days in London, Ontario. They are delicious, filling & can bring heat into them old bones. On hot summer days, a bowl of it will give you a good sweat & then To me, cooking is like painting, you sort of have an idea to begin with, but the end result could be completely different from what you were expecting. This is what makes both painting & cooking exciting. In addition, like painting, you might not always have the & serve in large bow's. y lies” at hand; P iP gredients” in this recipe; hence the long list of optional elements. are TEELRERELPIPLPIITI simmers for 2 to 3 minutes. Remember, no limp noodles! When cooked, dish out the soup & noodles, sprinkle on the Chinese coriander, 1am not trying to slave-drive you but, it is possible, while the noodles are being cooked, to wash all the utensils, the chopping board & clean up the cooking area! With the experience gained over time cooking this dish, you'll even know when to add the appropriate left overs to create a great new taste experience. Years ago Mom bought a parrot, which started to pluck its feathers. And so she got into home- opathy to try to cure it. And through that she got into animal communication and shamanism. On the way, she got into menopause. She’s having all these hormone surges, and she keeps falling in love with twenty-year-old guys, being all excited by their youth and vigour. When she tells me about these crushes, it’s like having a girlfriend, not a mother. I think it’s good for her to talk about this stuff with me. I can tell she isn’t about to have an affair. All the worst parts of you seem to come out when you are with your family. With most fami- lies, I think the ways of hurting each other become so entrenched, and so people just block themselves off to guard themselves. Mom doesn’t seem to put up defenses though. She’s vulnerable in a way that if you try to hurt her, you easily can. Mom is the only one in the family who doesn’t know about the affair. But she has her own life, and she will be okay. She'll be fine. Mom and Dad are financial and kid-raising partners, I think. And they are friends. They seem to get along fine but they don’t seem to love each other necessarily, at least not really LOVE each other. I think the physical aspect of their relation- ship is over. : That must be the whole thing about marriage — to work through your incompatibilities. But you know, Mom did tell me she married Dad for his reliability and responsibility. That the sex was not interesting. Dad does have a sensitive side to himself. It’s just that he doesn’t give enough to us from it. Families can be so good. Loving people can be so good. About an hour after Anthony and I confronted Dad about his affair and got nowhere, Anthony was yelling at Dad again. This time Anthony wanted to use the car, and Dad was saying no. Ol Drawings for this story depict Mom, Anthony and Rob; they were done by a friend of Elvie. 28 plonet of the arts / december 1997 IDENTITIES Rob left it upto Anthony and me to decide on confronting Dad about his affa. Anthony and 1 agred that when we approached Dad, we would st get angry but would jst ry to get him to talk "hear yelling inthe kitchen and when I arrive fon the scene, Anthony i in tears nd is starting to scream things at Dad like, “What’s her name?” It did't eally matter what her name was, but Anthony was just losing it. And when he loses it, he can be so straghtor ard and outspoken that he really hurts your fee- ings. He can go way tof. In avery formal way Dad told ws, “Tm apr vate person and I have no intention of discussing this mater with my kids. It was alter that was That answer seemed kind of okay But thinking back on it say to myself, “Wait a minute. It does involve us. You cant bea private the time, person inthis respect. You cant just keep it inside, I affects the whole family. You should have realized that You can't say that you arent going to discus it with your ids, Wee your kids, $0 you should discus it with ws ‘Well, at least Dad didnt have a heart attack, We thought he might because he holds so much inside, We dda really predit that he would put {up sucha wall~ and not even reply tus el ike I don't really know my Dad, and that 1 probably never wil. Is unfortunate. have hated him as much as Ihave loved him 1 elly dial the way he id things when we were younger. He didnt relate to us, he did talk tus often feel anger towards him, and yet Love him too ‘This summer my Mom told me about the trp she tok to Africa before she got marred, and about the lover she went with. Apparently he was won eral in bed a realy sweet person but not so rat with conversation. He was hippie asmok- ‘rand atta drier. Mom showed mea photo graph of him he's acute guy. grunt Fundraiser From Palette to Palate II — Art and Recipes from the grunt Peas your pte wih recipe and at rom the pump we anh Fom Pte ulate I ig hand wkd artan dither by 25 Vancouver atts l ound init eiton oabosk From Pete Pate Is niu nd og ite forth upcoming Gn sn. The indo cookbook ae val fr ny $20 cach Remeber he cookbook sol out fist at edo be duped our ow: rot woul ket acknowl sept om the ting Hou, James Glen andl the pring art an oleic for hi oe. ‘Teflon ia sample cp for you tryout Beggar's Noodle Feast MT TUETOPEErey| ‘Years ago Mom bought a parrot, which started to pluck its feathers. And so she got into home: ‘pathy to ty to cure it. And through that she got {no animal communication and shamanism, On ‘the way, she got into: menopause, She's having all these hormone surges and she keep fling in love with twenty-year-old guys, being all excited by their youth and vigour. 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But you ‘know, Mom did tll me she maried Dad fr his reliability and responsibilty. That the sex was not imteresting, Dad does have a sensitive side to hhimselE. Ws just that he doesn't give enough tows fi Families can beso good, Loving poople can be so good ‘About an hour after Anthony ant confronted Dad about his ffi and got nowhere, Anthony was yelling at Dad again. This time Anthony wanted to use theca, and Dad was saying no.