Ben Smith’s Mighty Goo Video S ions for th __.. Sbulally Basement-Ridden oy Benjamin Asa Smith With the video release of The Blair Witch Project having just preceded the printing of this issue, it seems as though | would be committing a great disservice to our readers were | not to dedicate the inaugural run of this column to horror/suspense films that can actually be watched more than once and still be interesting. Suspiria Directed by Dario Argento, very frightening tunes supplied by Goblin. Damn, this is one scary movie! |'m still-a little foggy on what it's all about as | was too busy being freaked out to pay attention to plot. Luscious colours, sweetly constructed shots, and a kind avoidance of the typical Italian-horror-film-naked-women-jogging-about-and-getting-slashed deal, Suspiria deals in terror and con- fusion. | recommend this movie highly, and | recommend watching it alone, in the dark, and with head- phones. Freeeeky. : Scenes to watch for: try and figure out just why that room full of razor-wire was there. Additional viewing: Profondo Rosso. The Thing Starring Kurt Russell, directed by John Carpenter. This film (which, intentional or not, works quite well as a metaphor for the AIDS scare of the early eighties) does contain the terrible John Carpenter music that tends to drag down his other movies. However, the rest of the movie is cool enough to overcome such a severe handicap. With a tone wonderfully similar to John Wyndham novels, The Thing is at once disgusting, thrilling, and para- noia-inducing. | don't really want to tell you about the plot lest | wreck the first scene which is pretty neat. Just rent it and revel in the finest dog-acting this side of...well, | can't think of any other dog actors. Scenes to watch for: a head growing legs and walking away, a gut-wrenching dog reduction moment in a kennel. Additional viewing: Big Trouble In Little China! Brain Dead, a.k.a. Dead Alive Directed by Peter Jackson. Easily the goriest film in existence, Brain Dead couples its flying flesh with a wicked and, at times, unbelievable sense of humour. When a Sumatran rat monkey makes it to New Zealand, it spreads some crazy Sumatran disease which causes the afflicted to become flesh-eating zombies: Oh, the humanity! This film is amazing! Scenes to watch for: the blood in the pudding (oh, the sound effects!). the karate fighting priest, zombie sex (!). Additional viewing: Bad Taste, Meet The Feebles, Heavenly Creatures. Picnic At Hanging Rock Directed by Peter Weir. | think that this is Weir's first movie, and if it is he's only gone down from here. His other flicks are good, but nothing can compare to Picnic (which hopped on to my personal top ten list after only one viewing). Based upon the true incident (unsolved) wherein a group of school girls mysteriously disappeared from Hanging Rock in Australia, it presents the facts as they were and leaves the audience to figure out what happened. You won't. Picnic At Hanging Rock is poetic and unhinging. Scenes to watch for: the whole thing. Additional viewing: watch this movie again. Scream No, I'm just kidding. Vampire's Kiss Starring Nicolas Cage, waaay before he started hooring himself in those shite Bruckheimer flicks. Okay, I'll admit that this isn't exactly a horror film, but it is the best interpretation of the vampire myth that I've ever seen. And before any of you goth people out there start hunting me down, yes, | know it's a comedy. This oddball piece follows the journey of a hapless fellow (Cage) as he passes through the stages of becoming a vampire, even though it's all in his head. It's the most pathetic, hilarious, and, ultimately, appropriately poignant vampire movie you're likely £0 Sec: Scenes to watch for: Cage with plastic vampire teeth when he can't afford porcelain (had me in tears from laughing), Cage actu- ally eating a cockroach. Additional viewing: Why, Wild At Heart, of course. And don't watch Moonstruck (although it is horrifying). Quick suggestions: Jacob's Ladder (a mind-bender, to be certain. Watch it at 3:00am), The Dawn Of The Dead (the most god-damned fucking awesomest zombie movie!), Hallowe'en and Hallowe'en 2 (cre- ative. | don't suggest you watch any of the ensuing sequels), The Kingdom (by Lars Von Triers. Highly recommended), and The Muppet Movie (it may not be a horror film, but it's got monsters and it's really good). pnotros by Marc Hébert Ben mast light eee : it eee Sbdially Basement-Ridden by Benjamin Asa Smith With the video release of The Blair Witch Project having just preceded the printing of this issue, it seems as though 1 would be committing a great disservice to our readers were | not to dedicate the inaugural run of this column to horror/suspense films that can actually be watched more than once and still be interesting + Suspiria Directed by Dario Argento, very frightening tunes supplied by Goblin, Damn, this is one scary movie!” I'm still litle foggy on what it’s all about as | was too busy being freaked out to pay attention tosplot. Luscious colours, sweetly constructed shots, and a kind avoidance of the typical 'talian-horror-film-naked-women-jogging-about-and-getting-slashed deal, Suspiria deals in terror and con fusion. | recommend this movie highly, and | recommend watching it alone, in the datk, and with head. phones. Freeeeky Scenes to watch for: try and figure out just why that room full of razor-wire was there ‘Additional viewing: Profondo Rosso, The Thing Staring Kart Russell, directed by John Carpenter. This film (Which, intentional or not, works quite well as a metaphor for the AIDS scare of the early Eighties) does contain the terrible John Carpenter music that tends to drag down his other movies However, the rest of the movie is cool enough to overcome such a severe handicap. With a tone wonderfully similar to John Wyndham novels, The Thing is at once disgusting, thriling, and para. noia-inducing. | don't really want to tell you about the plot lest! wreck the frst scene which is Betty neat. Just rent it and revel in the finest dog-acting this side of..well, | can't think of any other dog actors, Scenes to watch for: a head growing legs and walking away, a gut-wrenching dog reduction moment in a kennel ‘Additional viewing: Big Trouble In Little Chinat Brain Dead, a.k.a. Dead Alive Directed by Peter Jackson. Easily the goriest film in existence, Brain Dead couples its flying flesh with a wicked and, at times, unbelievable sense of humour ‘When a Sumatran rat monkey makes it to New Zealand, it spreads some crazy Sumatran disease which causes the afflicted to become flesh-eating zombies: Oh, the humanity! This film is amazing! Scenes to watch for: the blood in the pudding (oh, the sound effects!) the karate fighting priest, zombie sex (), Additional viewing Bad Taste, Meet The Feebles, Heavenly Creatures Oe pienicAt Hanan Rock ae 2 Directed by Peter Weir. ‘ "think that this is Weir's first movie, and if iti he's only gone down from here. His other flicks até good, but nothing can compare to Picnic (which hopped on tomy personal top ten listafteronly one viewing). Based upon the true incident (unsolved) wherein a group of school girls mysteriously disappeared from Hanging Rock in Australia, it presents the facts as they were and leaves the audience to figure out what happened. You won't. Picnic At Hanging Rock is poetic and unhinging Scenes to.watch for: the whole thing. ‘Additional viewing: watch this movie again. we Seeam ® No, I'm just kidding. Vampire's Kiss Starring Nicolas Cage, waaay before he st those shite Bruckheimer ‘Okay, I'll admit that this isn’t exactly a horror film, b the best interpretation of the vampire myth that I've ever seen. And before any of you goth people out there start hunting me down, yes, | know it's a comedy. This oddba Piece follows the journey of a hapless fellow (Cage) as hi passes through the stages of becoming a vampire, even though it's all in his head. It's the most pathetic, hilarious, and, ultimately. appropriately poignant vampire movie you're likely Scenes to watch for: Cage with plastic vampire teeth when he can't afford porcelain (had me in tears from laughing), Cage actu: ally eating a cockroach ‘Additional viewing: Why, Wild At H ‘And don't watch Moonstruck (although itis horrifying), Quick suggestions: Jacob's Ladder (a mind-bender, to be certain Watch it at 3:00am), The Dawn Of The Dead (the most god-damned fucking awesomest zombie moviel), Hallowe'en and Hallowe'en 2 (cre- ative. 1 don't suggest you watch any of the ensuing sequels), The Kingdom (by Lars Von Tiers. Highly recommended), and The Muppet lovie it may not be a horror film, but it’s got monsters and it's really good)