Note: Because there has beena departure of the original Spiritual Bunnies’ favorite advisor- a Capricorn, there will no longer be any humorous content in the Capricorn horoscope... CAPRICORN ( December 23 - January 20 ) You will almost certainly die, NO NO JUST KIDDING, PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN EUGENE!! (THE SOUND OF A PUMPKIN GETTING READY TOJUMP INTO A READY MADE PIE CRUST FILLS THE AIR.) Oh, oh, Ihave a headache, I can’t go on any longer...no seriously there will be a red canister in your future, a red canister with a funnel thingy attached to it sort of “going off” in your kitchen... AQUARIUS (January 21 - February 19) Zipit, zipit good, it’s not too late, to zip it, zip it up. ( Dah-nah-nah-NAH-NAH-...do-do-do- do da-da-da-da...) This month may set records in opening that odd mind of yours up to the world and perhaps offending one too many small spotted dogs by the name of Frank. Frank can be avoided by eating lots of quiche (no, ooops, I mean EGG PIE...) and squirting mustard bottles so that they make those odd bowel movement noises. PISCES ( February 20 - March 20 ) Don’t you find it odd, Pisces, that you really, really, really enjoy chowing down your very own?? Come on now, you did enjoy sushi over the holidays, and if you don’t like fish you’re either lying or you’re adopted and your parents have a dog named FRANK. (If you don’t like fish, why not try FRANK? ) Set some work records this month and you'll somehow avoid that 757 from dropping down on the picnic on the 17th. ARIES (March21 - April20) Aries-hmmm, AIR-eze, let me think here, hmmm... Oh, I’ve got it! This month you’ll have no trouble breathing Aries, especially if you avoid smoking. Oh, oops, you smoke? ( Think here Aries, AIR-WHEEZE!! Got it! ) This month you should avoid smoking Cuban cigars until you see Fidel following Gorby’s lead. Also, avoid any spotted dog shit on the sidewalk and if it asks for a hot dog ignore it. Very important. HORROR-SCOPE by Spiritual Bunnies TAURUS ( April 21 - May 21 ) Turbulent times are coming to an end now, especially since you’ve had a tire attached to the nim. Kinda helps doesn’t it? Mechanical problems may arise on the 17th due toa large turbo jet engine slamming quite heavily ontothe hood of your vehicle, be sure to get the airbag checked out for any fowl bowel related smellies (in these tough economical times you can’t trust those damn American car companies!!) GEMINI ( May 22 - June 21) Spiritual Bunnies don’t enjoy the ° The Sound of Music’ too much, so don’t start hammering out “Oh What a Wonderful Moming” on the floor of your apartment with one of your high-heels, it gives me the willies. My great-great, oh so great-grandmother was stepped on by accident by Julie Andrews as she whirled herself into sickness in the beginning of that *1@#%&**!!! movie! Youmay sufferfroma slight case of A.A.O. around the 12th so beware! ( Alarming Armpit Odor ) LEO ( July 24 - August 23 ) Many a night you’ve had that nightmare about fuzzy John Lithgows in purple, suits with white spirals, jumping up and down on fake furry Marmots that make ‘eeekerr-eeekerr!!’ noises and squirt fake jelly donut filling all over your favorite parka- you know, the one your grandmother gave you - the one that smelled kinda like quiche if you left it out in the rain too long? Well it looks like you’ re just going to have to suffera litle bit longer... VIRGO ( August 24 - September 23 ) Don’t you hate it when you’re walking along, you know, minding your own business? You know, just keeping to yourself?? Yeah, [hate that too... so this month is the time to get very obnoxious. Do you like beans, do you like offensive sounds, do you like re-living your worst childhood memory of accidently belching out loud with a tremendous BRAAACK!!! in front of your parents’ friends and getting ham- mered because they thought you did it on purpose?? What the hell am I getting at here??... Planet of the Arts Volume 7 Issue5 page 18 LIBRA ( September 24 - October 23 ) Find yourself a good book and read it upside-down, back to front. If someone asks you why you’re doing so, tell them that you’re sick of green jello, you hate Canadian politics, you’re sick of smoke salmon moose, and they don’t make boxer shorts with little pink dinosaurs on them. Alsotell them that yourfeetare stinky, the rain makes you happy, and you’ re disappointed that they’re going to stop running David Lynch’s ‘Angriest Dog inthe World’ in Comic Relief. Anyhow, that’s what I would do this month, personally, ya know. SCORPIO ( October 24 - November 22 ) Now that your entire personal solar system has been gobbled up and all your friends have disappeared, I guess some good news would be helpful at this point in time. What I would like to know is- if everything around you has been swallowed up, and just by chance you have to go to the bathroom, where the heck does ‘it’ go, because all the space you really have left is your personal space, know what I mean? So lets solve this problem by passing on a friendly note to Zargoondall,, the giant-green-cosmic-stir-stick-of-the-oblivious, and lets see what happens... SAGITTARIUS ( November 23 - December 22 ) Due to unseen stress this month you may want to do one of twothings. a) Youmay want to havea word with a Scorpio, if you can find one, and borrow that giant-green-cosmic-stir-stick-of-the-oblivious person and stir the coffee of that certain somebody who has been a little annoying (But don’t let on that it was YOU that used the unholy-one’s hairy feet.) b) Don’t miss the next ‘cartoon fest.’ at the College because ‘Rem and Stimpy’ is sure cure-all for any ailment. And if that doesn’t do it, try a couple of Tex Avery flicks. CANCER ( June 22 - July 21 ) One day a cute little crab-like creature was wandering slowly across the warm mid-day sand of a beautiful west coast beach. It paused for a moment to snack on a juicy little dead jellyfish, all encrusted in sand, and sat there as happy asit’s cousin the clam digesting it’s dead friend the jellyfish. Then our cute little friend the crab moved on to his next snack, his dead friend the seasquirt. And then suddenly a young child came along and squashed our cute little friend. (A typical excursion to the beach and a look at it’s hidden tragedies.)* NONY ill Granville Island The students and staff — of Emily Carr College are a part of the Granville Island Community. And we want you to know that because you are part of the community you are entitled to a number of priviledges. For information about Granville Island call 666-5784. OF FILMS...... and things. Usually we charge (up Avoid parking to $1000 a day) for the | hassles. We have rights to use Granville done our best to Island as a location for accommodate the filming. But as an needs of the students. Emily Carr student, There is a limited our Island is open to number of parking you as a lively and spaces available to diverse locale for your film projects at no students in the parking garage across charge. Just call from the School. 666-6655 to register Contact the Emily with us. Carr Administration for details about special passes. You also have three hours parking for free on the Island outside of the parking garages. Remember it is three hours per car, not per space, so even if you move your car the clock doesn’t stop ticking. CMHC $°% SCHL Granville Island [ Phone 666-6655 | Ree. Note: Because there has beena departure ofthe origina Spriual ‘Bunnie’ favriteadvigo-a Capricorn, there willno longer beany moro content inthe Capricorn horoscope. (CAPRICORN ( December 23 - January 20) You wil almost ‘cenainly die, NO NO JUST KIDDING, PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN EUGENE! (THE SOUND OF A PUMPKIN GETTING READY TOJUMPINTO AREADY MADE PIECRUST FILLS ‘THE AIR) bch, Ihaveaheadache, can’ goon any lnger..10 seriously vere willbe aed canister in your fue, a red canister wit a funnel thingy atached 1 it sor of “going off” in your Kitchen. AQUARIUS (Janary21-Febrary 19) Zit pion, sot tool ozpit aipitup, Dab aah-mah-NAH-NAH. 40-40-60 oda-dda-d.) This mon may st recoisin opening that od mind of yours upothe worl and peas ofenting one tomany small sed dogsby be name of Frank, Fak can eave by ‘cain las of uch (no, onos, mean EGG PE.) and suiting mustard bole s hat hey ake those ad bowel movement ISCES (February 20-March 20) Dont you find ito, Pisces, that you relly, elly, relly enjoy chowing down yourvery own? ‘Come on now, youd enjoy sushi over the holidays, and if you don't like fish you'e either lying or you're adopted and your areas havea dg named FRANK. Ifyou don' like fish why nt ty FRANK? ) Set some work records this month and you'll somehow avoid that 757 fom dropping down onthe picnic on he 1m ARIES (March21-Apil20)ries-hmmm, AIR etme think here, rma... I've got! Tis month yout have no toable ‘breathing Aries, especialy if you avoid smoking. Oh, oops, you make? (Think here Ares, AIR- WHEEZE!! Covi!) This month you should avoid smoking Cuban cigars uni) you se Fidel following Gorby’s ead. Also, avoid any spoted dg shit onthe sidewalk and fit asks fr at dog ignore it. Very imponan. ‘The stents and staff of Emily Carr College ae apar of the Granville Island ‘Community. And we ‘want you 1o know that ‘because you are part ofthe community you sav entiled 10a number of priviledges. For {information about Granville Island call 666-5784. HORROR-SCOPE by Spiritual Bunnies “TAURUS (Apsil21-May 2) Turblen mes are coming 10 an end now, especialy since you've had a ire atached woth rm, Kinda help does tif? Mechanical problems may riseonthe 17h dvetoalargeturboeengine slamming quite eavily oniothe hood of your veil, be sure to get the arg checked out for any fowl bowel related smelies (ines tough economictimes you can't st those damn American car companies!) GEMINI ( May 2 June 21 Spiral Bunies don't enjoy tne “Te Sound of Music’ to much 50 don't start hammeringout“Oh ‘What a Wonderful Morning” on he lor of your apanment with ‘one of yourhigh-hel it gives mete wiles. My great-great oh sogreat-grandmother was seppedonby accdentby Julie Andrews a she whised herself into sickness inthe begining ofthat *1@ae& tI move! Youmay sufferfomaslghicaseof A.A. sound the 12h o beware! (Alaming Anmpit Odor) [LBO (July 24 - Angus 23 ) Many a right you've had that rightmare abou zy John Lithgow in purple suis with white spirals, jumping up and down on fake funy Marmot tht make “eeskere-cecker! noses and squ fake ely donufiling allover yourfavoiteaka-youknow, the one yourgramethergaveyou the one that smelled kinda ike quiche if you efit out inthe rain toolong? Welitloks ke you jus goingtohavetosuferalite bit longer. ‘VIRGO ( August 24 - September 23 ) Don't you ate it when you're walking along, you know, minding your own business? ‘Youknow,justkepngio yourself?” Yeh, Thatta. shs months the time 0 get very obnoxious. Do oui beans do you like offensive sounds, do you ike re-tvng your worst childhood memory of acidenly telcing outloud with temendous _BRAAACKI! ia front of your pure ends and geting han mered because they thought yo dit on purpose? What the el am ening at here”. OF FILMS...... Planet of the Arts Volume7 Issue5 page 18 LIBRA (September 24- October) Find yourself a god book and read it upside-down, back to front. If someone asks you why you're doing so tel them that you're sick of ren jello, you hate Canadian pots, you're sck of smoke elon moos, and they on tmake boxer shonswihitlepink dnosaursonthem,Alsotll ‘hemthat yourFeetarestinky,herainmakes youbappy,andyou'e