you're at art school! Did you know that most suc-
cessful artists and curators are white males? How
lame is that? So stop now before you end up an
alcoholic, movie addicted chronic DJ welfare
recipient with delusions of grandeur. Take it from
me. We're all being lied to, manipulated and
brainwashed.

Now, let's get really anxious about all the
Hollywood Freemason Jews dumbing down the
populace by making CIA war movies for TV star-
ring slutty female cops who say "Urban decay is
so dead," right before they put a bullet in the
head of an unarmed protester fighting for our
democracy. Now that's what | call entertainment!
The meaning of life is an advertisement. Speaking
of corporate American capitalist media war
machines, Arnold Schwarzenegger rang the open-
ing bell at the NYSE to promote his new movie
Collateral Damage. Wow. | think he's a Nazi. The
Patriots won the SuperbowI!! Hip-hip hooray!
Fixed games, elections, Enron, war movies, what-
ever. If you're rich clap your hands together and
sing, "Let's make this happen." If you're white
clap your hands together and sing, "That's not on
my radar screen." Jesus bled on the cross so you
could get a student loan to make art and change
the world? Enlighten the masses? Since when
does art ever really change anything? Go assassi-
nate a political leader instead. Do something tan-
gible and positive.

God! When | finally realized how crazy the white
man is, | nearly lost my mind! Should | be embar-
rassed? Or perhaps | should be ashamed of my
spending habits when | actually have a bit of
money? I'm the last one of my talented friends
who doesn't work for an ad agency. That's some-
thing all you art scholars should sit and spin on.
The sad thing is you might actually WANT to
work at an ad agency. What's worse is | can
hardly blame you. We are a product of our envi-
ronment and our environment is a twisted barrage
of unreal, corrupt, white family values. A sea of
adverts that erode the middle class and make the
rich richer by convincing everybody to buy things
we can't afford and don't need. "Bling bling" may
look subversive, but is it really? Do you think a
blue suit wearing cracker gives a shit if a nigga’
with gear drives a Lex? You'll never live in his

neighborhood and he owns stock in Toyota, he
owns stock in Texaco! He doesn't care! A Lexus
on the road is still money in his pocket.
Remember: Time is money, nothing else.

Speaking of rich white people on the art tip, |
went to a very arty party at Mark Oliver’s house a
while ago and | had the realization that the rich
can afford to be arty and pretend to be talented,
but most of them are a bunch of fucking hacks.
Posing as liberal artists who actually have the
same values as their right wing parents. Having a
Jack Kerouac CD may be cool, but is it any justifi-
cation for a hyper-bourgeois lifestyle? You will be

veveey v i will tell you a secret v
v vy iam poor in strength v

and usually in conversation v

assimilated or you will perish. This is their mes-
sage. This is the last stage of imperialism and
Dennis Miller is an asshole.

Did you know that English is spreading across
the globe like a disease? More people speak
English as a second language than a first. That's
a fact. English is the official language of control,
business law and copyright protection. A rigid,
obtuse, and generally unexpressive language that
confines and controls meaning, thought and intel-
ligence. Slang actually adds meaning to correct
English, which is why whitey hates it so much.
When you fail as an artist, remember you can

always teach English as a second language in
Malaysia! Fun!

Moses freed the slaves but if you drop E at work
you're gonna get fired. Vote for me and | can
change all that! Despite the taste of bitterness,
this is still the greatest democracy in history. It
may be corrupt, no doubt, but it is a democracy
none the less. How else can you explain all this
advanced propaganda trying to keep us con-
fused, fragmented, and too busy trying to survive?
The rat race is real. This is the state at work.
Organization man. Nothing more, nothing less.
Microwave my brain and feed me subliminal shit
on a platter, it doesn't matter. The man can dis-
guise the truth as a lie, and a lie as the truth, but
the truth is always the truth. William Boroughs
once said, "I don't care if a son of a bitch likes me
or not, what | care about is what is he prepared
to do about it." If you don't like the powers that
be, what are you going to do about it?

| am the product of a superpower. A great
democracy stopping evolution, suspending time,
and rewriting history every single day to suit the
latest takeover agenda. They live on a mandate to
acquire wealth and power. Oh, | almost forgot,
and to meet God. In 3003 Bill Gates, Faith
Popcorn and Walt Disney will launch a charred,
barren, mechanized, galvanized Earth out of orbit
on a quest to face God. Now is that weird, or is
that just white? It's sick! It's ridiculous! It’s impos-
sible! But it’s also more likely to happen than the
elimination of poverty. Sometimes | walk down
Robson Street and think to myself, "This is a
class M planet." And if I'm half drunk sometimes
I'll even sing it out loud to all the passing thought-
less, brainwashed, shopping drones stabbing
each other in the back to swipe the stripe. Word.

| can't tell if the Queen Mum is a lizard or not but
| definitely know everything on CNN is bullshit.
That's good enough for me.

Carter Hayes 0