NASTY REVIEWS OF NASTY MUSIC by Elizabeth FitzZaland When | use the term “NASTY” | do not intend it as in the looks your younger siblings gave you from time to time from across the dinner table. | use the term “NASTY" as in the taste that’s left in your mouth after biting into a potentially sweet, juicy orange but dis- covering with disgust that it is rotten through and through. Here is some NASTINESS to bite into(though by reading this it won't be the same NASTINESS that | experienced because | have annihilated most, if not all, of your expectations -- the sweet potential is gone. oh well). ; BECK, M/IDNITE VULTURES Soon after agreeing to write these reviews, | became slightly disappointed and somewhat right-out pissed-off when | found out that | could keep all the CDs (just look at these milestones in western crap.....) with the exception of the only one | really wanted, Beck... Well, after listening to this album, | can easily say that | am glad that Influx is not going to unload this dust-gatherer on me. Listen to any of Beck's other albums twice instead of listening to this. TRIGGER HAPPY, / HATE US It's your typical angry-not-really-|-will-bob-my-head- some-other-time, mainstream punk album. Boring. | know of many superior punk bands... Don't buy this. Buy something else -- Hell, don't buy anything! You could just hum to yourself and bob your head to the sound of your very own creativity. | dunno. J. ENGLISHMAN, POOR LI'L ROCKSTAR “I'm too strong to love. I'm too weak to change,” and this album is too flaky to review. If you want someone to release passionate clichés into your living room, this album's for you. If you want interesting lyrics, look elsewhere. JET SET SATELLITE, BLUEPRINT Another band that you've never heard of but somehow know all the words to most of their songs (‘cause they sound like all the other radio drones). TRAIN see above EDWIN, ANOTHER SPIN AROUND THE SUN see above (my roommate sorta likes him and even she doesn't have anything to say about him-- and she's more musically inclined that | will ever be...) THE CHARLATANS UK, US AND US ONLY Do you like melancholic, potentially egotistic, British pop? Oasis? The Verve? Then you'll like this (| don't -- | can be melancholic and egotistic all on my own). ROLLINS BAND, GET SOME GO AGAIN Henry is tough, he has a thick neck (that he's mighty proud of, so | say) and he writes poetry hence his music hence this album -- It's corny in that tough-guy-kinda- way and | would go on like that but | have just been informed by someone here at Influx that | HAVE to say THE TIGGER MOVIE SOUNDTRACK _ reviewed by Elizabeth FitzZaland If you've seen the movie, don't listen to this -- you might get flash- backs to that unreasonably dull, long, boring and dismal portrayal of A. A. Milne's (who must've somersaulted six feet under) lovable characters who have been twisted by the hands of Disney. If you haven't seen the movie and need a pick-me-up, this album has your number. The perfect end-of-the-semester audio extrava- ganza. A bunch of favorite songs (including the Winnie the Pooh theme and The Most Wonderful Thing About Tiggers) and some new ones that are also decent and silly. You'll be bouncing through the darkroom and trouncing around the design department. Just skip the slow songs; they really suck. something good about this album because he really likes its: Ben really likes it, maybe you will too. HEDNOIZE, SEARCHING FOR THE END Electronica? | think | almost want to say | like this album, but honestly -- | can't remember. AH HA!!! That'll be my review: not memorable. Background noise, really descent background noise. BUSH, THE SCIENCE OF THINGS Judging by the cover, this looks like a mediocre type album to which I'd give a mediocre review (which may or may not be as good as a NASTY review). “It's alright if it's your thing.....". But there was no CD in the case | received... so never mind any of this. TARA MACLEAN, PASSENGER “Over-blown” “Drawn-out" “Boring” “therbtthrrbtthrrbt...” These are the initial comments of my peers when ques- tioned about this album and after much thought | con- cur. Tara McLean is depressing and dull and sounds like every other female singer who's capitalized on the Sarah McLachlan thing. @> ‘oe NASTY REVIEWS OF NASTY MUSIC by Elizabeth FitzZaland When | use the term “NASTY” I do not intend it as in the looks your younger siblings gave you from time to time trom across the dinner table. | use the term “NASTY” as in the taste that's left in your mouth after biting into a potentially sweet, juicy orange but dis- covering with disgust that itis rotten through and through. Here is some NASTINESS to bite into(though by reading this it won't be the same NASTINESS that | experienced because I have annihilated most, if not all, of your expectations -- the sweet potential is gone. oh well) BECK, MIDNITE VULTURES Soon after agreeing to write these reviews, | became slightly disappointed and somewhat right-out pissed-off when | found out that | could keep all the CDs (just look at these milestones in western crap.....) with the exception of the only one | really wanted, Beck... Well, after listening to this album, | can easily say that | am glad that Influx is not going to. unload this dust-gatherer on me. Listen to any of Beck's other albums twice instead of listening to this. TRIGGER HAPPY, | HATE US It's your typical angry-not-really-I-will-bob-my-head- some-other-time, mainstream punk album. Boring. | know of many superior punk bands... Don't buy this. Buy something else -- Hell, don't buy anything! You could just hum to yourself and bob your head to the sound of your very own creativity. | dunno. J. ENGLISHMAN, POOR LI'L ROCKSTAR “I'm too strong to love. I'm too weak to change,” and this album is too flaky to review. If you want someone to release passionate clichés into your living room, this album's for you. If you want interesting lyrics, look elsewhere JET SET SATELLITE, BLUEPRINT Another band that you've never heard of but somehow know all the words to most of their songs (‘cause they sound like all the other radio drones). TRAIN see above EDWIN, ANOTHER SPIN AROUND THE SUN see above (my roommate sorta likes him and even she doesn’t have anything to say about him-- and she's more musically inclined that | will ever be...) ‘THE CHARLATANS UK, US AND US ONLY Do you like melancholic, potentially egotistic, British op? Oasis? The Verve? Then you'll like this (I don’t ~ can be melancholic and egotistc all on my own). ROLLINS BAND, GET SOME GO AGAIN Henry is tough, he has a thick neck (that he’s mighty proud of, so | say) and he writes poetry hence his music hence this album -- It’s comy in that tough-guy-kinda- way and | would go on like that but I have just been informed by someone here at influx that | HAVE to say THE TIGGER MOVIE SOUNDTRACK reviewed by Elizabeth FitzZaland If you've seen the movie, don't listen to this -- you might get flash- backs to that unreasonably dull, long, boring and dismal portrayal of A.A. Milne’s (who must've somersaulted six feet under) lovable characters who have been twisted by the hands of Disney. Ifyou haven't seen the movie and need a pick-me-up, this album hhas your number. The perfect end-of-the-semester audio extrava- ganza. A bunch of favorite songs (including the Winnie the Pooh theme and The Most Wonderful Thing About Tiggers) and some new ones that are also decent and silly. You'll be bouncing through the darkroom and trouncing around the design department. Just skip the slow songs; they really suck. something good about this album because he really likes it. Ben really likes it, maybe you will too. HEDNOIZE, SEARCHING FOR THE END Electronica? | think | almost want to say I like this album, but honestly -- | can't remember. AH HAI!! That'll be my review: not memorable. Background noise, really descent background noise. BUSH, THE SCIENCE OF THINGS Judging by the cover, this looks like a mediocre type album to which I'd give a mediocre review (which may ‘or may not be as good as a NASTY review). “It’s alright if i's your thing.....". But there was no CD in the case | received... so never mind any of this. TARA MACLEAN, PASSENGER ‘Over-blown” Drawn-out” “Boring” “thrrbtthrrbtthrrbt...” These are the initial comments of my peers when ques- tioned about this album and after much thought | con- cur. Tara McLean is depressing and dull and sounds like every other female singer who's capitalized on the Sarah ‘McLachlan thing. 33 @