13

There's a question and I'm evading it’
There's a finger pointing and I'm evading it
When | work, what am | doing?

Entertaining myself?

Setting up acclaim for myself?

Producing 'work'' that looks acceptable?
Getting it over with? Being an art student?
Who's making the decisions?

Do | have time to ask these questions?

Who's doing this stuff and what for?

Are real artists supposed to be inspired all the time?

* * &

! want
to be lifted out of myself
my self

out of the prison of isolation of my self

1 want to be carried on a tidal wave of God - given inspiration

! want to see the world and understand and be at peace

and through my work express that peace, share that understanding,
touch the world with just a tiny fragment of wisdom.

Now

| am ignorant

! can only contribute my ignorance

Is the honest sharing of ignorance a contribution?

* * *

Tonight

| thought for sure that | would become lost

in some gray, vacant space of ennui

and it hasn't been like that at all

But | passed some scary thing

some gate-guardian mischievious entity who whispered my fears to me.
1 did not run away, exhausted with running

and now | find myself closer to home than ever.

Surprise!

Lena Leszczynski