34 Planet of the Arts / March 1997 i jy Identities Let Me Go Down in The Mud by Susan Stewart M1 : the difference ee | between the Who and the Guess Who the same as not knowing the difference between Blind Melon and the Smashing Pumpkins?” Two teenage girls, one of them Suzo’s daughter Jeseka, the second, her friend Rhea, who also happens to be my daughter, are painted beside this provocative question on a large canvas. The question is of course rhetorical, unless you happen to have a teenager, and then it becomes a question of some signif- icance. If you can answer the first half and not the second that says something, as does the reverse. It places you inside or outside a gen- eration, depending on what you know. It used to be called the ‘gen- eration gap’ when we were kids in the sixties. Only when did we stop being kids and when did our kids start knowing more than we do? That is one of the things Suzo Hickey looks at in her new body of work, Let Me Go Down In The Mud, seven large canvases painted in acrylic. Suzo addresses queer motherhood, the inevitable process of aging, the strange and perplex- ing condition of adolescence, and the cultural crossroad in which these life paths meet. These are rich, muscular works with carefully worked out drawing, tons of underpainting, colors that trans- form through process, and an imaginative and vibrant palette. This work has immediate presence, and it has a lot to say. Besides having daughters the same age, Suzo and | are also neighbors. Our kids like to play a game where they list their similari- ties: moms have same name, they live on the same street hence the same postal code, moms drive same kind of car, kids used to have two guinea pigs and two cats, moms are lesbians... One of the paintings is a por- trait of Suzo’s sixteen year old son Marlon. Written on it: “Il wanted to see Hole perform at Lollapalooza but ended up being chauffeur for my son and his friend. Later, leafing through the program, | saw a quiz about cool vs uncool. Topping the list of uncool was “dropped off by mom.” In the painting Marlon holds a hand over his eyes. Suzo says the transforma- tion from young groovy lesbian to old boring lesbian takes about a week. Suzo and | meet each other when we start our matching cars in the morning on the way to work or in the laundry room. We always not knowing Mind Stew (1997) Computer illustration Design Division (Graphic Design) REM May 29 - 31, 1997 Ivan Tang | © tre racisson note, Sacramento snatch a little conversation and it is usually about the kids. Suzo knows more than | do about stuff that is going on but she says that is because she has a spy (Marlon). We agree that sometimes it is better not to know. Suzo’s work is the only place | know to go that talks about being a lesbian mother. Such a relief to visit this work, to know somebody else has these experiences. These paintings are grounded in lived experience. In earlier work she addressed issues of having an alter- native family. In her painted suit- case series she looked at city/country differences, and later, in another series of paintings, the reality of raising kids on no money. Let Me Go Down In The Mud, deepens these conversations even further. The largest painting in the show is a diptych she calls Good Mother/Bad Mother. On one side is the image of a woman in an apron, the good mom redolent with flour and kitchen wholesomeness, on the other a bold portrait of a lesbian femme flexing her muscles, don’t- fuck-with-me written all over her face. Suzo is talking about expecta- tions here, of what a mother should be. She is talking about hypocrisy and social judgement, how good behavior is expected from mothers, no cigarettes, drugs, no staying out late. A bad mother never goes to her kids functions, never mind that she works until she drops with nothing to show for it. When we have more time we talk about money, apartments, childcare, our jobs. Sometimes we talk about how we can’t find the time to do artwork. One day Suzo said she was postponing painting until the kids finished school, Later hear she is having a show in a few months. How will she do it, | think to myself, how can she possibly do it? So | asked her, how do you do it? “I'm never doing this again until the kids are gone — because when I'm working | completely ignore them - I'm never home,” Suzo went on to say that she doesn’t lover, who peer down at her from above as if to say, ‘get up mom, we need you’. Oh ya, did | mention that two of these family members have disabilities? “She was a very dangerous woman, she could really hurt me. And | realized that | wanted her fingers inside me right then. If | was honest, | would have put my arms around that thick neck of hers and climbed on top of her fingers.” —Sarah Schulman The Three Responsibilities (1996) feel like she is doing anything right. She can’t paint enough, not enough attention to the kids. When she takes time off work there is less pay but more panic. So she works more and ends up paint- ing at night and then she feels cranky and the kids suffer and she suffers. But she keeps doing it, painting from ten at night until four in the morning. and then goes to work at nine-thirty until five. Between five and ten she spends with the kids. She tried painting after work for awhile but gave it up because she never saw them. These are called working condi- tions: lousy pay, no time, too many responsibilities. If it sounds like a class thing, it is. It is also a lesbian single mother thing. These paint- ings get it right, using both wry humour, irony and no small dose of pain. In the painting “The Three Responsibilities” the point of view is the artist’s, as if lying down in bed surrounded by her kids and photographed by Merle Addison Suzo Hickey In a self portrait Suzo grasps a- cup and gazes out at the viewer. Her other hand gently holds her sleeping lover’s breast. Along with the Schulman quote the painting also states, “My desire to paint comes in a poor second to my desire to do almost anything else.” Desire is the operative word here. The desire to paint only partially superseded by the desire of lesbian love. Sometimes we talk about the school thing. “New schools are the worst” Suzo told me. The kids have to come out again to their new friends. “I stand outside my chil- dren’s school looking like I’m from Mars, picking up the kids.” We worry about how our lifestyles will affect the kids. | tell her how grate- ful | am that she is my neighbor, what a difference it makes. Twice as many lesbian moms! A good mother should be monogamous and sexually discrete. Suzo says we are supposed to model ourselves after the hetero family structure. one lover, living together, both partners parenting. The ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’ idea. The single lesbian mom who also happens to be an artist, into alternative music and culture, who has two teenage kids and with a lover on the other side of town, doesn’t fit any of the molds. It is accepted in this culture to be an artist and to be into alternative culture, in fact it is expected. We hate it when mothers do it though. As Suzo pointed out look what happened to Courtney Love. Called way down for being sexually out there and a mother. These paintings make connec- tions between mothering, art prac- tice, popular culture and sex, no apologies needed. Some of us live this reality and remarkably Suzo has painted it for us. Fortunately for us her desire to paint is strong enough to override any need for sleep she might have, or any of the other myriad excuses that could keep her away from producing work. However, what is chilling is the lack of cultural, social and eco- nomic support afforded single parents and artists. This brilliant, important body of work was pro- duced because Suzo Hickey loves to paint and she cares enough to give this gift to her community. Don’t be fooled into thinking this effort didn’t cost anything though. The title piece for the exhibit, Let Me Go Down Into the Mud, is really the final word. The image is another self portrait, this time though the artist is sinking away from us is a bath of brown enveloping mud, sinking away to be alone, to rest and Goddess willing to recuperate. Don’t be sur- prised though if she stays out of sight until 2001, the year Jeseka graduates. It would be our loss. @ Phone 604 681-2700 CONTEMPORARY Art Gallery BONUS Damian Moppett Howard Ursuliak Kelly Wood guest curated by Roy Arden panel discussion: tues, feb 25, 8 pm NEW ART FROM CUBA: Utopian Territories opening: sat, mar 22, 6 to 10 pm 555 Hamilton St., Vancouver, B. C., V6B 2R1 Fax 604 683-2710 e-mail: cag@axionet.com The Contemporary Art Gallery wishes to acknowledge the financial support of the Canada Council, the City of Vancouver, the Government of BC through the B. C Arts Council, and our members. feb 8 - mar 15 mar 22 - may 10 34 Planet of the Arts / March 1997 (WWW) Identities Let Me Go Down In The Mud by Susan Stewart “u # not knowing the aifference ene LD derween the Who and the Guess Who the same {as not knowing the difference between Blind Melon and the ‘Smashing Pumpkins?” Two teenage ‘is, one of them Suzo’s daughter Jeseka, the second, her friend Rhea, who also happens to be my daughter, ate painted beside this provocative question on a large Eanvas. The question is of course hetorical, unless you happen to have a teenager, and then it becomes a question of some signif- icance. if you can answer the frst half and not the second that says Something, as does the reverse. it places you inside or outside a gen tration, depending on what you know. It used to be called the gen: ‘eration gap’ when we were kids in the sities. Only when did we stop being kids and when did our kids Start knowing more than we do? ‘That i one ofthe things Suzo Hickey looks atin her new body of work, Let Me Go Down In The ‘Mud, seven large canvases painted in acryli. Suzo addresses queer ‘motherhood, the inevitable process (of aging, the strange and perplex Ing condition of adolescence, and the cultural crossroad in which these life paths meet. These are Fich, muscular works with carefully Worked out drawing, tons of Lnderpainting, colors that trans form through process, and an imaginative and vibrant palette This work has immediate presence, and it has a lot to sy. ‘Besides having daughters the same age, Suzo and I are aso neighbors. Our kids like to play 2 game where they list their similar ties: moms have same name, they live on the same street hence the ‘same postal code, moms drive same Kind of car kids used 0 have two ‘guinea pigs and two cats, moms fre lesbians One of the paintings isa por trait of Suz0's ssteen year old son Marlon. Written on it: wanted to see Hole perform at Lollapalooza but ended up being chauffeur for ‘my son and his friend. Later, leafing through the program, saw 2 quiz about cool vs uncool. Topping the list of uncool was "dropped off by mom.” In the painting Marlon hold a hand over his eyes. Suzo says the transforma tion from young groovy lesbian to ‘old boring lesbian takes about 2 week Suz0 and | meet each other when we start our matching cars in the morning on the way to work or in the laundry room. We always Mind stow (1997) snatch a little conversation and itis Usually about the kids. Suzo knows ‘more than Ido about stuff that i {ing on but she says that is Because she has a spy (Marlon). We ‘agree that sometimes itis better hot to know. ‘20 work isthe only place know to go that talks about being a lesbian mother. Such a relief to Visit this work, to know somebody ‘else has these experiences. These paintings are grounded in lived ‘experience In earlier work she ‘dressed issues of having an alter: native family. In her painted suit «ase series she looked at citylcountry diferences, and later, in another series of paintings, the reality of rising kids on no money. ‘Let Me Go Down In The Mud, deepens these conversations even further. The largest painting in the show i a diptyeh she calls Good Mother/Bad Mother. On one side is the image of a woman in an apron, the good mom redolent with flour land kitchen wholesomeness, on the other a bold portrait ofa lesbian femme flexing her muscles, don fuck-with-me written all over her face. 5u20 is talking about expecta tions here, of what 9 mother shouldbe. She is talking about hypocrisy and social judgement, how goad behaviors expected from mothers, no cigarettes, drugs, no staying out late. A bad mother ever goes to her kids functions, Fever mind that she works until ‘he drops with nothing to show for ie When we have more time we talk about money, apartments Childcare, our jobs. Sometimes we talk about how we can find the time to d0 artwork. One day Suzo Sid she was postponing painting ‘until the kids finished school, Later hhear she is having a show in 9 few ‘months. How will she do it 1 think to myself, how can she possibly do $0 | asked her, how do you do it? "Vm never doing this again until the kids are gone ~ because when I'm working I completely ignore them -'mnever home,” Suzo ‘went on to say that she doesn't fee! like she is doing anything right. She can’ paint enough, not enough attention to the kids. When she takes time off work there i ess pay but more panic. So she works more and ends Up paint: ing at night and then she feels cranky and the kids sufer and she Suffers. But she keeps doing it, painting from ten at night Until four in the morning. and then goes to work a ninethirty uni five Between five and ten she spends ‘withthe kid. She tried painting after work for awhile but gave it Up because she never saw them These are called working condi tions: lousy pay, no time, too many responsibilties. fit sounds ike a ass thing tis. Its also a lesbian Single mother thing. These paint: ings get it right, using both wry ‘humour, irony and no small dose of Bain. In the painting “The Three Responsiblities” the point of view isthe ats’, asif lying down in bed surrounded by her kids and lover, who peer down at her from above asf to 50, ‘get up mom, we need you'. Oh yo, did | mention that two of these family members have disabilities? “she was avery dangerous woman, she could realy hurt me. [And I realized that | wanted her fingers inside me right then. If was honest, | would have put my farms around that thick neck of hers and climbed on top of her fingers" “Sarah Schulman The Three Respons Ina self portrait Suzo grasps 2 cup and gazes out at the viewer. Her other hand gently holds her sleeping lovers breast. Along with ‘the Schulman quote the painting also states, “My desire to paint omes in @ poor second to my ‘desire to do almost anything ese” Desire isthe operative word here ‘The desire to paint only partially superseded by the deste of lesbian love Sometimes we tak about the school thing. "New schools ae the worst” Suz0 told me. The kids have to come out again to their new. friends. "stand outside my chil: dren's schoo! looking like Im from Phone 60668 Hamilton St, Venomer, B.C, V6B 2R1 700 Fox 604 683-2710 ‘Mars, picking up the kids" We worry about how our lfstyes will affect the kids. tell her how grate {ul am that she i my neighbor what a difference it makes. Twice {as many lesbian moms! 'A.good mother should be monogamous and sexually discrete, Suzo says we are supposed to ‘model ourselves after the hetero family structure. one lover, living together, both partners parenting, The ‘Heather Has Two Mommies ‘idea. The single lesbian mom who aso happens to be an artist, into aiternative music and culture, who has two teenage kids and with a lover on the ather side of town, doesn't ft any ofthe molds. fi ‘accepted inthis culture tobe an artist and to be into alternative Culture, infact itis expected. We hate it when mothers doit though {As Suzo pointed out look what happened to Courtney Love. Called ‘way down for being sexually out there and a mother. These paintings make connec tions between mothering, art prac tice, popular culture and exo apologies needed. Some of us live ‘this realty and remarkably Suzo hha painted it for us. Fortunately for us her desie to paints strong enough to overide any need for sleep she might have, or any of the fother myriad excuses that could Ieeep her avay from producing work. However, what i hiling is the lack of cultura, social and eco omic support afforded single parents and artists. This bilan, Important body of work was pro duced because Suz0 Hickey loves to paint and she ares enough to give this gift to her community. Don't be fooled into thinking this effort dn’ cos anything though. The title piece forthe exhibit, Let Me Go Down Into the Mud, is really the final word. The image is another self portrait, this time ‘though the artist i sinking away ‘rom us isa bath of brown ‘enveloping mu, sinking away to be alone, to rest and Goddess willing to recuperate. Don't be sur prised though if she stays out of, ‘Sight until 2001, the year Jseka graduates. t would Be our loss. ae. | CONTEMPORARY Art Gallery BONUS Damian Moppett Howard Ursuliak Kelly Wood | feb 8 - mar 15 ‘guest curated by Roy Arden panel discussion: tues, feb 25, 8 pm NEW ART FROM CUBA: J narz2-may 10 Utopian Territories pening: sat, mar 22, 6 to 10 pm