eda apian aes ted Se

— =

“the importance of
being joe”

translated from persian by mohammad
(dedicated to abass and zohreh)

for his neighbours, joe is only a neighbour. for his wife, only a
husband. and for every body else, he is only joe. you can
see him on the street. you can call him to help you finish
landscaping your garden. joe can landscape your garden.
for taking your groceries home, you can hire joe to carry the
bags and follow you. for having the house painted, you can
hire joe to do it for you. |

you can scream at him, but he keeps quiet. you can bitch
at him, but he keeps quiet. you can feed him the old lefto-
vers, he eats it, and keeps quiet. you think of him as a
sheep. he thinks of you as a wolf.

joe is a quiet man. on the street, he quietly stares at the
signs. in the sports arena, he quietly screams. in mourning,
he quietly cries. at home, if there is something for dinner, he
sits and quietly eats. and if not, he quietly beats up his wife.

joe is happy. he eats toast and coffee for dinner, as well as
for lunch, but he can start the day without breakfast. joe
believes that jam is really good for you, and believes that
these days good jam is hard to find.

wi doesn’t like the news. he doesn’t know that the books

eames punted for him...he only looks at the images. when he is
france, he only says :”really?” when he is

"Fold thar" reinere | is a lot happening in the world,” he doesn’t
Nout panic.

in joe’s household, no one is unemployed. his older son
works in a metal shop. joe is happy that his son’s job is useful
for the society. his younger son sells lottery tickets in a seven
eleven . joe is happy that his son’s job involves people’s for-
tune. his youngest son breaks windows of houses. joe says:
“this is another type of job,” and he beats him up.

joe has two daughters. one of them is old enough to do
anything. the other one is young enough to do nothing. he
plans to find good husbands for them. so does joe’s wife.
but the right guy always falls in love with daughters of their
neighbours.

once, joe got mad. he screamed in the middle of the street.

in the hospital, in the police station and in the neighbour-
hood, there was a rumour that his nervous breakdown was
because of the hot weather. joe wants to do it again on a
winter day.

joe lives in a big city. first, he slept on the street, behind his
hot dog vending machine. then, in the store where he found
a job. then he got married. and now, he sleeps in a small
apartment.

when joe tells his life stories, the children get excited and
wish for the same fate. their mother feeds them dinner and
sends them to bed. she often gets angry and keeps telling
joe: “what should i expect, you come from a small town.”
joe asks: “aren’t you yourself from a small town?”

she answers: “never, my dad was.”

é

on

PaaS a a

A a ea Cal
na

Editorial and layout responsibilities for this issue were somewhat reluc-
tantly taken on by Nickie Senger. To those who helped, thank you. To
those who didn’t, | wave my private parts at your auntie. | hope every-

‘one has a beautifully hot, money-making summer. Use your sunscreen

and we’ll see you next year. BYE-BYE!

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