THE ARCHITECT —AN INTELLECTUAL JOKE A young architect, Not really very brilliant, But astute enough to understand that to make a good living in a complex society composed of a predominantly middle class mentality, decided that to stand out from the crowd he must have a gimmick. He decided his specialty would be exactness. When he designed a building, he ordered nails by the amount not by the weight. He knew exactly how many nails would be needed to construct any building he designed. He knew exactly how many bricks would be needed, even how much electrical wire to within a 64th of an inch; how much cement; how much wood; paint and so on. He developed a reputation for this and since he could estimate costs so accurately his services were so much in demand. One day, while checking on a three story apartment, which his company had just finished, he found a brick lying beside the building. Since his client was coming to meet him, he knew, in order to protect his reputation, he must get rid_of the brick. What to do? What to do? So, he threw it up into the air. Foodstuff Where are you going to eat next year, when the facili- ties of VVI cafeteria are not at your disposal? What would you like to eat? A committee has been formed to investigate the possibilities, and since nothing has been decided at this time there is still an opportunity for your ideas to be heard. Under consideration is a proposal for microwave ovens to be available for student use. Also, from a company ultimately answerable to General Foods, a proposal to Operate a food service. Any party granted the right to operate this facility will be under many guidelines imposed by the college, such as reasonable food, reasonable price, reasonable hours, etc. If you have any ideas or suggestions you should contact student representatives — Bill Rummel or Bill Rennie — at the Pitt, or by leaving a note at the main office. Upcoming Events At Presentation House until March 30 “DA VINCI’ History tells us of no man more gifted than Leonardo da Vinci, painter, sculptor, architect, musician, engineer and natural philosopher. An exhibition designed to give a glimpse of Leonardo. Also at Presentation House till March lst — Anna Wyman Dance Theatre. “One of Canada’s most vital and essential artistic resources, whether it be dance or any other field.” — La Presse. Tickets are $6 and $4.50, from Eatons and VTC outlets. Chinese children’s art: selections from Luda muni- cipality, Liaoning province, People’s Republic of China. UBC Museum of Anthropology, February 27 — August 24, 1980. TOOLS TOOLS TOOLS TOOLS TOOLS TOOLS WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE TOOL AND WHY The Att ot Be pedi d Bet © wind iste encils - vensarilit, ICONS J Lomtee Words, raw, hand. for Ore IN WeSh roan + twond -~-Because pa if | Wyre ow what 1d do. YES, HANDS ARE Human TOOLS WHICH SURPASS ANY MECHANICA Su BSTITUTE | WORK FROM THE STUDENTS OF THE INTER- DISCIPLINARY STUDIES DEPARTMENT AT THE COLLEGE OF ART AT THE HELEN PITT GALLERY 163 WEST PENDER FROM FEBRUARY 19th THROUGH MARCH Ist NOON TO 5 P.M. OPENING RECEPTION MONDAY FEBRUARY 18th 8 P.M. Letters and articles for the newsletter may be dropped off in the main office of the school or at the Helen Pitt. Meetings for anyone interested in working on the news- letter are held in the office at the back of the Helen Pitt every Tuesday at noon. IMAGINATION LODGE They ‘re showing slides of the rapist’s paintings They’re certain their words are heaven bound The wind is blowing through the bleachers The circus is in town Here comes the glaring trickster The Fathers put him in a trance One eye looks over his shoulder The other stares at the plants And the workers they‘re chanting They colour by number the art history Gods As Emily and | look out tonight From Imagination Lodge. At the office the general’s waiting For his helicopter home Nobody’s seen him in three weeks He speaks to Cezanne on the telephone Downstairs strides busy Dracula There’s not a moment for him to waste Someone in the hallway has just removed The surgical mask from his face The compass is continually spinning Wherever roams the judge Who defines the strength of the new warriors In Imagination Lodge. Now the mothers are almost hidden The birds are beginning to hide The market betrayed their labour Each revolution was a lie Blindfolded with the golden fleece Are the superhuman crew Who know how to promote business By dividing one from two You can hear them approaching With talk of another bridge They'll use to control all the passages To Imagination Lodge. Into the school rushes the ambulance They're delivering a think tank with a plan An offer of cake and lemonade When you begin singing across the land Doctor Fluorescent he puts his shadow In alignment with the earth But all the daughters of the second wave Know what emerges from his mouth They all see the weapons And the restless hands must be dodged If they’re gonna stay very long In Imagination Lodge. Theyre reciting the secret contract The selfish wages the trumpets blow All the professors are so animated You can see them glow And the Marquis de Sade and Franz Katka Fighting in the government towers While weaving spiders laugh at them And digest the strategy papers At noon the phantom committee Decides the priest deserves a badge For disguising the tin factory As Imagination Lodge. Wooo de wooo de woo wa Wooo de wooo ba boooo0o Doo ba boo de beee baaaaa Beee ba beeeee oooweeeeeee Yes | received your invitation yesterday About the time the thunderstorm broke When you asked me would | play dead Was that some kind of joke All these dreams that you mention Yes | know them they’re just pain | had to examine all the connections And give them all another name Right now | can’t hear too good Don’t describe to me no reality of pink frogs Not unless you‘re gonna be of use At Imagination Lodge. Woooo woooo do woo waahhhhh Dee daa dee bee baa baaaaaaahhhh Bee ba booo ba dooo waaahhhhh Woooo0000 wooooo doo W000 WO00000 Wwoo00000000. @Gordon Moore / February 1980 THE ARCHITECT —AN INTELLECTUAL JOKE Ayyoung architect, ‘Not really very brilliant, But astute enough to understand that to make a good living in a complex society ‘composed of a predominantly middle class mentality, decided that to stand out from the crowd ‘he must have a gimmick. He decided his specialty would be exactness. When he designed a building, he ordered nails by the amount not by the weight. He knew exactly how many nails would be needed to construct ‘any building he designed. He knew exactly how many bricks would be needed, even ‘how much electrical wire to within a 64th of an inch; ‘how much cement; how much wood: paint and so on. He developed a reputation for this and since he could estimate costs so accurately his services were so much in demand. One day, while checking on a three story apartment, which his company had just finished, he found a brick ‘ving beside the building. Since his client was coming to meet him, he knew, in order 10 protect his reputation, he must get rid of the brick. ‘What to do? What to do? So, he threw it up into the ar. Foodstuff Where are you going to eat next year, when the facili ties of VVI cafeteria are not at your disposal? What would you like to eat? A committee has been formed to investigate the possibilities, and since nothing has been decided at this time there is still an opportunity for your ideas to be hheard. Under consideration is a proposal for microwave ‘ovens to be available for student use. Also, from a company ultimately answerable to General Foods, a. proposal to operate a food service. Any party granted the right to ‘operate this facility willbe under many guidelines imposed by the college, such as reasonable food, reasonable price, reasonable hours, etc. If you have any ideas or suggestions ‘you should contact student representatives — Bill Rummel ‘or Bill Rennie — at the Pitt, or by leaving a note at the main office. Upcoming Events jon House until March 30 ‘essential artistic resources, whether it be dance or any = La Presse. Tickets are $6 and $4.50, from Eatons and VTC outlets. Chinese children’s art: selections fom Luda muni