rie t of Intrigue Rob Reid — Chancellor Exchequer Maureen Wright — Uncommoner ber bop ree bob Je By Emily Dear Emily, Everytime | go to school to work on my picture, | get this ‘deja vu’ feeling that | am in the hall walking towards the room I’m in. It’s crazy because | never make it to the room and the sensation continues in recurring episodes. When will | be where | am? Student Dear Student: Are you sure you know where you are? RHR IE OR RE He a Ee Oe Dear Emily: Many times I’ve gone to the workshops, | have lost one of my shoes off my feet. | never take my shoes off so | can’t understand how it happens. When | talked to my instruc- tor about this problem, he just said he didn’t like my shoes anyways. Should | get new shoes? Confused Dear Confused: Workshop situations are often difficult environments. Do you always lose the shoe from the same foot? If not, maybe you can pair the two odds together? fy Re tee SO SS ee Ge TS ek, ee See ene ie ee Jeet Seek See Dear Emily: There are many books in the library that | am dying to read. These books are in the reserve section so can’t be taken out of the library. But, reading in the library is usually impossible for me because the smell of the xerox machine in use drives me hairy! What can | do? Frustrated Dear Frustrated: Spin a web surrounding the librarian to the xerox ma- chine, then steal the library books. Editor’s note: Due to the recent kidnapping of this col- umnist’s name, this is her last column until further notice. Performing Directors Ronald Sandor and Rob Reid are responsible for only the sublime in this newsletter. Contributing Reporters are Kate Hemenway, David Wight, Jim Glen and Maureen Wight. Present Tensed We match watches You watch matches They watch watches I watch watches You match watches He matches matches She watches matches We are watching watches You are watching matches They are watching watches I am watching matches You are matching watches He is watching watches She is matching watches I seem to be watching watches We seem to be watching watches You seem to be matching watches He seems to be matching matches She seems to be watching matches BEHIND CLOSED DOORS Intrigue in the life of a Doorknob The following interview concerns the doorknob who has become an important member of the third student council. He is questioned by Ed Sel, another council member who has recently found new life in the used car lots of our political consciousness. Ed Sel: | must admit that it is a new experience in my life to interview a doorknob, but it sincerely is something that I’ve always wanted to do. | mean, how does it feel to be a doorknob, that is you must be subject to a multitude of comings and goings. Well, that is true, | pass through many hands, some warm, some cold, some dry and some sticky, but most of the time it is a pretty lonely existence, no one pays much attention to me you know. Why do you think that would be, Door- knob? Doorknob: Ea Sel: Ed Sel — Co-Public Relations Co-ordinator You seem to be watching matches They seem to be matching watches Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: ‘out. Lamb Chop — Co-Public Relations Co-ordinator It’s a matter of gratitude, Ed. | can open many doors to new experiences, but every- one takes me for granted. | want people reading this interview to realize that, after all, without me you’d never be able to leave your room in the morning. | can sympathize with your feelings. For many years | was rejected, considered as untouchable. | don’t think you could really consider me to be untouchable. That is certainly true! (general laughter) But, what other problems does a doorknob encounter? Well, for one thing we often get locked up inside ourselves and tend to shut people That’s when we really get roughly handled. It isn’t easy, Ed. It couldn’t be all that bad Doorknob, you must be able to get your kicks somehow. Oh certainly, certainly, we've all got to be able to turn around, if we couldn’t do that, what good would our existence be? Sure we can get uptight sometimes but when we’re loose we just get down and shake. Anyway Doorknob, maybe we should get down to more pertinent questions. How did you get elected to the student council? Actually, it was just a matter of being in the right place at the right time, you know, being a doorknob to the washroom of the Helen Pitt Gallery and all, it’s hard not to get involved. What do you feel you can accomplish now that you belong to the council? | think that my best function would be to serve as a watchknob, Ed. You don’t mean to tell me that you are entertaining ideas of becoming a spy? I'd rather not comment about that at this point in time. Well at least tell me one last thing. What do you think the council should look out for? I’m tellin’ you Ed, the best thing they can do is to keep their hands clean! b | ne tof Intrigue Rob Reid — Chancellor of the Exchequer ‘Maureen Wright — Uncommoner ber Lopra- rec bob. 3 By Emily Dear Emily, Everytime | go to school to work on my picture, | get this ‘deja vu' feeling that | am in the hall walking towards the room I'm in. It's erazy because | never make it to the room and the sensation continues in recurring episodes. When wil | be where | arm? Student Dear Student: ‘Are you sure you know where you are? Dear Emily: Many times I've gone to the workshops, | have lost one of my shoes off my feet. | never take my shoes off so | can’t understand how it happens. When | talked to my instruc tor about this problem, he just said he didn’t like my shoes anyways. Should I get new shoes? Confused, Dear Confused: Workshop situations are often difficult environments. Do you always lose the shoe from the same foot? If not, maybe you can pair the two odds together? Dear Emily: There are many books in the library that | am dying to read. These books are in the reserve section so can’t be taken out of the library. But, reading in the library is tsually impossible for me because the smell of the xerox machine in use drives me hairy! What can | do? Frustrated Dear Frustrated: Spin a web surrounding the librarian to the xerox ma- ‘chine, then steal the library books. Editor's note: Due to the recent kidnapping of this col umnist’s name, this is her last column until further notice. ‘eroring Detors Ronald Sandor ahd Rob Reid ar response jor only the sublime in this newsteter. Contributing Reporters fre Kate Hemenway, Devid Wight, Jim Glen and Maureen Wight. Present Tensed They watch watches ‘She watches matehes om watching matches ‘Sheiematehing stones {You sem to be matching watches You seem fo be watching matches Hescems to'be matching matches They seem t0 be matching watches She seems tobe watching matches BEHIND CLOSED DOORS Intrigue in the life of a Doorknob ‘The following interview concerns the doorknob who has become an important member of the third student ‘council. He is questioned by Ed Sel, another council member who has recently found new life in the used car lots of our political consciousness. Ed Sel: 1 must admit that itis @ new experience in my life to interview a doorknob, but it iceraly is something that I've always wanted to do. I mean, how does it feel to be a doorknob, that is you must be subject to a multitude of comings and goings. Well, that is true, 1 pass through many hands, some warm, some cold, some dry and some sticky, but most of the time itis a pretty lonely existence, no one pays ‘much attention to me you know. Why do you think that would be, Door- knob? Doorknob: Ec Sel: Ed Sel — Co-Publie Relations Co-ordinator Doorknob: Ed Sel Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: Ed Sel: Doorknob: It’s a matter of gratitude, Ed. 1 can open ‘many doors to new experiences, but every: fone takes me for granted. 1 want people reading this interview to realize that, aftor all, without me you'd never be able to leave your room in the morning. 1 can sympathize with your feolings. For many years | was rejected, considered a untouchable. 1 don’t think you could really consider ime to be untouchable. Thats certainly true! (general laughter) But, what other problems does a doorknob encounter? Well, for one thing we often get locked up inside ourselves and tond to shut people ‘out, That's when we really get roughly hhandled. It isn’t easy, Ed It couldn’t be all that bad Doorknob, you ‘must be able to get your kicks somehow. Oh certainly, certainly, we've all got to be ‘able to turn around, if we couldn't do that, ‘what good would our existence be? Sure we can get uptight sometimes but when we're loose we just get down and shake. ‘Anyway Doorknob, maybe we should get down to more pertinent questions. How did you got elected to the student council? ‘Actually, it was just a matter of boing in ‘the right place at the right time, you know, bbeing a doorknob to the washroom of the Helen Pitt Gallery and all, it’s hard not to get involved. What do you feel you can accomplish now ‘that you belong to the council? | think that my best function would be to sorve as a watchknob, Ed. You don’t mean to toll me that you are ‘entertaining ideas of becoming a spy? 'd rather not comment about that at this point in time. Well at least tell me one last thing. What do you think the council should look out for? I'm tellin’ you Ed, the best thing they ean do is to keop their hands clean! | ‘Lamb Chop ~ Co-Publie Relations Co-ordinator