he

LO;

eles

alyeae

Your favourite book is: ae
t) Thus Spake Zarathustra (Freidrich Nietzsche)
u) Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (James Joyce)
w) Painting Made Easy the Weans - Binkley Way
(Q.W. Weans-Binkley)
v) The Cat in the Hat (Dr. Seuss)

Inre* 1S

1) a bowl of cherries
1) a chair for bowlers
*) a whole bunch of fun

You would most like to meet:

2) Vincent Van Gogh (sorry, he died)
Q) Andy Warhol

)) Pilastino

() Mark Spitz

ui ) me " ™

You dive in:

d) a garret

d) a basement suite

d) a converted warehouse

d) keefer rooms

d) your parents' spare bedroom

d) a box under the south end of the Burrard Street
Bridge —

a) a green Glad garbage bag

d) a used orange Bargain Brand garbage bag

d) Saskatoon

Te has

d) cockroaches

o) a leaky roof

fe) a toilet that doesn*t flush

hye no toilet

e) no water, no heating, no electri:
a) none of the above

d) «mice

‘aid

ou were born with:

te) Peumibeee

4) a silver spoon in your mouth
¥.) a silver spoon up your nose
%) a silver spoon up your bum
Ve) oe Gh) Suntan

—_—— -

13. Your friends think you are:

ere p) fascinating

i) balding

g) a genius

ad) a good cook

o) making this up

KEY: For each question you answered correctly, give your-
self one point, and eight points for each wrong answer,
then add up your total.

Now, if your total is 3 or less, OR| if you circled’ eon
the first 9 questions and d on the rest, or if you painted
this quiz orange and hung it up on the wall, you are a REAL
ARTIST!!! You are therefore entitled to starve be miserable
and rude, act like a frustrated exhibitionist, and commit
suicide! CONGRADULATIONS! However, if you don't qualify,
do not despair. You may be only an art student (a.k.a.
bogus artist), but you can still ride a tricycle through
Asia and discover yourself.

BONUS!! In this issue only a FREE evaluation of your

COMPREHENSION OF MODERN ARTISTIC CONCEPTS! !

Instructions: Place an X (important do no circle) beside
one of the following answers. Send yours in today and you
will receive, regardless of your answer, a MODERN ART
DIPLOMA, enabling you to TEACH MODERN ART SURVEY AT ANY ART
COLLEGE IN VANCOUVER!!!!!
My dog is:

a) better than your dog

b) worse than your dog

c) neither better nor worse than your dog. Must we
always place a value scale on everything? Can't
the two dogs just co-exist as seperate entities
in the universe of life?

ad) ‘Not really a dog, but a chicken in a dog suit

e) Not a dog (see Maigritte's "Ceci n'est pas une
pipe?"')

f) uglier than your dog

g) peeing on your shoes

-DAT
Te

8.

9.

10.

i,

12.

Your favourite book i
t) Thus Spake Zarathustra (Freidrich Nietzsche)
u) Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (James Joyce)
w) Painting Made Easy the Weans - Binkley Way

(Q.W. Weans-Binkley)
v) The Cat in the Hat (Dr. Seuss)

Life i
1) a bowl of cherries

1) a chair for bowlers
+) a whole bunch of fun

You would most like to meet:

2) Vincent Van Gogh (sorry, he died)
Q) Andy Warhol

)) Plastino

() Mark Spitz

2) we Bic

You live in:

d) a garret

d) a basement suite

d) a converted warehouse

d) keefer rooms

d) your parents' spare bedroom

d) @ box under the south end of the Burrard Street
Bridge

a) a green Glad garbage bag

d) a used orange Bargain Brand garbage bag

d) Saskatoon

It has:

d) cockroaches

0) a leaky roof

&) a toilet that doesn't flush

h) no toilet

e) no water, no heating, no electric
a) none of the above

d) mice

x

‘ou
i)
bs)
%) a
)
)

we

e born with:
un fare

in your mouth
up your nose
a silver spoon up your bum

a@ suntan

z p) fascinating
i) balding
g) a genius
d) a good cook
o) making this up

KEY: For each question you answered correctly, give your-
self one point, and eight points for each wrong answer,
then add up your total.

Now, if your total is 3 or less, OR if you circled e on

the first 9 questions and d on the rest, or if you painted
this quiz orange and hung it up on the wall, you are a REAL
ARTIST!!! You are therefore entitled to starve be miserable
and rude, act like a frustrated exhibitionist, and commit
suicide! CONGRADULATIONS! However, if you don't qualify,
do not despair. You may be only an art student (a.k.a.
bogus artist), but you can still ride a tricycle through
Asia and discover yourself.

BONUS!! In this issue only a FREE evaluation of your

COMPREHENSION OF MODERN ARTISTIC CONCEPTS! !

Instructions: Place an X (important do no circle) beside

one of the following answers. Send yours in today and you
will receive, regardless of your answer, a MODERN ART
DIPLOMA, enabling you to TEACH MODERN ART SURVEY AT ANY ART
COLLEGE IN VANCOUVER! !!!!

My dog is:

a) better than your dog

b) worse than your dog

c) neither better nor worse than your dog. Must we
always place a value scale on everything? Can't
the two dogs just co-exist as seperate entities
in the universe of life?

a) Not really a dog, but a chicken in a dog suit

e) Not a dog (see Maigritte's "Ceci n'est pas une
pipe?")

f) uglier than your dog

@) peeing on your shoes

-DAT