PULL LEB BARS Last Friday, after a strenuous week of “making art’, I decided it was time to go out on the town. It was either that or sit at home and contemplate becoming a furniture salesman. : Now to begin with, it has always amazed me that in this universe, in a particular solar system, on a particular planet on a particular day of the week, at particular hours of the night, humans would conglomerate in a small smokey room to gyrate to sound vibrations. Looking for Mr. or Ms. Goodbar, however, went out with the seventies, seeing that sex is out and celibacy and AIDS are in. Because of this loss of goal (sex), I’ ve noticed that bars are suffering. More and more people are opting to stay home and contemplate furniture salesmanship than go out, have fun, and catch a communicable disease. Bars now have to invent gimmicks to bring in the lush crowd. Some are truly creative. - One bar gives out tickets with numbers at the door, and then calls out numbers during the evening for cash prizes. It’s sort of a bar/ game show combination. Another bar has resorted to Mardi Gras parties where people get to wear funny hats while sipping tequila sunrises or gin tonics. I mean, one can learn a lot about a person from the hat they wear. My favorite club is the pack-your-bags- and-you-might-be-in-Hawaii-this-weekend bar. Now the idea is you pack your luggage full and bring your passport, and two happy people will win a prize to be flown to Hawaii that evening. I love watching the other people who didn’t win, lugging their suitcases around the bar the rest of the night. The best was on the news a few weeks ago. It was a piece about Safeway supermarkets that hold Singles Nights. It seems that the food store opens up it’s deli bar and serves beverages. A dance floor is available and male-female grocery games are played. It’s reported to be a huge success. This is surely an example of true creative thinking. Bars are offering more produce, and produce stores are offering more bars. The days of multi media are here at last. I mean, isn’t it better than before when one went out to hunt for a mere few minutes of squirming and gasps? Jerry Stochansky & MUSIC Swamp of Love isn’t an old scratched up Cramps record. “Blast Off!” to the Montreal duo’s new compilation of the worst and fairest of rockabilly, blues, and voodoo music. Gerhard Van Herk and Tony Dewald (enunciate with Dutch accent) rely heavily on a military drum rap, morose slurred vocals, grinding blues guitar, and infrequent squelches of inaudible rockabilly. The LP closely resembles works of Ted Milton from London’s Blurt and Canned Heat fans might enjoy this This 1986 release accompanies a variety Jin-me Yoon of other Montreal garage-style bands on the independant Og Music label. The album is a fine example of consistency in recording and performance. It isn’t until the sixth track on the first side that it becomes apparent that the next sixteen tracks will ‘sound pretty much the same as the first six. The 22-song album could in fact be an improvement on their 1984 release Cemetery, but who knows? There is definitely some impressionistic music in Swamp of Love, but it gets lost in the fusion of monotony. Irwin Oostindie Looe 2 8 oe ee Planet of the Arts Page 11 = mz The Good Wife See Rebbeca Rebecca is a country doctor and housewife. Work, Rebecca, work. See Sonny. Sonny is Rebbeca’s husband. He is a lumberjack. Chop, Sonny, chop. See Sugar. Sugar is Sonny’s brother. Sugar is also a lumberjack but he cries a lot. Cry, Sugar, cry. Rebbeca wants adventure. See Sugar move in with Sonny and Rebbeca See Sugar sleep with Rebbeca. Does Sonny know this? Of course he does — he gave Rebbeca permission. Now see Sonny fume. Fume, Sonny, fume. See Neville. He is the new bartender from the Big City. See Neville attack Rebbeca. See Rebbeca put up token resistance. No, Neville, no. Well, okay. Neville is interrupted and they go their separate ways. See Neville screw every woman in town. Screw, Neville, screw. See Rebbeca become obsessed with Neville. Lust, Rebecca, lust. See Neville ignore Rebbeca. It doesn’t do any good. Fuming, screwing and yearning. If this is what the Australian New Wave has come to, give me Mad Max anyday. Let’s face it, this film would have been a treat as a romantic comedy but as a dramatic work it falls flat on it’s face. It starts to pick up near the end but that is mostly due to cross-cutting with parallel action. The actors do the best they can with the dialogue but it’s so stilted that . you wouldn’t even find some of the lines in live theatre. The Good Wife is better than a soap opera but that is more due to the cinematography than the story. At leat the Aussies can still take good pictures, even if they can’t write. good stories anymore. My advice is to save this one for a $2.50 Tuesday. Martin Stein @ FEAT FIRE EET a) SPOKE 16 71S AION Bit6 the thin 4s you Ste when yeu don't have a’ gun Earl’s Dark Side | Who could be e didv? No, Ldidint burn doing hie? your encyclopedias I’m your evil twin | brother , Ear. NN \) 4 Sean la "BF we must Fight tothe death! oe fo Choose your TUTTE BARS Last Friday, aftera strenuous week of and contemplate becon salesman, Now to begin with, it has al me that in this universe, in a particular solar system, on a particular planet on a particular day of the week, at particular hours of the night, humans would conglomerate in a small smokey room to gyrate to sound vibrations. Looking for Mr. or Ms. Goodbar, however, went out with the seventies, seeing Bars now have to inve inthe lush crowd. Som ‘One bar gives out tcl the evening for cash prizes. It's sort of a ‘game show combination. Another bar has resorted to Mardi Gras parties where people get to wear funny hats while sipping tequila sunrises or gin tonies. I mean, one can learn alot about a person from the hat they wear. ‘My favorite club isthe pack-your-bags- and-you-might-be-in-Hawaii-th bar. Now the idea is you pack your Iu full and bring your passport, and two happy people will win a prize tobe flown to Hawaii that evening. [love watching the other people who didn’t win, lugging their suitcases around the bar the rest ofthe night. ‘The best was on the news a few weeks ago. Itwas a piece about Safeway supermarkets that hold Singles Nights. It seems thatthe food store opens up it's deli bar and serves beverages. A dance floor is available and male-female grocery games are played. It's reported to be a huge success. This is surely an example of true creative thinking. Bars are offering more produce, and produce stores are offering more bars. ‘The days of multi media are here at last. 1 ‘mean, isn't it better than before when one went Out to hunt for a mere few minutes of squirming and gasps? Jerry Stochansky = MUSIC ‘Swamp of Love isn't an old scratched up Cramps record last Off!” to the Montreal duo's new compilation of the worst and fairest of rockabilly, blues, and voodoo music. Gerhard Van Herk and Tony Dewald (enunciate with Dutch accent) rly heavily ‘on a military drum rap, morose slurred vocals, grinding blues guitar, and infrequent squelches of inaudible rockabilly ‘The LP closely resembles works of Ted Milton from London's Blurt and Canned Heat fans might enjoy this This 1986 release accompanies a variety of other Montreal garage-style bands on the independant Og Music label ‘The album is fine example of consistency in recording and performance. It isn’t until the sixth track onthe first side that it becomes ‘apparent that the next sixteen tracks will sound pretty much the same as the first six. The 22-song album could in fact be an improvement on their 1984 release Cemetery, but who knows? There is definitely some impressionistic music in ‘Swamp of Love, but it gets lost in the fusion of monotony. Irwin Oostindie The Good Wife See Rebbeca Rebecca is a country doctor and housewife. Work, Rebecca, work: See Sonny ‘Sonny is Rebbeca's husband, Sugar is Sonny's brother also a lumberjack but he cries alot. Rebeca wants adventure sar move in with Sonny and Rebbeca ar sleep with Rebbeca, Does Sonny know this? Of course he does —he gave Rebbeca permission Now see Sonny fume. e, Sonny, fume. ville the new bartender from the Big City ville attack Rebbeca. See Rebbeca put up token resistance. No, Neville, no. Well, okay Neville is interrupted and they go their separate ways, ‘See Neville screw every woman in town, Screw, Neville, screw 2e Rebbeca become obsessed with Neville i doesn't do any good. Fuming, screwing and yearning. If this is ‘what the Australian New Wave has come to, give me Mad Max anyday. Let’s face it, this, film would have been a treat as a romantic. comedy but as a dramatic work it falls lat ‘on it's face. It start to pick up near the end ‘but that is mostly due to cross-cutting with parallel action. The actors do the best they ‘can with the dialogue but its so stilted that you wouldn't even find some of the lines in live theatre. The Good Wife is better than a soap opera but that is more due to the cinematography than the story. At leat the can still take good pictures, even if they can’t write ‘good stories anymore. My advice is o save this one for a $2.50 Tuesday. Martin Stein gar 03 SNE - “y he things you see hen Yea et he ayn Earl’s Dark Side Sean The meson BF a, Ididv’t burn] | Who could by Eo ea doing. this? your encelopedia [Pm your evil twin ieee g | [oe must Fight tothe death!