10

@

thing he has written in this book (I can't overstate this enough). It turned me on to some great ideas but —
turned me off of other less thoughtful ones. | did have the opportunity to meet with him in person and
interview him in preparation for this article, to find out where he is coming from.

| think my main drive for writing this article is my own feelings relating to my life, training, and
education. | share an experience common to many people, that of feeling trapped by certain ideological
forces; whether it be by religion, the media, educational systems, consumer capitalism, or the like. | have
found that there are not enough positive representations of how men are or can be. There are systems.
functioning to "keep people in their place". | will try and explain some of the factors involved in male
gender socialization, or how we are trained to be men. :

Power is complex; it can mean so many different things to so many different people. | don't
believe power is your income bracket, | believe it is the amount of time you spend with loved ones. |
don't believe power is obligation, | believe it is inspiration. Essentially power, fora woman or for aman,
‘comes down to choice. Historically, gender socialization robbed both men and-women of the chance to.”
choose which roles they wanted to take in life. Men have primarily raised the money and-women have .
primarily raised the children. People could not choose alternate roles because of economic sexual discrim-
ination and heavy social taboos. Survival depended on things being that way, because people had accept:
ed the inequality and perceived their roles as necessary. Patterning in this manner just entrenched women
and men further into their roles, where they were tricked to feel powerful and self-complacent. Women
and men have both been subjected to a lack of choice. Times have changed. This is no longer acceptable
to many people today. What previously was accepted as functional is being reexamined, and-for many
now is considered dysfunctional. Feminist critique combined with thoughtful action has allowed women
the opportunity to question their participation in traditional roles, be it feminine or masculine. Men have
not as openly questioned their own confinement to gender specific roles. Here are some reasons why.

Males are socialized to "take one for the team", whether by being trained in areas of history,
athletics, family, or media. Toy guns, cops & robbers, role playing games, video games, wrestling, fire-
crackers, aggressive sports, G.I. Joe, He-Man, sound familiar? All of these common experiences teach us
how to be men. We haze each other with direct insults, physical abuse, and general insensitivity. The
abuse we are taught to dish out is supposed to thicken our skin and weed out the weak. We are condi-
tioned to think that by accepting forms of abuse we are becoming more lovable. The truck driver, coal
miner, logger, construction worker, cop, garbage collector, doctor, physicist, soldier, engineer, fire fighter,
or lawyer, are but some of the classic examples of male jobs. These jobs ask for major personal sacrifices.
The risks associated with these jobs give more pay, but frequently lead to an earlier death. In doing this
training we have learned to take jobs that maybe we don't like as much, in order to earn more. And the
more we earn, the more lovable ( or deserving as a prospective husband) we will be, right? These were
just some of the mechanisms used in pumping out durable, complaint-free workers. Competition, domi-
nance, hierarchy, order, and other such beliefs instilled separation from the pack, and made men join

~- another pack. Men are joining "The Death Professions: Men's Biggest ‘Glass Cellar’ [in which] 94 percent

of occupational deaths occur to men."2

As men we've all been taught to have and be heroes. Maybe a war hero? Jesus? A football
hero? A comic book hero? Our Dads? Or a combination of these archetypes. Heroes are given acclaim,
and for good reason, for they serve their community. But this protection usually comes at the physical
expense of the person fulfilling that role. This conjures images of men trying to be. the hero of their fami-
ly, by economically supporting everyone and working themselves to death. The root of the word hero has
many different and very similar beginnings. The current English language has a convoluted history that
amalgamates Latin, Greek, Sanskrit, Germanic, and many other tongues. | won't delve further into this
history, save to say etymological history says...

SER-1, to protect, whence L servare, ... Gk relative is the HERO who -- in theory--protected
the people. [Latin SERVUS, slave, whence SERVE, SERVICE, SERVILE ("slave like"), SERVI-
TUDE, and DESERVE (originally = become entitled to, as through faithful service).}3

As the "homemaker" ( classically a woman's job) is frequently labeled as a type of enslavement,
the "bread winner" ( classically a man’s job) too can be a slave's trade. Everyone is viewed as working for
aman or "The Man", so men get pigeon-holed into these dominant molds. Men work for women and
women. work for‘men. | realize they weren't allowed into each others’ roles, or maybe didn't want them,
but now society needs to educate men to view both roles as accessible and acceptable opportunities. | for
@

thing he has written in this book (I can't overstate this enough). It turned me on to some great ideas but
turned me off of other less thoughtful ones. | did have the opportunity to meet with him in person and
interview him in preparation for this article, to find out where he is coming from.

| think my main drive for writing this article is my own feelings relating to my life, training, and
education. | share an experience common to many people, that of feeling trapped by certain ideological
forces; whether it be by religion, the media, educational systems, consumer capitalism, or the like. | have
found that there are not enough positive representations of how men are or can be. There are systems
functioning to "keep people in their place". | will try and explain some of the factors involved in male
‘gender socialization, or how we are trained to be men:

Power is complex; it can mean so many different things to so many different people. t don’t
believe power is your income bracket, | believe itis the amount of time you spend with loved ones. |
don't believe power is obligation, | believe itis inspiration. Essentially power, for a woman or for aman,
‘comes down to choice. Historically, gender socialization robbed both men and women of the chance to.
‘choose which roles they wanted to take in life. Men have primarily raised the money and;women have
primarily raised the children. People could not choose alternate roles because of economic sexual discrim:
ination and heavy social taboos. Survival depended on things being that way, because people had accept
ed the inequality and perceived their roles as necessary. Patterning in this manner just entrenched women
and men further into their roles, where they were tricked to feel powerful and self-complacent. Women
and men have both been subjected to a lack of choice. Times have changed. This is no longer acceptable
to many people today. What previously was accepted as functional is being reexamined, and for many
‘how is considered dysfunctional. Feminist critique combined with thoughtful action has allowed women
the opportunity to question their participation in traditional roles, be it feminine or masculine. Men have
Not as openly questioned their own confinement to gender specific roles. Here are some reasons why.

Males are socialized to "take one for the team", whether by being trained in areas of history,
athletics, family, or media. Toy guns, cops & robbers, role playing games, video games, wrestling, fire-
crackers, aggressive sports, G.I. Joe, He-Man, sound familiar? All of these common experiences teach us
how to be men. We haze each other with direct insults, physical abuse, and general insensitivity: The
abuse we are taught to dish out is supposed to thicken our skin and weed out the weak. We are condi-
tioned to think that by accepting forms of abuse we are becoming more lovable. The truck driver, coal
‘miner, logger, construction worker, cop, garbage collector, doctor, physicist, soldier, engineer, fire fighter,
or lawyer, are but some of the classic examples of male jobs. These jobs ask for major personal sacrifices.
The risks associated with these jobs give more pay, but frequently lead to an earlier death. in doing this
training we have leaned to take jobs that maybe we don't like as much, in order to earn more. And the
more we earn, the more lovable ( or deserving as a prospective husband) we will be, right? These were
just some of the mechanisms used in pumping out durable, complaint-free workers. Competition, domi-
‘nance, hierarchy, order, and other such beliefs instilled separation from the pack, and made men join
another pack. Men are joining "The Death Professions: Men's Biggest ‘Glass Cellar’ {in which] 94 percent
of occupational deaths occur to men.*2

‘As men we've all been taught to have and be heroes. Maybe a war hero? Jesus? A football
hero? A comic book hero? Our Dads? Or a combination of these archetypes. Heroes are given acclaim,
{and for good reason, for they serve their community. But this protection usually comes at the physical
expense of the person fulfilling that role, This conjures images of men trying to be the hero of their fami-
ly, by economically supporting everyone and working themselves to death. The root of the word hero has
‘many different and very similar beginnings. The current English language has a convoluted history that.
amalgamates Latin, Greek, Sanskrit, Germanic, and many other tongues. | won't delve further into this
history, save to say etymological history says...

SER-1, to protect, whence L servare, ... Gk relative is the HERO who -- in theory--protected
the people. [Latin SERVUS, slave, whence SERVE, SERVICE, SERVILE ("slave like"), SERVI-
TUDE, and DESERVE (originally = become entitled to, as through faithful service).}8

As the "homemaker" ( classically a woman's job) is frequently labeled as a type of enslavement,
the “bread winner” ( classically a man's job) too can be a slave's trade. Everyone is viewed as working for
‘aman or "The Man”, so men get pigeon-holed into these dominant molds. Men work for women and
women work formen. | realize they weren't allowed into each others’ roles, or maybe didn't want them,
bbut now society needs to educate men to view both roles as accessible and acceptable opportunities, | for