The Shape of Me:
Design as a site for Self Realization through
Embodied Practices of Observation, Making and Performance

Wuchen Zhang

A reflective documentation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of Master of Design at Emily Carr University of Art + Design
© Wuchen Zhang, 2020

Abstract
We all experience various changes and uncertainties in our lives in both positive and
negative ways. This thesis validates different fields of study, interests and lived experience. The
Chinese Daoist concept of Zi Ran, a transcultural identity, and an interest in Japanese culture,
inform a series of design actions that apply embodied practices of observation, making and
performance. This mix of design actions, informed by a particular lived experience, are used to
consider western discursive and ontological design theory as well as ArturoEscobar’s call for a
pluriverse of design. The Communication Studies term thin-slicing is developed in relation to time
and as a means to sort through and validate how past and present personal experiences inform
the intuitive actions of a designer. Means for transcultural identity and different cultural
perspectives to be applied to approaches and concerns in the design field are explored. This
body of work upholds the uniqueness of life experiences as a key contributor to designers and
their designs/design(ing). Overall, the intent is to share and validate what others of different
experience and non western backgrounds have to offer.

Keywords
transcultural identity, Daoism, Zi Ran, cultural appropriation, identity recognition,
thin-slicing, discursive design, ontological design, intuition/intuitive

2

Acknowledgements
Hélène Day Fraser, my supervisor, for her generous words and patience with me and my
research. With her help, I understood my unique self in design and was wisely led, through
critique and advice, from a stage of unfamiliarity to one of comfort and acceptance.
Keith Doyle for uncovering the hidden characteristics of my design making; and later for
offering me insights that lead to some critical changes for this research.
The individuals who taught me courses over the last two years of design studies. Thank you
for all the suggestions offered to me.
Special thanks to my parents, who have supported me in completing my master's studies.
Thank you for listening to me while I am stressed.
Fellow design candidates for idea exchange and critical space created.
Also my friend Kenta Oda for offering me help with the Japanese language and travel to
Japan.

Last of all, I have to thank the lovely people I met during these two years of research.

The old Japanese lady in the subway station; the lady I met in Vancouver who complimented my
Yukata outfit; and my Japanese friends who helped me during my trips to Japan and while I
worked on my many on my design actions. Through these people, I have been able to better
experience and understand a new culture. One that I am think I will continue to study and
immersed in well into the future.

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Glossary
Ontological Design - As defined by Anne-MarieWillis (2006), “Ontological designing is a way of
characterising the relation between human beings and lifeworlds.”
Discursive Design - As defined by Bruce M. Tharp and Stephanie M. Tharp (2013), “Discursive
design refers to the creation of utilitarian objects/services/interactions whose primary purpose is to
communicate ideas—artifacts embedded with discourse.”
Transcultural identity - As defined by Christin-Melanie Vauclair et al. (2014) in Transcultural Identity
The Future Self in a Globalized World, “Individuals who have grown up under the exposure of two
cultures may develop a bicultural identity.” The study also mentioned “transculturalism can be seen
as an extension of biculturalism in that it refers to individuals with multicultural experiences.” A person
who has a transcultural identity “does not have to be raised in two cultures since birth.”
Thin-Slicing - Originally derived from the field of psychology. As defined by Mark Andrejevic (2013),
“Thin-slicing is referring to the idea of as human beings we are capable of making sense of situations
based on the thinnest slice of experience.”
Uncertainty - As defined by Yoko Akama (2020), “Uncertainty is a field of study that aims to address
the particularity of change and crisis theoretically, but not interventionally. It is also a viable element of
ways of knowing.”
Intuitive - The dictionary definition notes that intuitive refers to being used or based on what one
feels to be true without conscious reasoning.
Ryokan - Ryokan is a traditional Japanese style hotel. The western style hotel is called Hoteru in
Japanese.
Maiko - A Maiko is a traditional Japanese female performer whose job is to sing, dance, and play
the Samisenn (a traditional Japanese instrument with three strings). Maikos are apprentices who later
become Geisha.

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Preface
I was born and raised in China. At the age of fifteen I moved on my own to study in North America.
Over time, in this foreign context, I gradually became drawn to Japanese culture. My personal affinity with
Japan is situated within a period of time made up of many official cultural exchanges between China and
Japan. Chinese - Japanese relations during this time (1970-2019) have not, however, been entirely
smooth.1 This thesis draws on my lived experience of circling away from East Asia to the Western cultural
context and back again. My life experiences act as one of the essential pieces of my research. Coming to
Design from an undergraduate background in Communication Studies and Art practices I applied familiar,
learnt methods of observing and making throughout my Masters studies. As an individual with a relatively
sensitive personality I am often confronted by uncertainty both in my everyday life and my practices of
making.
I am deeply interested in design and the research of this field. I came to Emily Carr University of Art +
Design with the intention of studying textile design, two years later, I no longer find myself concentrating on
the design of textiles. Rather, I have come to the realization that I have consistently used textiles (among
other things) as a tool to explore design theory and its connections to Asian philosophy and lived
perspectives. Exploring design theory and (a) state of being2 has helped me rationalize and understand
that my creative practice always draws on cultural contexts and my own personal experiences.

1 Jin, Xide, Making New Partnership: A Rising China and Its Neighbors, ed. Zhang, Yunling, vol. 2 (Beijing;

Reading: Social Sciences Academic Press; Paths International, 2011), 24-26.
2 State of being: speaks explicitly about the state of being for both humans and the everyday objects

around humans.

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Table of Contents

Abstract

2

Keywords

2

Acknowledgement

3

Glossary

4

Preface

5

Table of Content

6

Introduction: Informed by Identity

7

Beginning to Frame the work

10

Cultural Legacy (Philosophy)

10

Lived Reality (Transcultural Experience)

10

New/Unexpected Situations (COVID19)

11

Grounding

12
Chinese Philosophical Daoism of Zi Ran

12

Thin-Slicing of Time

16

Sorting Things Out

18

⾃然 Thin-Slicing Related to Environments We Find Ourselves In …

19

⾃然⽽然 Thin-Slicing Related the Circumstances That Influence Us

21

⾃在⽽然 Thin-Slicing and Finding the Rhythm of Oneself

38

Conclusion

59

Bibliography

61

Appendix

65

Introduction: Informed by Identity
The Shape of Me: Design as a site for Self-Realization through Embodied Practices of Observation,
Making and Performance details an individualistic practice of catching the shadow of the past to inform
and apply identity construction to an ever-changing global society. Shadows of the past and identity
construction are a lens to consider transcultural identity and Chinese philosophical perspective applied to
design theory. Past experience and current context work together to inform intuitive acts (of observation,
making and performance). The work described below, which can be thought of as thin-slicing of time,
provides a framework that has helped me to sort and better understand how past and present experiences
inform my intuitive actions.
I was born and grew up in Xi’an, China. One month after my fifteenth birthday, I moved on my own to
the United States of America to study abroad. For the past ten years, I have moved around North America
with the official status of a temporary resident in both the United States and Canada. My sense of identity
has shifted and my experiences have been marked by this. During this time, I have experienced some
unpleasant situations connected to this label of temporary. At the age of seventeen, two years after arriving
to study in the United States, I was socially isolated and shunned by a group of Chinese students who
were new to the high school I attended. At the time, I blamed myself for not being friends with those
students. I thought the reason that they did not like me was because of my personality. This situation
marked me. I became particularly sensitive and began avoiding other Chinese people my age. When faced
with the opportunity to attend a university known for having a small population of Chinese (and Asian)
students, I took it. This, however, did not resolve my issue. Disappointingly, I again faced the problem of
being isolated by other students from China. At the age of twenty-three, I moved to Vancouver, Canada, to
attend Graduate School and study a Master of Design. Within half a year in this new place I, once again,
had problems communicating with people who, like myself, were from China. These uncomfortable/
traumatic situations with Chinese people were perplexing. I easily made friends with people from many
different countries but I could not connect with people of my own culture. I wondered about this. Am I the
problem, or is there something else that they are having a hard time accepting? Moreover, I wondered if
my case was a unique or perhaps something also experienced by others. This became a starting point for
me to think about my identity, identity formation and its connection to design.
Identity issues are prevalent in the contemporary global context. A study of transcultural identity(ies)
states, “individuals who have grown up under the exposure of two cultures may develop a bicultural
identity.”3 Although transculturalism is slightly different from biculturalism, “transculturalism can be seen as

3 Christin-Melanie Vauclair et al., “Transcultural Identity The Future Self in a Globalized World,”

TRANSCULTURAL Revista Semestral Da Associação Portuguesa de Psicologia e Psiquiatria Transcultural,
Associação Portuguesa de Psicologia e Psiquiatria Transcultural, Volume VI, no. No.1 (2014): 10.

7

an extension of biculturalism in that it refers to individuals with multicultural experiences.”4 A person who
has a transcultural identity “does not have to be raised in two cultures since birth.”5
A recent study on Asian American Identity Development notes that “second-generation East Asian
Americans experience unique challenges of identity development and navigating between two cultural
contexts which have implications for mental health.”6 People in these situations have transcultural
identities because they “experience two or more cultural contexts in daily life.”7 For instance, they might
speak one language at school and another with family members. This challenge due to lived experience in
two or more cultural contexts also extends to people like myself who have moved at a formative age.
Transcultural “youth experience identity confusion if they are unable to reconcile conflicting values.”8 As a
transient person who was not born in North America, I have lived experience inside two linguistic contexts:
Chinese and English, as well as three cultural contexts: China, the United States, and Canada.
Experiencing identity confusion in a multicultural environment is familiar to me. I am an individual with a
transcultural background. I have struggled to recognize this as part of my identity.
Having lived and observed experiences described above starting at a relatively young age, has
drawn a line between myself and other Chinese students who have arrived in North America later on in
their lives. I stand in a liminal zone between people born in the United States or Canada with Chinese
heritage and mature students from China studying abroad in North America. I am not accepted, and am
misunderstood by both groups. It was not until embarking on my Master’s studies that I began to think
about what this meant to me. While I cannot change what I have experienced, I have been able to use and
incorporate these experiences with insights from design theory and Chinese philosophy through a series of
embodied practices.
I am not solely interested in identity formation. My work draws on past personal experiences as a
means to explore how transcultural identity might be applied to incorporate different cultural perspectives to
approaches and concerns in the design field.
Prior to entering the interdisciplinary master of design program at Emily Carr University of Art +
Design I was not fully exposed to the field of design. I had, however, always been interested in cultural and

4 Vauclair et al., Transcultural Identity The Future Self in a Globalized World, 10.
5 Vauclair et al., Transcultural Identity The Future Self in a Globalized World, 9.
6 Christopher W. Cheung and Jacqueline M. Swank, “Asian American Identity Development: A Bicultural

Model for Youth,” Journal of Child and Adolescent Counseling 5, no. 1 (January 2, 2019): 90, https://
doi.org/10.1080/23727810.2018.1556985.
7 Vauclair et al., Transcultural Identity The Future Self in a Globalized World, 9.
8 Cheung and Swank, Asian American Identity Development, 92.

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identity related topics. I came to the program to conduct design-based research into traditional Chinese
Textile Design. As I began to take on a series of design explorations (actions), my research shifted from
traditional Chinese textiles to the philosophical relationship between myself and clothing in design practice.
Later, my work developed into an exploration of the role and potential of transcultural experiences applied
to the embodied, performative practices that reflected on Chinese philosophical Daoism in relation to the
discourse of design. I have always been interested in philosophy. This, combined with my Chinese identity,
led me to consistently circling back, considering and viewing my work through a lens of Chinese
philosophical Daoism.
In the following chapters, I will discuss the methods and process of my practice-based design
research that applies to three forms of Zi Ran. Zi Ran, a term derived from Chinese philosophical tradition
of Daoism, will be explained in The Grounding chapter below. Further along in the document, each of the
three Zi Ran chapters contain reflections of my personal experiences and foreshadows issues around
transcultural identity and cultural appropriation that I found myself exploring and considering throughout.
Through a series of projects described in the chapters below, I explore recognition of self and attentiveness
in everyday life to consider Columbian anthropologist, Arturo Escobar’s term, the “pluriverse of design”9.

9 Arturo Escobar, Designs for the Pluriverse: Radical Interdependence, Autonomy, and the Making of

Worlds, New Ecologies for the Twenty-First Century (Durham: Duke University Press, 2018), 135.

9

Beginning to Frame the Work
Cultural Legacy (Philosophy)
My practice-based design research is heavily informed by the Chinese philosophical concept of Zi
Ran10 This connection to Chinese philosophy turned up midway through my Masters studies. In summer
2019, I had a chance to visit the Netherlands with my fellow candidates; Japan with my friends, and my
hometown in China alone. While visiting, I found myself continually drawn to water and mountain elements.
When I returned to Vancouver, I struggled to find an appropriate explanation for my intuitive connection to
these aspects of the environment. My father suggested I read some books about ancient Chinese
philosophy. Later, I realized, through travel and a series of observations of natural environments and
reflection on my experiences in different countries, that I had attained a better understanding of the
concept of Zi Ran.

Lived Reality (Transcultural Experience)
During my travels, I also participated in activities that deepened my perspective of cultural specific
artifacts. Wearing a Kimono and then later a Yukata, while visiting Japan later led me to wearing a Yukata in
an entirely different cultural context, during an evening out with friends in Vancouver. Taking on these
activities furthered my design practice from a transcultural perspective. I considered issues of cultural
appropriation. I began to view/observe designed objects in my home as well as the things I wore from a
discursive design11 perspective – I began to consider “their discursive voice in everyday life and reason of
being.”12
Japan has become a place I find myself increasingly drawn to. As a consequence, my design
interventions, during my Master’s studies, have been primarily influenced by a mix of Chinese culture
(where I am from) and Japanese culture (where I am drawn to). Consciously aware that I was approaching
Japanese culture as an outsider, and to better understand the cultural contexts I was drawn to, I started
studying the Japanese language in spring 2018, six months before starting at Emily Carr University of Art +
Design. Two full years later and drawing to the end of my master studies, I can read Japanese cultural
related texts with little support from the dictionary. Learning about the culture and being able to speak

10 A Chinese philosophical term representing the notion of nature. This will be explained further in the

sections below.
11 Discursive Design: As defined by Bruce M. Tharp and Stephanie M. Tharp (2013), “Discursive design

refers to the creation of utilitarian objects/services/interactions whose primary purpose is to communicate
ideas—artifacts embedded with discourse.”
12 Bruce M. Tharp and Stephanie M. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics: Mode And Audience” (Nordic

Design Research Conference, Copenhagen-Malmö, 2013), 2.

10

Japanese has helped me recognize why Japan? Why would a person born in China with ten years of lived
experience in North America have a huge interest in Japan before having visited it? The chapters below will
detail how, through the intervention of ontological design13 methods and performative embodiment
practices, I was able to begin to better understand this draw to a foreign culture and place. In the
multicultural context of the Emily Carr Masters Studio I was also able to consider cultural appropriation and
how to approach these concerns from the perspective of a transcultural individual in design.

New/Unexpected Situations (COVID19 )
I am a newcomer to design and a person who has a transcultural identity. Caught in self-isolation
due to COVID-19 I began to reflect on this and to identify the conditions that limit or affords a material
making-performative practice in relation to the ongoing present people are experiencing. Wearing the hat of
an outsider/transient/in-betweener in multicultural environments, creative based self-exploration affords me
access to my previous knowledge studied outside of the design context. Reviewing and revisiting past my
projects and experiences has helped me to categorize and better understand the role of the intuitive
approaches I have used in my embodied design explorations. The philosophical notion of Zi Ran has
informed and been in dialogue with my making practices in the studio and the home environment. I have
considered it in relation to ontological and discursive design theories. Looking into the discourses of design
has led me to listen to the “discursive voices in everyday life,”14 to recognize and understand objects
around me in a philosophical way, and reflect and offer up an approach to design that encompasses a
plurality made up of both eastern and western perspectives.

13 Ontological Design: As defined by Anne-Marie Willis (2006), “Ontological designing is a way of

characterising the relation between human beings and lifeworlds.”
14 B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 2.

11

Grounding: Chinese Philosophical Daoism of Zi Ran
In the article, The Social Construction of the Personal Past written by Monisha Pasupathi suggests
“the social shaping of the past, in turn, may both influence and be influenced by the unfolding of the
future.”15 Your past experiences and memories are intertwined with one another and enable us to consider
the coming events. Pasupathi also states that “because memory and identity are intimately connected, the
social shaping of memory may also be a process by which the self is socially shaped.”16 This insight that
past experiences influence the way we perceive the world reminds me of a Chinese term - Zi Ran (figure
1.1.1).
From a philosophical perspective, Zi Ran is associated with the Chinese Philosophical Daoism. In
book Dao De Jing,17 the founder of Chinese philosophical Daoism, Lao Zi,18 stated that “Zi Ran is the Dao,
and the Dao is the Zi Ran.”19 Further, Lao Zi noted that Dao is greater and equal to Zi Ran. Therefore, Zi
Ran refers to something similar or equal to the “nature”. Moreover, Dao can be understood as an unseen
order that all beings exist under. In Lao Zi’s interpretation Zi Ran not only refers to natural environments like
forests or mountains. It is also a suggestion of one's conceptual state of being. Related to this, Zhuang Zi20
(369BC - 286 BC) , another Daoism philosopher who was born after the period of Lao Zi, also suggested
that “one is immersing in the thing21 unconsciously and comfortable with the state of being, and this is
Dao.”22

15 Monisha Pasupathi, “The Social Construction of the Personal Past and Its Implications for Adult

Development.,” Psychological Bulletin 127, no. 5 (2001): 661, https://doi.org/
10.1037/0033-2909.127.5.651.
16 Pasupathi, The Social Construction of the Personal Past and Its Implications for Adult Development, 661.
17 “Dao De Jing 道德经,” a Daoism book conduct by ⽼⼦ Lao Zi, the founder of the Chinese

Philosophical Daoism.
18 Lao Zi ⽼⼦ (601 BC - Unknown), the author of the Daoism literature Dao De Jing, the earliest Daoism

philosopher in China.
19 Ren Farong 任法融, Daodejing Shiyi 道德经释義 [The Book of Daodejing and its Explanation in Modern

Chinese] (Beijing: Zhongguo Gongshang Lianhe Chubanshe, 2017), 106.
20 Zhuang Zi 庄⼦ (369 BC - 286 BC), Chinese Daoism philosopher, author of the Daoism literature

Zhuang Zi.
21 The Thing, in this quote means the Dao, which is an unseen thing, a conceptual state of being.
22 Zhuang Zhou 庄周, Zhuangzi Quanshu: Caihui Quanzhu Quanyi 庄⼦全书: 彩绘全注全译 [The Book of

Zhuang Zi: Illustration and Explanation in Modern Chinese], ed. Si Lv 思履 (Beijing: Beijing Lianhe Chuban
Gongsi, 2014), 23.

12

Figure 1.1.1

13

Following Lao Zi’s perception of Dao, Zi Ran is the Dao, and “all things have their place to be, to
become; there are no things that have no place to be, and nothing to become.”23 Paring the concept of Zi
Ran, which is a part of my cultural heritage, with my past lived experience (living in different cities and
locations outside of China). I have drawn on Zi Ran to consider three-forms: The first Zi Ran is referring as
nature (environments); the second Zi Ran is a state of being foreshadowing what one has experienced; the
third Zi Ran is also a state of being but one is naturally accepting and comfortable welcoming its existence
into life. I use these to evaluate and draw out my personal lived experience, interest in design, and cultural
impacted identity to serve as a means to explore making an object through textiles. Moreover, through a
series of embodied mindful practices of observation, making and performance to address transcultural
identity issues in life-experiences.
The First Zi Ran stands for the natural environment. Here, Zi Ran is an umbrella term for nature. Zi
Ran can be found in a forest; in a lake; on a tree; and even inside city parks. Nature is so broad it is
everywhere on earth, yet nature is so small you can find it in your flower pot on your balcony. I will describe
how observation of nature has led me to link Daoism philosophical views to perspectives and concerns in
design research in the chapter The Ziran 自然: Thin-Slicing Related to Environments We Find Ourselves In.
The Second Zi Ran emphasizes a state of being that is based on an individual’s past experiences
and current lived environment. Unlike the first Zi Ran, the second Zi Ran takes place unconsciously. Most
individuals are not aware of changes made in their life and how they affect current actions unless they
purposefully take the time to review and reflect on themselves. This Zi Ran is a philosophical approach that
emphasizes a state of being where we are immersed in experience but not entirely aware. Arguably, this
process is one aspect of identity formation. In the chapter The Ziranerran 自然而然: Thin-Slicing Related
the Circumstances That Influence Us, I will briefly explain how I pair this philosophical notion through
intuitive making to define discursive design in research. Understanding intuitive making as a vehicle to
uncover identity issues and its relationship to design.
The Third Zi Ran is also a state of being. Different from the second Zi Ran, the third Zi Ran is a
state of being that an individual chooses to become. It also refers to feeling comfortable from within
oneself. In 2015, in a MUJI talk show, Japanese designer Kenya Hara spoke about the philosophy of
MUJI. Hara mentions one of the design concepts MUJI is trying to embrace is to create “the style that suits
you perfectly as an individual.”24 This aspiration illustrates an intention in design that has an affinity with the
essence of this third meaning of Zi Ran. From a theoretical perspective, the third Zi Ran is the most difficult
23 Zhuang Zhou 庄周, Zhuangzi Quanshu: Caihui Quanzhu Quanyi 庄⼦全书: 彩绘全注全译 [The Book of

Zhuang Zi: Illustration and Explanation in Modern Chinese], 23.
24 Kenya Hara, “Visualize the philosophy of MUJI,” December 12, 2015, MUJI flagship store, Shanghai,

China, Video, 37:07, https://www.muji.com/us/flagship/huaihai755/archive/hara.html.

14

form of Zi Ran to achieve. It requires a strong acceptance of our surroundings, place in life, and who we
are. It is a state of being present and in the moment. In the chapter The Zizaierran 自在而然: Thin-Slicing
and Finding the Rhythm of Oneself I will discuss how I discovered my identity through a series of
performative practices that included unexpected responses from others including being misunderstood as
a non-Chinese. Part of this process involved accepting who I am, and “understanding how we, as modern
subjects ‘are’ and how we come to be who/what we are in the modern world.”25 Having confronted and
recognizing the past shadows that turned up and drove my intuitive designerly actions, I wondered. “What
is next, how do I utilize this recognition of self?”

25 Anne-Marie Willis, “Ontological Designing — Laying the Ground” (Design Philosophy Papers, 2006), 80.

15

Grounding: Thin-Slicing of Time
In Communication Studies, there is a term called thin-slicing. This term, which has been borrowed
from the field of psychology, comes from the observation “that as human beings we are capable of making
sense of situations based on the thinnest slice of experience.”26 In Communication Studies , “thin-slicing” is
used to suggest that people sometimes do not overthink the problems they face; that instead, through a
thin-slicing effect, they generate responses based on past experiences. Interestingly this has a tie to
intuitive approaches in the design. Intuition is not something that just drops in front of you. Rather it is a
perception that shifts “how we engage with the world” moving us away “from an analytical, sequential, and
logical mode of consciousness.”27 Through my design actions, I have come to realize that intuitive
approaches in the design process could be understood as a process of drawing on thin-slicing through
one's life. The attuned designer is able to draw on and apply single or multiple slices to help develop and
move designs propositions forward.
Observation, making and performance actions have been key to my conceding the concept of thinslicing of time. Observation helps me to embed past experience in my making. Performance helps me to
embed the past experience in living. Melding of experiences both past and present is vital to the concept
of thin-slicing of time. Time does not just stand for the time we live through; time, it seems to me, is also a
space where all beings (human and the more than human) exist. The list below marks out my feelings
towards time experienced in the present, and informed by the past, through observation, through making,
and through performance. Each of my design actions undertaken during my Master of Design studies are
a representation of a thin-slice of my experience, my time.

26 Mark Andrejevic, Infoglut: How Too Much Information Is Changing the Way We Think and Know (New

York: Routledge, 2013): 79.
27 Yoko Akama, “Surrendering to the Ocean: Practices of Mindfulness and Presence in Designing,” in

DRAFT for Routledge Handbook for Sustainable Design, ed. Rachel Beth Egenhoefer, 2017, 222.

16

Time was swift, winding, dense, carrying and enlightening.
Time was intuitive, uncertain, attentive, and isolated.
Time was traceable, repeated, tentative, interdisciplinary, and intuitive.
Time was versatile, a toolbox, a mirror maze, a reference book - renewable, cumulative.
Time was tedious, heated, repetitive, repetition, and aromatic.
Time is intricate, tangle-some, overlapping, periodic, and unforeseeable.
Time was slow, heavy, laden, thick. It felt hard to walk through . . .
Time was implicit, complicated, long-tested, gorgeous, inherited, and impressed.
Time was inclusive, empathetic, acceptable, lightsome, and relaxing.
Time was anxious, worrisome, interactive, thick, and detached.

17

TIME WAS
WINDING

DENSE

CARRYING

ENLIGHTENING

Sorting things out:
⾃然 Thin-Slicing Related to Environments We Find Ourselves In …
The Chinese word “自然” is pronounced “Zi Ran.” For the purpose of this text the English translation
of this word is nature, the natural environment that humans have – long occupied and engage in – that is
integral to our experience and our histories.

Observing Rivers
Time was swift, winding, dense, carrying and enlightening.
I have noticed that flows of water always/invariably connect with others. From June to August in
2019, I visited the Netherlands, Japan, and returned to my hometown Xi’an, China. While in the
Netherlands, I spent time in Amsterdam and Rotterdam. This summer trip aimed to research and
document the ancient building structures in this area of Europe and to create designs afterward as a tool
for reflecting on the experience. I hoped that I could answer the questions people had asked of myself
based on a previous project I had conducted in the Master of Design studio “Beyond the conversation you
had hoped to intimate with others; What did/do you want to show them?” Instead, however, I kept finding
myself staring at the water. Whenever I saw a waterway my steps would just stop. I would stand and watch
and watch and watch. There are many rivers in the Netherlands, so I spent a lot of time standing still. This
behavior continued when I arrived in Kyoto, Japan, one month later. The Kamogawa River caught my
attention. I found myself leaning, alone, on the side of the Shijo bridge, three mornings in a row. During a
subsequent visit to Kyoto in January 2020, I paid a visit to the river again.
As my behavior - of watching rivers - happened persistently and often, I began to re-organize my
thought process. Why am I drawn to water; why does it attract me? With these questions in mind, I
returned to my home in Xi’an, China, where I grew up. I drew diagrams of the cities I have lived in and
visited: Boulder, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Kyoto, and Xi’an (Figure 2.1). Doing so, I began to realize that all
of these places share a common characteristic, they all have lots of inland water (rivers, canals, creaks,
streams, lakes, reservoirs…). The waterways I mapped out, spread like spider webs on my screen. I
began to realize that my attraction to water had been with me for a long time, that it came from my early
childhood experiences in Xi’an.

19

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然
The shape of water or, more accurately, the geography that holds water for each city I visited is
notably unique. Water, I reminded myself, does not have a set shape/form. Instead, it is determined by the
shape/form of the thing that contains it. In other words, water will fill/fit/mold itself to the space it finds itself
in. It is hard to speak of the three characteristics of Zi Ran separated. Nature, in itself, is the best performer
of Zi Ran philosophy.
While mapping the bodies of water my mind regularly shifted between observations of water and my
interest in textiles. Before a flat piece of cloth is manipulated through craft, either by hand or tools and
turned into a clothing form, it is like water. Full of possibility, it could be anything. The moment cloth/a textile
touches an individual - covering the human body, it becomes a part of that person. Particular styles of
clothes invariably become a supplement to support this person’s character (this observation links to design
actions that I would develop later and discuss in the Third Zi Ran chapter below).

20

Sorting Things Out:
⾃然⽽然 Thin-Slicing Related the Circumstances That Influence Us
The word Ziranerran 自然而然 is a Chinese idiom that means “naturally” in English. Ziran 自然 here
means naturally, and Erran 而然 means to become(ing). Ziranerran 自然而然 is used to describe an
environment that one is immersed in and naturally influenced by, both unconsciously and consciously.
As noted in the Grounding chapter, this form of Zi Ran is a state of being shaped by things other
than ourselves: by people, by objects, by experiences. We do not always have control over these things.
In late 2019 COVID-1928 came from nowhere and swept across the world swiftly: China in early
January 2020, Vancouver, by mid-March. Public gyms, restaurants, government buildings, retail stores any location where people gathered - were forced to shut down to reduce the virus’s spread. By the time
this document will be complete, it will still be a present threat to humanity. In mid-March Emily Carr
University’s campus also shut down, I could not access my studio, so I worked from home. Faced with
self-isolation due to this sudden change I was hyper-aware of the changes happening around me and the
society as a whole. While I could not change the situation, I was able to adapt to this new environment.
Finding thoughtful ways to make and pass the time alone in my home became a means of embracing
discursive design.
Discursive design refers to the “creation of utilitarian objects/services/interactions whose primary
purpose is to communicate ideas—artifacts embedded with discourse.”29 People who practice/research
discursive design are “looking to communicate ideas through their objects that are provocative on
psychological-, sociological-, and ideological-levels.”30 Discursive design also suggests that designers
“listen to the discourse voice of the everyday world objects and surroundings, and their reason for being.”31
The COVID-19 situation forced me to recognize and accept the things I own in the space around me, and
as well as understand their reason to exist and to connect with me.
The projects described below were created during the quarantine period (March - June 2020).
Everything I made was done using previously owned objects or materials.

28 COVID-19, stands for Coronavirus disease 2019.
29 B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 1.
30 B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 3.
31 B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 2.

21

TIME WAS

INTUITIVE

UNCERTAIN

ATTENTIVE

ISOLATED

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然⽽然
Making One: The Textile Pattern Cards
Time was intuitive, uncertain, attentive, and isolated.
“Embracing uncertainty involves acknowledging that we do not and cannot know exactly what will
happen next and engaging with the possibilities that this affords.”32
Faced with the March quarantine situation, my first project was a set of textile pattern cards handpainted on paper using watercolor paints. Drawing on observations of nature while traveling, being able to
move from place to place uninhibited33 through multiple countries in summer 2019 and January 2020. I
initially tried to digitally ‘paint’ my patterns using digital software. I quickly rejected this solution when I
realized I could not generate the same effects on screen as I would by drawing with dye directly onto
fabric. Realizing this while also facing a lack of supplies, I switched to using a pack of watercolors and
watercolor paper that I had in my home. I began to mimic the process of dye on fabric, on small pieces of
paper that had been soaked in water and dried. This making process34 took six to ten hours, depending
on the room’s temperature, and the layers of paints applied. In total, I made twelve patterns (Figure 3.1.1).
As I did this work, I had plenty of time to think about my Chinese ancestors, who, when they initially
discovered natural dyes, must have faced many difficulties as they figured out the proportions of color to
use and best temperatures to create the effects they sought. I began this pattern painting project with
uncertainty, not knowing where it would lead me. And eventually, it was taking me away from the situation
of making things alone, to connect my works with others through a digital format.

32 Yoko Akama, Sarah Pink, and Shanti Sumartojo, Uncertainty and Possibility: New Approaches to Future

Making in Design Anthropology, vol. Chapter 2, 2020, 22.
33 Definition of Uninhibited according to the Oxford English Dictionary is “expressing one's feelings or

thoughts unselfconsciously and without restraint.”
Oxford Dictionaries, s.v. “uninhibited,” accessed October 10, 2020, https://www.lexico.com/definition/
uninhibited
34 Please see the appendix for the detail processes.

23

Figure 3.1.1

24

TIME WAS

TRACEABLE

REPEATED

TENTATIVE

INTERDISCIPLINARY

INTUITIVE

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然⽽然
Making Two: The Paper Dolls
Time was traceable, repeated, tentative, interdisciplinary, and intuitive.
When COVID-19 first hit, many people thought the situation would get better after a month or two. It
was not. By mid-April, my earlier plan of taking my pattern cards to a fabric printing service was no longer
an option. When I first created my patterns on paper, I did not decide what textile application I was
designing them for. Realizing this, I decided to scan my physical pattern cards and work in Procreate (an
app on my iPad) to help me see how my patterns might translate to a garment form. Remembering my
travel photographs of people in Japan (Figure 3.2.1) I drew a character wearing a Yukata and layered my
scanned pattern onto the figure. I created pattern combinations for the Yukata as I went. I worked intuitively
and followed my instincts. Remembering my recent travels to Japan and the warm acceptance of me (an
individual of Chinese origin, see third Zi Ran chapter for detail). I created nine designs for Japanese Yukata
(Figure 3.2.2).
Pleased with my work, I reached out to a mix of female and male friends who are all Japanese and
shared my paper doll illustrations with them online. Sharing and discussing what I had drawn with friends
felt good. They wanted to know if I could make the patterns into actual Yukata. They told me they wished
they could just try my drawings on, wear my Yakuta designs and go out in the real world with them on –
“someday soon!” we agreed (we were all stuck on screens - the choice to go out was not an option).
These were very cheerful moments filled with the pleasure and delight of meeting with people and
discovering they liked my work. Something in this experience exemplified qualities of the second Zi RanZiranerran 自然而然.
The second Zi Ran speaks about an environment where people immerse themselves in and are
influenced by their surroundings. In this state of immersion some people are capable of noticing change,
while others are not. Arguably, this eastern philosophical perspective connects to the (western) world of
design that calls for designers like myself to be able to produce outcomes that adapt and respond to the
changes the world brings to us. The expected COVID-19 pandemic is a good example of this sort of
catalyst. Faced with the circumstances of Spring 2020 I realized that this Chinese philosophical notion that
I grew up with, had a connection to my design actions. I had become aware and had begun to listen to the
“discursive voice”35 embedded in the things I already owned and in the design actions I attempted. Gaining
the ability to consciously survey the objects filled in my surroundings and make the most use of them,
through design actions, became a way of connecting myself to the second Zi Ran.

35 B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 2.

26

Figure 3.2.1

27

Figure 3.2.2

28

TIME WAS

VERSATILE

A TOOLBOX

A MIRROR MAZE

A REFERENCE BOOK - RENEWABLE

CUMULATIVE

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然⽽然
Making Three: Pixelated Textiles
Time was versatile, a toolbox, a mirror maze, a reference book - renewable, cumulative.
In March 2020, Nintendo released a social simulation game Animal Crossing: New Horizons. At the
same time, coronavirus was raging around the world. In Animal Crossing, players are invited to develop
their isolated island and ‘live’ with animals. In the game, there is a function called “My design.” “My design”
allows players to apply their pattern designs onto surfaces, clothes, and furniture in the game. Not only can
players use “My design” to decorate their floors and walls, but they can also sell “My design clothes” at a
tailor shop located in the game space. Players can also gift embedded clothes provided by the system to
animals living on their island.36 When players upload their designs to the tailor shop, animals can purchase
and wear these “My design clothes” in the game (Figure 3.3.1).
Stuck in isolation, I discovered Animal Crossing: New Horizon by coincidence37 and began to play it
with friends online. While playing, I realized that this game platform could be a way for me to present and
promote my textile patterns to others.
The “My design” function in this game is an interesting one, as it challenges the idea of where and
how to present textile designs. Through this function, the process of making and consuming becomes an
entirely digital one. Players inside the game can be seen wearing a “My design” shirt with Louis Vuitton
logos or equally homemade patterns. The concepts of what is the design, and who is the designer seems
to shift. Rather than consumption, the “My design” function is embedded with the notion of sharing.
Through the internet, through this game, many other people and I are connecting. Digitization not only
enables textile designs to be shared cross-platforms (physically and digitally) but also helps to connect and
promote human relationships.

36 Players cannot give their “My design clothes” to animals.
37 Animal Crossing: New Horizons is going to be abbreviated as Animal Crossing in the following writings.

30

Figure 3.3.1 Top three (my character with brown hair);
Figure 3.3.2 Bottom two

31

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然⽽然
Realizing the possibility within Animal Crossing as a mechanism to cope with the constraints
imposed on me, such as lack of access to studios/workshops/supplies, I decided to engage with the tailor
shop option in the game. I made fifteen Kimono racks in this game and gifted them to friends who also play
the Animal Crossing. I used the Paper Doll project designs that I had not been able to actualize on fabric to
make Yukata in the real world and applied them to the game. My friends were able to use those Kimono
racks to decorate their island (Figure 3.3.2).
The reality of isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic did not stop me from making and seeking
connections with people. Arturo Escobar states that, “digital design cannot operate outside its social
context because files, systems, and media only gain meaning as part of a community’s practice.”38 Animal
Crossing provided me a platform to share and to connect with other individuals, known and unknown.
Through this platform, as part of this ongoing social community that servers the purpose of making
connections, my design actions, and perhaps myself as a designer, gained meaning. The development of
technology and the internet creates many possibilities for people to engage pluralistically across multiple
platforms. Ontologically design(ing) is activated through embodied practices that “characterize the
relationship between human beings and lifeworlds.”39 In addition, when we want to communicate, “artifacts
embedded within discourse; allow these to become tools for thinking and to raise awareness.”40 Also, to
acknowledge “the things we design, and things that are designing us,”41 in other words, I was not able to
be fully embodied as a designer until I was connecting to other individuals and sharing my works on the
internet, digitally.

38 Escobar, Designs for the Pluriverse, 41.
39 Willis, “Ontological Designing,” 80.
40 B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 1.
41 Willis, “Ontological Designing,” 80.

32

TIME WAS

TEDIOUS

HEATED

REPETITIVE

REPETITION

AROMATIC

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然⽽然
Making Four: The Tea Dye Fabric Samples
Time was tedious, heated, repetitive, repetition and aromatic.
Making does not always happen in sequence. Sometimes things run parallel with one another and
inform each other as well. While working on my Paper Doll explorations, I was also dyeing fabric in my
kitchen using tea that I had on hand. Out of necessity (forced on me by the pandemic) and because I had
become interested in playing with the idea of using and making the most of what I had close at hand I took
advantage of my kitchen and experimented with the tea I have in stock. Compared with other natural dye
processes, tea dying is relatively easy to work in home settings. Using 4.5 x 6.5 inches of muslin fabric, I
conducted two sets of tea dyeing color tests using English Breakfast tea and Tie Guan Yin42 (Figure 3.4.1,
Figure 3.4.2).
The color of the cloth barely changed.43 The green and black teas I sampled resulted in similar color
shades. While these tea dyeing attempts were exciting, I was also a little disappointed and could not see
how they related to my other work. I set them aside - stacked them on the edge of my sewing table.

Figure 3.4.1

Figure 3.4.2

42 Tie Guan Yin, one kind of the Chinese green tea.
43 See appendix for detailed procedures.

34

TIME WAS

INTRICATE

TANGLE-SOME

OVERLAPPING

PERIODIC

UNFORESEEABLE

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然⽽然
Making Five: Tea Dyed Table Mat
Time is intricate, tangle-some, overlapping, periodic, and unforeseeable.
One afternoon during the pandemic, after eating my lunch on my low wooden coffee table. I noticed
that my hot cup of tea had left a mark on the table. The mark was obvious even from a distance. I figured I
might need something to put under my cups to prevent the heat from further damaging the tabletop. Not
wanting to go out to purchase a new one - the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic had made me anxious and
uneasy with trips outside too close to strangers - I decided to make a table mat using leftover fabrics I have
at home. The notion of being in the present came to mind. Being in the present in a situation, accepting
the new norm surrounding me, and working with (not against) it. The earlier Phase One Isolation that had
been enforced in British Columbia44 forced me to enter the second state of Zi Ran. My habit of making
what I started as a way to cope through that first uncertain period had not stopped. I wanted to craft
something that would use the materials I had around me.
I collected all my leftover thinly sliced, weird shaped pieces of fabric but soon realized that they were
too hard to sew together. While I was struggling to figure out how to make the table mat my table needed, I
received a phone call from my mother. Aspects of our conversation gave me the clue I needed. I suddenly
thought, why bother with the scraps of odd-shaped fabrics prices when there are some regular modular
pieces (my test samples) right in front of me? Yes, the tea dye samples I made had no other use. The
muslin fabric I had used for dying samples was cut into a similar size, and it would be easy to work with. I
just need to put them in order and sew them together, and then I would have a table mat. I set to work,
and in only twenty minutes, I finished my needed table mat (Figure 3.5.1).
Something in this process reminded me of Ranru (or Boro), a technique that is used in Japan. The
Boro textile is also called Ranru in Japanese. A Boro textile or Ranru is a textile sewed together by many
old used fabrics. Originally, this process of sewing another piece of cloth on a garment was used when
clothes were broken and needed repair. These days, some designers gather vintage jeans and turn them
into a Ranru jackets. The concept of the Boro textile was based on recycling and saving of cost from old
periods.

44 CBC News, “What you need to know about COVID-19 in B.C. on March 31, 2020,” CBC News, March

30, 2020, British Columbia, https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/coronavirus-update-whatyou-need-to-know-march-31-1.5515687.

36

Sorting Things Out: ⾃然⽽然
The process of finding individuals’ Zi Ran can also be seen as a way of sorting personal
experiences/surroundings. There is a rhythm within the process of sorting that varies from one individual to
the next based on lived experience. Designers like myself need to discover our unique rhythm to
understand and acknowledge the intuitive acts in design making. The making of this simple table mat
derived from the notion of the second Zi Ran. When I made the table mat, I was engaging in design as
ontological; I recognized myself “being designed while designing/making”45 by my surroundings. Not only
did I recognize the environment I was situated within, but I also actively engaged with it and the objects
around me through my design action: creating a table mate. To make, and to make use of what I made.
The social change, COVID-19, forced me to look around, and eventually, I became able to manage - to live
along with what was happening around me and accepting the new norm then enjoy it.
Design Researchers Bruce Tharp and Stephanie Tharp assert that design that is discursive
communicates “ideas through objects in the everyday world offering utility.”46 Through my design actions I
have attempted to embody observations in everyday discourse and make through ordinary objects that
generate other possibilities outside its original utility. By doing so, the second Zi Ran is embedded within
the process of making those design actions described from Making One to Making Five.

Figure 3.5.1

45 Willis, “Ontological Designing,” 80.
46 B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 2, 3.

37

TIME WAS

SLOW

HEAVY

LADEN

THICK

IT FELT HARD TO WALK THROUGH . . .

Sorting Things Out:
⾃在⽽然 Thin-Slicing and Finding the Rhythm of Oneself
The Chinese word, Zizai 自在, most directly relates to words such as “free” or “comfortable” in
English. Erran 而然 as noted earlier means “to become.” Zizaierran 自在而然, then, is a suggestion for
individuals to live and embrace themselves/their identities - essentially to feel comfortable with oneself.
According to Claude Pineau, “how people embody sense of self varies from one individual to another and
sometimes dependent on their lived experiences.”47

Performative Act One: The Wedding
Time was slow, heavy, laden, thick. It felt hard to walk through . . .
The Wedding was one of my earliest explorations that considered identity construction through the
making and performance. This project helped me review my past and assess what I carried with me as a
hereditary and culturally Chinese person. Revisiting this project later - after a series of reflections on my
travels - I was able to identify further performative opportunities. During my work on this project, I moved
towards the conceptual idea of the Chinese philosophical Daoism of Zi Ran. Later I would come to
recognize a correlation between experiencing uncertainty while observing, intuitive making in design
explorations and performative acts with clothing - all of these embodied practices act to help sort through
things and to discover the rhythm embedded within intuitive making in design.

47 Pineau, Claude. “The Psychological Meaning of Comfort.” Applied Psychology 31, no. 2 (April 1982):

271–82. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1464-0597.1982.tb00097.x.

39

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
The Wedding was precipitated by both my past and my present. First, my past, the stories that my
father had read to me when I was a child had a huge influence on me. As a child, I developed a deep
interest in traditional Chinese history and culture from my hometown - one of the oldest cities in China,
Xi’an. Later, after moving to the United States, this interest persisted. I researched Chinese artifacts while
an undergraduate, oriented around the Chinese artifacts collected in the on-campus museum at the
university I attended. Second, my present, I was experiencing a challenge in my relationship. I wanted to
create a project that spoke about my perspective on women in contemporary relationships. Drawing on my
own lived experience and secondary research into traditional Chinese wedding ceremonies I developed a
speculative wedding outfit made of red satin and black organza and consisting of two parts: a veil and a
dress. Rather than use Western wedding elements, I drew from traditional Chinese weddings for the
foundational concepts of my exploration, circling myself back to where I came from, East Asia (Figure
4.1.2, Figure 4.1.3). The veil was my means to explore and consider notions and implications of hidden
identity (Figure 4.1.1). The dress was my means to follow my ancestors’ lead - to apply their tactics for
crafting garments. “People in ancient China used ropes to connect pieces of fabric and ensure the clothes
do not fall off from the human body.”48 The construction of my garment did not use any zippers or hooks.
While my intention and inclination to produce/create The Wedding was purely intuitive, it did come
from - was part of - a personal lineage of interest and life experience. This design action, which sought to
invite conversation with others, was also a site for self-interrogation.

48 Shen Congwen 沈从⽂ and Wang Xu 王预, Zhong Guo Fu Shi Shi 中国服饰史 [The History of Chinese

Clothing] (Xi’an, 2004), 80-86.

40

Figure 4.1.1

41

Figure 4.1.2 Left; Figure 4.1.3 Right

42

On the performance day, I wore the dress and veil I had created, I felt my sense of time slow down. I
became aware of it (time) as I listened to my peers present their work at a distance and from under my veil.
My first engagement with others occurred when I entered the Master of Design studio. I sat in my dress
and veil at the back of the room, waiting for other people to interrupt/engage with me. This performative
piece was my opportunity also to observe my colleagues from many different cultural contexts. My day,
wearing this outfit in the studio, however, did not occur as I had hoped. None of my colleagues (I was in a
crit space with twenty-one of them) came to interact with me. I sat in the corner, all alone, by myself, for
two and a half hours. Before entering the room and taking on this performative act, I had anticipated that at
least one or two people might come up to me and strike up a conversation, but no one did. While I sat
alone, I took photos of what I could see from inside the veil (Figure 4.1.4). My view was limited, and my
ability to sense the time was laden because I was hardly experiencing the flow of time under the veil.
Initially I thought this project was a failure.
One month later, I had two separate conversations with two of my professors. Both of them asked
me, “But why in the form of performance? Beyond the conversation, you had hoped to be intimate with
others. What did/do you want to show them?”
I decided I needed to figure out how this (performance) related to my work in design. Why did I make
this decision to involve identity and background in design making; why am I interested in certain things, and
not others, and where are these unconsciousness decisions leading me? In summer 2019, I began a
series of observation practices (refer to the first Zi Ran chapter). I also (unintentionally) shifted to a practice
of embodied performative acts. I will describe these below.

43

Figure 4.1.4

44

TIME WAS

IMPLICIT

COMPLICATED

LONG-TESTED

GORGEOUS

INHERITED

IMPRESSED

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
Performative Act Two: Myself as Maiko and time spent in a Kyoto Ochaya
Ryokan
Time was implicit, complicated, long-tested, gorgeous, inherited, and impressed.
I am drawn to Japan.
I have visited Japan three times. In May 2018, two former roommates invited me to join them in
Tokyo for a one-week trip. It was short but enlightening. As a transcultural individual I grew up watching
Japanese animation and dramas in both China and the United States. In my undergraduate studies my
Japanese friends had introduced me to their culture. Despite the persistent thread of Japanese storytelling
that I had consumed via anime and friends I was not conscious of being drawn to Japan. This first trip was
a typical visit to a foreign country. I enjoyed myself but there were no significant incidents that made me
think I would return. In July 2019, I visited Japan for the second time with a Chinese friend. Unlike my first
trip, this time I was there for research purposes. My trip lasted eleven days. I visited three cities in the
following order, Osaka, Kyoto, and Tokyo. In December 2019 I made my third trip to Japan. This time to
celebrate new year. On this trip, with a Japanese friend I returned to Kyoto.

46

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
In July 2019, for my second visit to Japan, I booked accommodation at an old Ochaya49 style
Ryokan50 located in the Gion area51 of Kyoto. My room was on the third floor and only accessible by a set
of steep wooden stairs. While it did not have a TV, there was a wifi connection so I was not totally cut off
from my normal world. At night, I could hear music being played in the building next door. It was an
intriguing experience - to lean up against the wood sliding door in the middle of a rainy night and listen to a
beautiful piece of music produced by a foreign instrument I could not name.
My Chinese friend was eager to try a Maiko experience workshop. Curious too, I joined her. Dressing
up as a Maiko is a lengthy process that takes over an hour. It involves choosing the Kimonos, applying
thick layers of white paint, detailed Maiko facial makeup (with the help of a makeup stylist), putting on a
Maiko wig52 (to cover my short hair) and then finally being dressed by one of the workshop employees in
multiple Kimono layers. Going through this process left me feeling transformed. How incredible to look like
a real Maiko! Faced with the weight of my new attire I marveled at the grace of Maikos. To move smoothly
in these clothes was no small task. Once I was all dressed up I was invited into a photo studio, which
featured a miniature Japanese tea room with a rock garden and a range of props. I was given a rattan
basket and directed to hold it in one hand, lifting the Kimonos’ hem, up to my waist with my other hand.53
In that moment of being photographed, I thought about other “traditions” in other places that were lost in
time. In China, “many traditional textiles are getting lost due to globalization.”54

49 Ochaya is a Japanese tea house.
50 Ryokan is a Japanese style hotel.
51 This area of Kyoto is well known for its Maiko performances.
52 A real Maiko’s elaborate hair arrangement is their own, they do not wear wigs.
53 I posted photos taken during my Maiko experience on Instagram. Surprisingly instead of commenting on

my attire, my Japanese friends asked me if I went to see Maiko’s performance - they did not recognize me.
(Figure 4.2.1.1, Figure 4.2.1.2).
54 Li Nan 李楠, Fu Shi Wen Hua Lun 服饰⽂化论 [The Cultural Aspects of Clothing] (S.l.: E-CONTENT

GENERIC VENDOR, 2017), Chapter 2.3.

47

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
My Maiko experience reminded me of my cultural traditions, while also making me think about the future.
Could activities such as my Maiko experience act as a tool to motivate new ideas (bring connections
between western design theory and Asian cultural context), and perhaps reveal important insights from the
cultural heritages?55

Figure 4.2.1.1

Figure 4.2.1.2

55 Later during COVID-19 pandemic, I began to apply these practices that embedded with East Asian

cultural heritages, especially Japanese culture (see the second Zi Ran chapter) to my design actions that
practices Chinese Philosophy of Zi Ran.

48

TIME WAS

INCLUSIVE

EMPATHETIC

ACCEPTABLE
LIGHTSOME

RELAXING

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
Performative Act Three: Wearing Yukata in public spaces in Japan
Time was inclusive, empathetic, acceptable, lightsome, and relaxing.
After my Maiko experience I decided to try wearing another traditional Japanese outfit: the Yukata.56 I
wore Yukata during a visit to the Fushimi Inari shrine and at a Tokyo firework festival. At the Fushimi Inari
shrine, I saw people wearing a mix of traditional and contemporary western clothing. People mixed up time
periods - wearing traditional Kimonos57 with contemporary dress shirts underneath. This capacity to absorb
and adopt foreign cultures within traditional ones inspired me. Later, during my stay, I purchased a set of
Yukata. I wore my new Yukata on the subway, on the streets of Tokyo, and while purchasing food from a
convenience store. No one looked at me oddly. The acceptance and tolerance of me wearing traditional
clothing that was not of my own heritage was refreshing.

56 Yukata, one of the styles of the Kimono; originally was meant to be worn at home or in public baths,

though time development, people now often wear Yukata in summer seasons.
57 With my knowledge learned from Japanese textile books, I assumed the Kimonos I saw at the time were

reasonably traditional.

50

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
Wearing my Yukata in an everyday setting made me feel more alive than ever before. I could sense
Japan’s summer spirit through the Yukata. It dawned on me that Kimono and Yukata are not just clothes,
they are a compression of history and time (Figure 4.2.2.1).

Figure 4.2.2.1

51

TIME WAS

ANXIOUS

WORRISOME

INTERACTIVE

THICK

DETACHED

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
Performative Act Four: Wearing Yukata in Vancouver
Time was anxious, worrisome, interactive, thick, and detached.
In October 2019, three months after returning to Vancouver, I wore the Yukata again. This time to
have dinner with a Japanese friend. On my way to the Japanese restaurant I was complimented for my
outfit and mistaken as Japanese by a stranger. Despite this I was very self-conscious. While at the
restaurant I had a pleasant time, but the gazes from strangers were hard to bear. I remember wishing time
would move faster. Unlike the experience of wearing the Yukata in Japan I feel nervous and uncomfortable.
I thought of the Hanfu58 wearing community in China59 and the negative responses they often receive.60 I
also thought about language.
Intent on better understanding Japanese culture I joined Vancouver based Japanese-English
language social group that meets twice a week. And was established for two groups of people: those like
myself who wanted to learn Japanese, and for Japanese who recently arrived in Canada to practice their
English. Experiences while being introduced to people of this community reminded me of my in-between
identity that people often have a hard time situating. Living in North America for ten years, I am familiar with
people mistaking individuals from different areas of Asia. Still, I was surprised in my Japanese-English
language social group that even native Chinese and Japanese speakers would confuse me as a
Japanese. As with previous experiences during my travels to Japan. As long as I did not speak, I was
easily mistaken for being Japanese.

58 Hanfu, is a traditional clothing for Han ethnicity in China.
59 MO Zhi Ying, “The Hanfu Movement and Intangible Cultural Heritage: Considering the Past to Know the

Future” (University of Macau, 2017), 12.
60 In recent years, in China, there has been a growth of Hanfu movements in many cities. Wearing Hanfu in

China, however, unlike the Kimono and Yukata in Japan, brings strange gazes and comments from
strangers. I have tried wearing Hanfu a couple of times while visiting family in China. The response from
fellow Chinese has made me feel uncomfortable and sad. While the Hanfu is the traditional clothing for
people of the Han ethnicity, historical and political reasons have meant that there is a disconnect for most
Chinese with this heritage.

53

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
And while this can be convenient to be seen as a Japanese, it is in these instances that I am aware
of losing my identity as a Chinese. I am living in a cross-cultural environment. My past experiences tell me I
am not accepted on either side by either group of people. While I am a person with “more than one cultural
identity;”61 The Chinese community living in North America also share a transcultural identity (due to their
living environment). However, “individuals differ in regard to their choice of cultural elements they want to
integrate into their selves.”62
The sense of loss belonging from these language experiences made me wonder where I can situate
myself and my practice as a designer. I have been irrigated by both eastern and western cultural contexts.
China has immersed me with rich historical and philosophical traditions of its culture. Living in North
America has offered me an open mind to think and accept in a multi-cultural context. And my trips to
Japan have offered a glance at a place of adaptation - of cultural/traditional acceptance and relevance in
contemporary society. Reflecting on this, I finally found the clues that I consider relevant to design practice.
Japan itself is an example of a place where both non-western and western ways are drawn on to live “in
and through transitional times.”63 It seems to me that Japan’s rich grounding and acknowledgment of its
past, combined with a level of acceptance and tolerance towards new things, demonstrates qualities
advocated by Arturo Escobar: “openness, mindfulness, a willingness to collaborate.”64 Drawing on my own
Chinese philosophical, transcultural perspective Escobar’s call for a pluriverse of design resonates. Plurality
in design offers up the possibility to grow, share and validate what others of different experience and
background have to offer.

61 Gundula Lücke, Tatiana Kostova, and Kendall Roth, “Multiculturalism from a Cognitive Perspective:

Patterns and Implications,” Journal of International Business Studies 45, no. 2 (February 2014), 170.
62 Vauclair, Christin-Melanie, Justine Klecha, Cristina Milagre, and Bárbara Duque. “Transcultural Identity

The Future Self in a Globalized World.” TRANSCULTURAL Revista Semestral Da Associação Portuguesa
de Psicologia e Psiquiatria Transcultural, Associação Portuguesa de Psicologia e Psiquiatria Transcultural,
Volume VI, no. No.1 (2014): 12.
63 Escobar, Designs for the Pluriverse, 153.
64 Escobar, Designs for the Pluriverse, 153.

54

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
Applying elements from Japanese culture to design practice has made me wonder what is the
appropriate use of cultural content outside my own? How do I situate myself if I am in the culture that I am
borrowing? Broega et al., in Reverse Design notes that “cultural appropriation is generally understood as an
expression of colonialism as opposed to the ways of cultural borrowing and cross-fertilization which imply
mutual exchange.”65 Further, this article states that cultural misappropriation involves acts of “comparison of
a dominant culture’s adoption of elements, ideas, images, art, and styles originally created by minority
culture.”66
“Uncertainty as a transformative force might offer different routes, intervention, and forms of changemaking.”67 After visiting cities in three countries in the summer of 2019, I began to introspectively review
myself: the spaces I have lived in; the languages I am able to speak; my education in multiple different
geographical and cultural contexts. Having done this self-scan, I returned to the work I had created
previously, especially those that were intuitive and full of uncertainty. I began to see that behind my
uncertainty, my instinctive acts and years of experiences (both positive and negative) shape the conceptual
standing of the work I create. This enabled a significant shift in my perspective. For years, I did not know
my identity and struggled to make others accept who I am. Over the past two years, I have come to
recognize and acknowledge the things I had, the things I have, and the things I hope to have in the future.
The performative acts described above are based in both my culture and another’s. Through them I
have come to contend with my cultural heritage and my transcultural identity. This process has allowed me
to discover a state of comfort while also accepting uncertainty. Through my performative acts I became
aware of issues of cultural appropriation. On one hand, I realized that some of my work could be taken as
an inappropriate use of a culture that is not my own. On the other hand, as a transcultural individual, I have
found myself drawn to Japan, a culture that has offered me a sense of acceptance I have not found
elsewhere. By stepping into clothing that was not my own, and often out of its’ original context, I have had
to deal with unease. Carrying this uncertainty while embodying performative practices, my cultural
appropriation concerns, dissolved in the process of self-identity recognition.

65 Broega, Ana Cristina, Helder Carvalho, Manuel Blanco Lage, Guillermo García-Badell, and Diana Lucía

Gómez-Chacón. Reverse Design: A Current Scientific Vision from the International Fashion and Design
Congress, 2019, 192.
66 Broega et al., Reverse Design: A Current Scientific Vision from the International Fashion and Design

Congress, 2019, 192.
67 Akama, Pink, and Sumartojo, Uncertainty and Possibility, 7.

55

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
The essence of the Third Zi Ran is immersive comfort with ourselves and the environment we live in.
The key to comfort suggested in the Zi Ran philosophy is discovering/finding one's unique comfort/
settlement. This is translatable, I think, to design, and the role of designers. When we draw on places and
cultures that are not our own, this must come with a personal connection. Only when designers situate
themselves within the context we are engaging, with sincere admiration and respect, and our design
outcomes appropriated both inside and outside the cultural context they are derived from. As designers,
we will invariably face obstacles at some point in our research or design process. I see this phenomenon
as a positive growth. Designers who work specifically with cultural-related content will face some barriers
that are particularly hard to contend with, ones that arise due to unfamiliar contexts and new encounters
connected to another culture. In my mind, our job in these contexts is not to break the barriers but rather to
build windows and possibilities for people from both sides to be able to see and experience aspects of a
culture other than their own.

56

Sorting Things Out: ⾃在⽽然
Rhythms: Finding and applying them
Everyone has a different rhythm and these rhythms are constantly changing due to our own personal
circumstances. Given my work over the past two years, I am of the mind that designers need to find their
own presence and rhythm through sorting and acknowledging their own life experiences. They need to feel
free to extend this into their design actions/design making. My research has a cadence - a rhythm that has
been set by identifying the thin-slicing of time that connects my life experiences and has helped me form
an understanding of design actions/design making. My practice orients itself around the act of sorting. As
a design novice, I have continuously tried to appropriate my uncertainty and intuition and apply this to my
design making. Without having sorted my experiences, I would not have understood, or come to see, how
all the decisions I made before, during, and after my design actions correlate with the thin-slices of my own
lived experience.
At this juncture I see applying and tracking thin-slicing of time as a method that has helped me better
understand the role of intuition in design practice. Through sorting personal experiences, I have come to
understand the rhythm of my intuitive acts in design making. My work incorporates and makes connections
between my eastern cultural heritage and western design practices. This correlation and active integration
of a Chinese philosophical perspective with design is productive. It allows uncertainty and respect towards
other cultures to thrive.
I have identified four primary points that have been useful to disassemble my process of sorting and
that have led me to have a better understanding of intuitive processes in design(ing) (see figure 5.1.1,
figure 5.1.2). First, my background or past experiences have influenced who I am as an individual and a
creative. Second, my field of study and interests plays a role in how I perceive design. Third, my preferred
methods act as a means to ground my work. Fourth, my results or outcomes are framed by the previous
points as a whole to interpret the act of making in design. In this document, each of these points inform a
role in my intuitive responses to design(ing). My transcultural identity and deep interest in the Chinese
philosophical Daoism of Zi Ran are based on my lived experience in four different cultural contexts and my
own cultural heritage. Textiles and intuitive acts in design making is my field of interest. The series of
projects that apply embodied practices of observation, making, and performance were used to explore
discursive and ontological design as methods to ground my acts of design(ing). Personal experiences, field
of interest(s), design method(s), have been considered in relation to one another using thin-slicing of time
as a method of sorting. Doing so I have grasped the uniqueness that life experience offers to designers
and consequently to their designs/design(ing).

57

Figure 5.1.1 Top; Figure 5.1.2 Bottom

58

Conclusion
This thesis document is a piece of cloth that is sewn together with many little blocks that represent
the different parts of me. It covers me and shapes me. It has helped me become who I am today and has
become the driving force of my research in design. In the past two years of research, I have reflected on
my background and the shadows of my past to break through and come to have a better understanding of
ongoing difficulties related to identity and belonging. This document introduced a process of sorting. It
assesses and considers past experiences and current actions and incorporates this with discursive and
ontological design theories made tangible through making. I have merged my interest in cultural contexts
into my studio design practice. As I have done so, I have worked through and considered ways of
appropriately immersing myself in foreign cultures through making and performative embodiment.
This document shares my process of discovering possible approaches for contending with
experiencing uncertainty through a design approach that embraces intuition. Here, experience is more
important than the title of designer. My work acknowledges that as designers, we collaborate and innovate
with the world surrounding us. I see this as a circling motion of fusion and exchange between ourselves
(who we are) and the things surrounding us (things influencing us), that design(ing), becomes a flow of
streams always/invariably connecting with others. This flow communicates and transmits inside the field of
design, and (in an interdisciplinary setting) outwards, to other fields of research. Design that has the ability
of “connect” ensued from the structure sort out of the intuitive actions.
The work described in the First Zi Ran emphasizes the embodied practices of observation of nature.
In the Second Zi Ran work is discussed and connected to elements of discursive design. Here designers
are considered in terms of their capacity to shape a perspective that considers everyday norms connected
to the objects surrounding us (as normal individuals or designers who practices making) and “reason for
being.”68 Discursive design helps us to see the world through a different lens, a lens that allows us to see
the links between different design actions and envisage other possible functions and forms. Intuitive acts of
making are understood as means to reveal identity issues and its relationship to design. Last of all, the
Third Zi Ran describes performative embodiment and identity recognition connected to ontological design
perspectives and a personal reckoning of cultural appropriation. Today, we live in a complex world; a world
experiences transitional changes, “a world where many worlds fit.”69 The plurality in the ever-changing
society allows me as a designer to “realize that design situations always involve encounters between
human and nonhuman actants of all kinds.”70

68

B. Tharp and S. Tharp, “Discursive Design Basics,” 2.

69 Escobar, Designs for the Pluriverse, 52.
70 Escobar, Designs for the Pluriverse, 133.

59

Coming from outside of the design field and having a transcultural identity enables me to offer a
particular perspective. I acknowledge that my work understands design as not only a means for solving
problems but also something closely related to being and becoming. Design(ing) is a lens to look into the
world which we design “and acknowledge our world is acting back on us and designing us.”71 Through a
thoughtful intertwined relationship between the philosophical approaches of design thinking and series of
design interventions designers have the opportunity to gain a better understanding of their surroundings,
and perhaps themselves. Taking this approach, it seems to me, enables the designer the possibility to
cross over cultural barriers, offering up interventions that allow people to see and acknowledge multiple
perspectives and ways of engaging in our world.
Over the past two years I have embodied the practice of making through a series of projects. Taken
together as a whole along with my lived experience, observation, making and performance serve to explain
a process of sorting, through design. Moving forward, I want to apply the sorting method to the design of
textiles. In particular, my intent is to explore, and modify traditional Chinese and Japanese textiles
approaches so that they remain or become understood as increasingly relevant to our ongoing present.
This research ends here. My journey of discovering other approaches for design making, however,
will never stop. I am looking forward to reacting with and responding to our ever-changing society from an
East Asia perspective, to beginning to learn and include Japanese philosophical aspects along with
Chinese ones as I move forward and onto new design endeavors.

71 Willis, “Ontological Designing,” 80.

60

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Appendix
English Breakfast tea samples procedures:
(Takes up to ten hours to complete)
- Four regular size tea bags with 2160 ml of water.
- Sample cloth: seven square cut muslin cloth.
- Pre-boiling the tea bags for thirty minutes in a pot and take out the tea bags.
- After bringing the tea to boil, keep the stove at low heat.
- Pre-wash all the cloth in cold water, and then put them into the pot boil with tea.
- Take out one piece of cloth every thirty minutes.
- And then wash the cloth in cold water, lay flat to let it dry in the shade.
- Turn the cloth over every thirty minutes.
- Repeat the previous steps until all seven pieces are completed.
Tie Guan Yin samples procedures:
(Takes up to seven hours to complete)
- Two packs of Tie Guan Yin with 1080 ml of water.
- Sample cloth: seven square cut muslin cloth.
- Pre-boiling the tea bags for thirty minutes in a pot and take out the tea bags.
- After bringing the tea to boil, keep the stove at low heat.
- Keep the heat at low for thirty minutes.
- Pre-wash all the cloth in cold water, and then put them into the pot boil with tea.
- Take out one piece of cloth after an hour, and wash it in cold water.
- Then lay flat to let it dry in the shade.
- Repeat the previous steps until all seven pieces are completed.

65