Page 6 Planet of the Arts

read about’”’.

Granville Island’ Market
Private Investigator, that’s me.
The G.I. Market P.I. Don’t
ever call me G.I.M.P.I.

So the sends me out. Find
what’s cheap they says, you
know, the good stuff. The case
of the Cheap Eat Treats.

It seems as though everyone
has one of their own. Special
treats I mean. Me, I like going
to Meatland for “deli ends” at
49¢ for 100 grams. Then I
slink over to Stuarts. Some-
times at the end of a tough day
they'll give you a break —
two-for-one specials. I get one
or two whole wheat cheese and
onion buns: at 37¢ each, it’s no
\, raw deal. Stuff the deli ends in
\Sand it’s a sandwich. Lean on
the people at the cheese place
to see if they'll slice you up 100

“’Two men came in with guns in their hands. One
of the guns dug sharply into my ribs and the man
who was holding it said urgently: “Back up, and
make it snappy. This is one of those stick-ups you

Well, all in a days work. ..

Sometimes, yeah sometimes,
I go over to the Juice and Salad
Bar. Steamed vegetables with
sauce — two bucks. Half a
potato and steamed vegeta-
bles is one fifty. Rice with sauce
— your choice of three kinds
is $1.25. Or 75¢ if you’re one
of those dainty eaters.

Then there’s The Market
Grill. Don’t tell me you ain’t
that kind of grill. Hot dogs,
and good, for $1.25 to $2.25.
Fries 75¢. You been lucky at
the racetrack lately, maybe
you'll go for a chicken or
salmon burger ($4.75 — $5.25)
which comes with fries or
caesar salad. If you’re one of
the types that goes in for
breakfast you can get it here
from 9 — 11:30. That’s A.M.,
wise guy.

research: Adam Lossing, Virginia, Naomi

You in hot water? Try the
Stock Market. Good bean-and-
bacon soup — $2.50 for small,
$3.25 for large. A bit stiff, but
tasty.

Duck around the corner for
dessert — The Lazy Gourmet
has half price treats near the
cash register (sometimes) and
damn good carrot cake (al-
ways).

Beyond the Market there’s
still deals. Cheapest beer is at
The Creole Café — lager is
$2.25, dark $2.50, % pint
$1.50. Good food, interesting
specials, soup-and-sandwich
deals. And a decent staff who
won't treat you like two-bit-
chiselers, nickel-and-dime
winos, or art-school scum.

an Grams of something to put in
Yi there too,

7s TT

H}

“YY

4The waiter put the drinks and sandwiches on
the table, went away. The band on the stage at the
* end of the oval floor blared out a long chord and '
2 aslick, grinning m.c. slid out on the stage and put
his lips to a small open mike.

The floor show began. A line of half-naked girls
= ran out under a rain of coloured lights. A hard-
qboued redhead sang a hard-boiled song in a voice
2

that could have been used to split firewood. The
{music softened and a tall high-yaller torch singer '
“3 drooped under an amber light and sang of some-
thing very far away and unhappy, in a voice like |

old yt 4 li Meee ELEY, A\\ IX
bs —- this looks like a better deal than
52 ee A the opera waiting for me back

°
y But that was ‘Frisco. in my car. Hours later it’s all
‘¥/ Here, for entertainment, I \s$ over. My car is empty. The
hang out in places like The 1 opera was grand. Like I say,
Classical Joint (231 Carrall —& surprises.
fy 089.0667) Mostly jazz but still Other nigiMts you can try Lal
lots of variety. You can eat and pea Quena Coffee House (11/1

have coffee (dark coffee), and }@! Commercial Dr. — 251-6626).

you can play chess — no Entertainment is on Friday,

“4 charge. Good place. ‘= oaturday, and Sunday nights.
In the line of duty I get into WB Guesi speakers come and

some not-too-nice places, full ) nae important political

of surprises. My own car, a and international issues.

shiny black Packard with a little wm Phone for schedules.

2@ discreet chromium here and On Sundays you can try the

there, and there’sa guy waiting 4@ Queen Elizabeth Playhouse

for me. Inside my own car. A §B&(649 Cambie 683-2311) (not
lean hawklike face on which to be confused with Pee-Wee’s

“gsome reflected light falls =} Playhouse) for an hour or
without making it distinct. But more of class entertainment.
the gun, that was distinct. I With a babysitting service for

@ figured I better keep walking, ‘the babes.

mix in with the crowd up =
ahead. Before IknowitI’min Go for a mountain-bike ride
the stand-by line-up outside ES with the boys from print-mak- |
the Queen Elizabeth Theatre, ing. Ask Peter, Geoff or Rich

gesting to see Madame But-
terfly. What the hell, a stand-by

Zticket’s only five bucks (I could

dhave got a rush ticket that

j morning for $6.00 at the box
office — 630 Hamilton) and

)
®
z
>

’
You want more excitement?

‘about their week-end excer-
"== cise. Besides, fun like that is

“~

So I went to Value Village
(1820 E. Hastings — 254-4282
or New West-or Victoria and
49th). 1 was in the mood for
clothes anyhow, or maybe
some good second-hand
equipment. Maybe a wig or
something. In my line of
business you need that stuff.

Another place to find deals
on interesting clothes and
artifacts is Land I (320 Cambie,
near Gastown). Quality stuff,
and. fun.

One time the D.A. comes up
tome, along night. He looked
at me then. “Ha, ha, ha,” he
said. “So long sucker. Call me
when you start wearing twenty
dollar shirts. I'll drop around
and hold your coat for you.”

He was right, I did need a
new shirt. I headed for Jas-
mine’s (1913 Yew at 4th). Sure
its second-hand, but it’s swell
and I’lllevel any guy who says
it ain't.

Head down the hill that is
4th Ave., heading east, and
stop in at the Store With No
Name (2177 W. 4th). Maybe it’s
called The Balcony Boutique

“In a narrow and utterly bare room a man in a
dirty white sweater was sitting on the end of a long
table that had clothes scattered on it. He was tall
and had curly brown hair with hard gray colour in
it. He had a big drink in his hand. His face had the
flat glitter of extreme drunkenness. His hair was
damp, his eyes bloodshot. His lips curled and
uncurled in rapid smiles without meaning. He said
thickly: “Scramola, umpchay.”

K. L. Photo

*

for the flight of stairs covered
in sparkles. In fact pretty well
everything is covered in
sparkles, including the owner.
She'll tell you everything
comes from Paris or Italy and
will frequently yell “Napo-
leon!” for no apparent reason.
Napoleon — that’s her cat.
Deals to be found in here if you
are patient, and the entertain-
ment value is extreme.

Even further west on 4th is
Another Store With No Name
(1879 W. 4th, near Burrard), the
home of the Last Hippie on 4th
Ave., This is a little wooden
shack of a place with plastic
flowers sprouting along the
side in the alleyway, and there
are as many clothes in here as
Carl Sagan says there are stars

Still, the man with the long hair @

is very nice and very very
reasonable when it comes to
negotiationg a price. Go to this

pAnna

4,

Y

weed

i
CBO,

place if only for its historic and
cultural significance — this is
how all of Kits used to be.
Other ends of town have
bargains too. Legends (4366
Main Ste., at 27th) has many
clothing, lots of hats, eccentric
items loaded with personality.
It had been a rough case and
I was just lounging around at
Joe’s, guzzling back the café
mochas when I saw them. The
man wore a. purple suit, a
Panama hat over his shiny,
slicked down hair. ‘The girl
wore a green hat and a short
skirt and sheer stockings, four
and a half inch French heels.
She smelled of Midight Narcis-
sus. The man leaned close,
touched her hair. “Listen you
cheap drifter!” she shrilled.
“Keep your paws down see!
‘Tinhorns are dust to me.
Dangle!” I was about to inter-

was still smiling.

— Jad ae

Chandler’ s Pick-
iF

vene when he said something
low and soft in her ear and she
smiled. They crossed the street
and went into Changes (1209 |
Commercial, at William.) A short
while later later they came out
and she was wearing a smart
little fur-trim jacket she hadn't
been wearing before. And sh

Cheap novels. So wh

‘me do with ’em? Cut 1

like postcards. Pers«

the cover of War and P.
really reas
ZA 8

Excerpts in these “cheap notes” were lifted from
up on Noon Street and The Lon;

+
“Twomen came in with guns in their hands. One
of the guns dug sharply into my ribs and the man
who was holding it said urgently: “Back up, and
make it snappy. This is one of those stick-ups you
read about”.

Well, all in a days work...

‘a narrow and utterly bare room a man in a
e sweater was sitting on the end of along

{able that had clothes seat
\ Hi dhad curly brown
a ii ada bigdr

flat glitter of

i

jing m.c. slid out on th
j ‘small open mike.
The floor show began.
n of coloured
a hard-boiles

were lifted from
ick-up on Noon Street and The Lon