research environments simulating gravity might be in use in order for the scientists of that topsy-turvy realm to develop new types of chemicals and drugs. "But what would one of these aliens look like?" a report- ER "But what would one of these aliens look like?" a report- er asks. Dr. Werner Blistermister explains, "Zees crit- tures vould be yust like a blop! Yust a blop, mit many hand-like protrusions mit mitch to ghrrasp votever combs flyink by. Zay vould haf leetle thrusters eggshpelling a harmless gaz mit mitch to manoofer all over dee plaze. Und alzo zay vould have a vay of zeeing in all dirrhec- tions a vunce." Further details as they become available. SEE aa Gaijin fever: This social malaise can strike any Japanese with ferocious speed. The majority of rural Japanese have never dealt with a gaijin before and they're the most susceptible, although even sophisticated city dwellers will become unnerved if the encounter is unexpect- ed. Particularly bad cases of "gaijin fever" range from slack-jawed awe to startled hysteria. Sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it hurts your feelings. There are numerous instances where "gaijin fever" comes into play. The following are only a few examples: You may get on a train and sit down with the seat next to you obviously vacant. Even if the train is crowded, no one may sit there. Rural fishermen who risk their lives everyday out at sea may actually scream when they see you. People may find it impossible to understand you, even if you're using; the proper Japanese word, not because the pronoun- ciation is wrong, but because a Japanese word couldn't be coming out of a gaijin's face. If you get into an argument or, heaven forbid, a fight, the police will assume that you're the guilty party. If you look back at a Japanese looking at you, they'll avert their eyes. If you're ina hurry to catch a train or bus, the ticket seller may stand there stupified as you desperately try to communicate before your train or bus pulls away. In almost any setting away from the cities, you're watched as if in spotlight on center stage. Japanese men delight in trying to get you drunk. The symptoms vary, but you'll soon become accustomed to "gaijin fever", Take it in stride, the only antidote is to remain calm ard smile. Most of all, be yourself and the "fever'' will pass. In memory of Doug Coupland, last year dedicated and successful E.C.C.A.D. Newspaper editor who is an exchange student in Japan. From: "Japan Handbook" J.D. Bisignani ATTENTION!! all losers, Tired of twisted self-introspection? Is it time to get that monkey off your back? Well, I'm Kimmy, and all you snivelling students may write me for advice. Don't be afraid to approach the "Ask Kimmy Box'' with your pathetic appeals. It's just outside the Student Council office, where everyone can see you. If Kimmy can't help YOU, BZIVE UPecese ese ee LOVE & KISSES Kiani] Pai 13 research environments simulating gravity might be in use in order for the scientists of that topsy-turvy realm to develop new types of chemicals and drugs. “But what would one of these aliens look like?" a report- ER “But what would one of these aliens look like?" a report- er asks. Dr. Werner Blistermister explains, "Zees crit- tures vould be yust like a blop! Yust a blop, mit many hand-like protrusions mit mitch to ghrrasp votever combs flyink by. Zay vould haf leetle thrusters eggshpelling a harmless gaz mit mitch to manoofer all over dee plaze. Und alzo zay vould have a vay of zeeing in all dirrhec- tions a vunce." Further details as they become available. Gaijin fever: This social malaise can strike any Japanese with ferocious speed. The majority of rural Japanese have never dealt with a gaijin before and they're the most susceptible, although even sophisticated city dwellers will become unnerved if the encounter is unexpect- ed. Particularly bad cases of "gaijin fever" range from slack-jawed awe to startled hysteria. Sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it hurts your feelings. There are numerous instances where "gaijin fever" comes into play. The following are only a few examples: You may get on a train and sit down with the seat next to you obviously vacant. Even if the train is crowded, no one may sit there, Rural fishermen who risk their lives everyday out at sea may actually scream when they see you. People may find it impossible to understand you, even if you're using the proper Japanese word, not because the pronoun- ciation is wrong, but because a Japanese word couldn't be coming out of a gaijin's face. If you get into an argument or, heaven forbid, a fight, the police will assume that you're the guilty party. If you look back at a Japanese looking at you, they'll avert their eyes. If you're in a hurry to catch a train or bus, the ticket seller may stand there stupified as you desperately try to communicate before your train or bus pulls away. In almost any setting away from the cities, you're watched as if in spotlight on center stage. Japanese men delight in trying to get you drunk. The symptoms vary, but you'll soon become accustomed to "gaijin fever". Take it in stride, the only antidote is to remain calm and smile. Most of all, be yourself and the "fever" will pass. In memory of Doug Coupland, last year dedicated and successful E.C.C.A.D. Newspaper editor who is an exchange student in Japan. From: "Japan Handbook" J.D. Bisignani ATTENTION! ! all losers, Tired of twisted self-introspection? Is it time to get that monkey off your back? Well, I'm Kimmy, and all you snivelling students may write me for advice. Don't be afraid to approach the "Ask Kimmy Box" with your pathetic appeals. It's just outside the Student Council office, where everyone can see you. If Kimmy can't help you, give ups... eae LOVE & KISSES Minna] a 13