~— door. The only color in her skin was where there were pockmarks. She was in the process of eat- hand, he ordered the tightjeaned , Sepultura shirt wearin’ noodle eatin’ bimbo with the whiney voice to stick the fork that she was eating with into the electrical outlet. Although never a fan of action movies, he was quite shocked at the cheesy line that left his lips: " | told you, eating that shit is going to kill you!" He stopped, stunned at what he had just ejaculated. The lights dimmed and came back. Smoke curled up from ears. Hair literally stood on end, just like in the movies. The refrigerator condenser motor kicked in, as if it felt some ‘responsibility for ending the akward silence. By now, the neighbors were almost sure that they would be paying an extra $150 each month for rent. There were two more gunshots, as the door was closed in the hallway, so too was the deal between the three tenants. Jen got out the bleach, a bucket, some rags, and some rubber gloves. Above her, Armand got out some garbage bags and his painting clothes. Neither had expected action so fast, nor so furious. Bob was the man. photographs by Corinn Wyatt YoUr Rac wilL DiE "the stains were the last grudge that the freaks that lived downstairs left behind to curse me!" He said he knew nothing of their current adresses. One final note, although he brings home a case of beer every week, he has- n't brought home many groceries. Til’ next week. oe P.S.- Still no clue of where the bodies are. December 12- Christmas is near, and with the saved money and such, Bob would be able to get Cordelia a ‘great present. Wouldn't a heated toilet seat look nice wrapped up under the tree! He hoped she wore her pink sequined bustier tonight, something about it reminded him of Christmas. She would be wrapped up like a present just waiting to be opened. Bob's vision blurred. Cordelia was in front of him, hot pink pageboy haircut, fake pink eyelashes, and a feather boa draped conspicuously over her peaches; peaches that reminded him of youthful sum- mers in Georgia. Peaches that were just too ample to cusp in one hand. He was hungry. He'd have to invite himself over to her place more often, he needed some variety in his meals. Cashmere, that's it, he want to get her pink cash- mere, and diamonds as well, pink diamonds! Dec. 28.- The Christmas season has been espe- cially "hum-drum", as if by some freak chance, over the past three days the occupants of the building have com- menced grocery shopping. Christmas was rather uneventful. | suggest that this case be closed as there is no tangible evidence that the downstairs occupants haven't simply left town. This leaves the neighbors com- plaints of hearing gunshots near the time of their dissa- pearance as mere coincidence, and highly probable in this neighborhood. Suggest no further intervention at this time. Trailer cold, partner complaining regarding rag- ing hemmaroids and painful gas, no doubt due to the Flashback- October 23 - Bob was tired, he would have slept if he could, but Metallica had made a guest appearance downstairs, and it looked as if they were playing a long set. But Christ if they couldn't turn. down their music, he'd turn it down for them. He didn't like to infringe, but this was the third day in a row that they had been - partying, and dammit, he was tired. He went downstairs and knocked on their door, as he waited for them to answer he wondered why the two other tenants that he knew quite well hadn't snapped. Maybe they were near their break- ing point as well. Maybe they were deaf. Probably were, he figured. The girl downstairs, Jen, often. complained to him that she had been disturbed the night before. He went:down the carpeted stairway, knocked on.the-door, and asked them to politely turn down the music. They replied to the effect of "F#$@ off and die, you gerriatric grease monkey, pessimistic ape-man." Bob lost it. Bob snapped. "Look you troglodytes (of whom there were four crammed into the tiny apartment) You boot wearin’, camo donning, dong floggin' popinjays- you sit here all day cursin’ about how bad your lives are, hackin’ the man, and contributing dick-all! On top of all this, you drugged poor little Hot Pussy, so that-her kitten is a deformed freakazoid mongrel, and you-have the nerve to label me an ape- poor diet and amount of sitting we have encountered man! You snear at me in the halls and you lock the front door when you see me coming home with bags full of gro- over the past two months. Corporal Cadaver signing ceries! I've had it up to here with you guys! You..." One of the not-so-fab four, the one who answered the door, Outer 12-28-76. started to close it. Bob put his boot cladden foot in and grabbed the 20-something year old by the scruff of-his Hawaiian shirt. A white blue and orange garment that was a few days past fresh, well on the road to offensive. " Now listen here- I've had three restless nights to think about this, you punk ass bitches always get on my case because | live a relatively , quote, "normal" , unquote, lifestyle, that you can’t seem to grasp. "SIT DOWN!" He commanded the three other pasty faced residents, as he sprayed the doorman with his spittle. "You are all too high- fallootin’ to say 'hello' to me, and you curse me when | don't donate any money to the lot of you when you pan- handle in your $200 Doc Marten's. " eee "Whoa duuuude..." was all that came out of one of the girls on the couch before he plugged her between the eyes with the .32 pistol he had never envisioned using. She slumped back in her chair, her mouth open, a screaming white noise barreling out of her. | am the one who mows the lawn that you throw up on, and throw your trash on . | am trying to make this a better place to live. | even pick up after Scrunch-oe, unlike your friends, whose pitbulls leave steaming coilers on the fuckin’ lawn! : There was a stirring on the couch. "DON’T MOVE! I'm not done yet!" Bob lashed out with lightning quick reflexes and pistol whipped a lanky fellow with the gun butt " Oowwww, hey man, that hurt,...dude" "BLAM" The lanky kid looked at where his foot had once been. "| have more compassion in one of my legs than you all pos- sess in your whole collective conscience, including her!" Jan.2 - The bones were gone and the freezer was empty! This had surely been an experience. Bob burnt the last bones that day in the fireplace after all the people living in the house gathered for dinner today. They saved the best for last, the fat kids ribs! Chicken would never be the same again. He wished he had saved some for barbecue season, but no such luck. Maybe he would rent out the apartment next April. As if on cue, the girl who had been recently aerated folded forward and fell out of the chair as he pointed to her. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind her that pierced through a poster of Bob Marley. A second girl was sitting crosslegged against the wall that shared the ing a bowl of Mr. Noodles, her mouth agape. While he held No-Foot by the throat with his left Bob was tired, he would have slept if he could, but Metallica had made a guest appearance downstairs, an it looked like they were playing a long set. 3 _-the stains were the last grudge that the freaks that lived downstairs left behind to curse mel” He said he knew nothing of their current adresses. One final note, although he brings home a case of beer every week, he has- n't brought home many groceries. Ti’ next week. PS.- Still no clue of where the bodies are. December 12- Christmas is near, and with the saved money and such, Bob would be able to get Cordelia a ‘great present. Wouldn't a heated toilet seat look nice wrapped up under the tree! He hoped she wore her pink sequined bustier tonight, something about it reminded him of Christmas. She would be wrapped up like a present just waiting to be opened. Bob's vision blurred. Cordelia was in front of him, hot pink pageboy haircut, fake pink ‘eyelashes, and a feather boa draped conspicuously over her peaches; peaches that reminded him of youthful sum- ‘mers in Georgia. Peaches that were just too ample to cusp in one hand. He was hungry. He'd have to invite himself over to her place more often, he needed some variety in his meals. Cashmere, that's it, he want to get her pink cash- mere, and diamonds as well, pink diamonds! Flashback- October 23 - Bob was tired, he would have slept if he could, but Metallica had made a guest appearance downstairs, and it looked as if they were playing a long set. But Christ if they couldn't turn down their he'd turn it down for them. He didn't lke to infringe, but this was the third day in a row that they had been partying, and dammit, he was tired. He went downstairs and knocked on their door, as he waited for them to answer he wondered why the two other tenants that he knew quite well hadn't snapped. Maybe they were near their break- ing point as well. Maybe they were deaf, Probably were, he figured. The girl downstairs, Jen, often complained to him that she had been disturbed the night before. He went down the carpeted stairway, knocked on the door, and asked them to politely turn down the music. They replied to the effect of "F#$@ off and die, you gerriatric grease monkey, pessimistic ape-man." Bob lost it. Bob snapped. "Look you troglodytes (of whom there were four crammed into the tiny apartment) You boot wearin’, camo donning, dong floggin’ popinjays- you sit here all day cursin’ about how bad your lives are, hackin’ the man, and contributing dick-all! On top of all this, you drugged poor little Hot Pussy, so that-her kitten is a deformed freakazoid mongrel, and you have the nerve to label me an ape- man! You snear at me in the halls and you lock the front door when you see me coming home with bags full of gro- ceries! I've had it up to here with you guys! You..." One of the not-so-fab four, the one who answered the door, started to close it. Bob put his boot cladden foot in and grabbed the 20-something year old by the scruff of his Hawaiian shirt. A white blue and orange garment that was a few days past fresh, well on the road to offensive. * Now listen here- I've had three restless nights to think about this, you punk ass bitches always get on my case because | live a relatively , quote, "normal" , unquote, lifestyle, that you can’t seem to grasp. "SIT DOWN!" He ‘commanded the three other pasty faced residents, as he sprayed the doorman with his spittle. "You are all too high- fallootin’ to say ‘hello’ to me, and you curse me when | don’t donate any money to the lot of you when you pan- handle in your $200 Doc Marten’s. * *Whoa duuuude..." was all that came out of one of the girls on the couch before he plugged her between the eyes with the .32 pistol he had never envisioned using. She slumped back in her chair, her mouth open, a screaming white noise barreling out of her. | am the one who mows the lawn that you throw up on, and throw your trash on . | am trying to make this a better place to live. | even pick up after Scrunch-oe, unlike your friends, whose pitbulls leave steaming coilers on the fuckin’ lawn! ‘There was a stirring on the couch. "DON'T MOVE! I'm not done yet!" Bob lashed out with lightning quick reflexes and pistol whipped a lanky fellow with the gun butt " Oowwww, hey man, that hurt,...dude "BLAM" The lanky kid looked at where his foot had once been. *! have more compassion in one of my legs than you all pos- sess in your whole collective conscience, including her!" Asif on cue, the girl who had been recently aerated folded forward and fell out of the cchait as he pointed to her. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind her that pierced through a poster of Bob Marley. A second girl was sitting crosslegged against the wall that shared the door. The only color in her skin was where there were pockmarks. She was in the process of eat- ing a bowl of Mr. Noodles, her mouth agape. While he held No-Foot by the throat with his left Bob was tired, he would have slept if he could, but Metallica had made a guest appearance downstairs, and it looked like they were playing a long set. hand, he ordered the tightjeaned , Sepultura shirt wearin’ noodle eatin’ bimbo with the whiney voice to stick the fork that she was eating with into the electrical outlet. Although never a fan of action movies, he was quite shocked at the cheesy line that left his lips: * | told you, eating that shit is going to kill you!" He stopped, stunned at what he had just ejaculated. The lights dimmed and came back. Smoke curled up from ears. Hair literally stood on end, just like in the movies. The refrigerator condenser motor kicked in, as if it felt some responsibility for ending the akward silence. By now, the neighbors were almost sure that they would be paying an extra $150 each month for rent. There were two more gunshots, as the door was closed in the hallway, so too was the deal between the three tenants. Jen got out the bleach, a bucket, some rags, and some rubber gloves. Above her, Armand got out some garbage bags and his painting clothes. Neither had expected action so fast, nor so furious. Bob was the man. Dec. 28.- The Christmas season has been espe- cially *hum-drum', as if by some freak chance, over the past three days the occupants of the building have com- menced grocery shopping. Christmas was rather uneventful. | suggest that this case be closed as there is no tangible evidence that the downstairs occupants haven't simply left town. This leaves the neighbors com- plaints of hearing gunshots near the time of their dissa~ pearance as mere coincidence, and highly probable in this neighborhood. Suggest no further intervention at this time. Trailer cold, partner complaining regarding rag- ing hemmaroids and painful gas, no doubt due to the poor diet and amount of sitting we have encountered ‘over the past two months. Corporal Cadaver signing out. 12-28-76. Jan.2 - The bones were gone and the freezer was empty! This had surely been an experience. Bob burnt the last bones that day in the fireplace after all the people living in the house gathered for dinner today. They saved the best for last, the fat kids ribs! Chicken would never be the same again. He wished he had saved some for barbecue season, but no such luck. Maybe he would rent out the apartment next April