Jesus is back, and he’s Martha Stewart. How else can her running the universe be explained? Think about it, her empire is huge, and on top of that, Jesus died before he
was forty. Now | know she probably wouldn't appreciate this, but Martha is no spring chicken, she must be pushing sixty by now. My point is that Martha's following must
at least equal, relatively, if not go over Jesus’ little club in sheer numbers. | mean, sure, Jesus walked on water and did some other pretty neat stuff, but have you seen the
miracles Martha can produce with some pinecones, a glue gun, and a commemorative plate? Guy Lafleur has never looked so good. Now if Martha isn’t proof enough of
the Second Coming then | don’t know what is. I’m pretty sure I’ve got it figured out. Her dad must be God.