by T J Anzai I left like a little boy, clinging to a vanishing world once magnificent. Atlantis; sinking. So long my beautiful blanky. Like a wounded race car, sputtering towards the finish line, the departure gates are looming into view. | am not walking so fast. Don’t look back | tell myself. If for just one last time, then surely | will crash and turn to salt. Through the gates. Checkered flag. Finished - over. Podium. Champagne. Until the very end...thank you. Vancouver, so long. But just as Toshiro Mifune carved into the bridge railing at the end of part II of the Samurai trilogy, | must say that SOON | WILL RETURN. And that’s it. That’s leaving for you. Cry a lot, hesitate, doubt yourself, cry some more, then kick yourself in the ass and don’t miss your plane. So now comes velocity, and flight. Westward, chasing the sun into the land of the rising sun - the East. But it’s all an illusion. | must tell you this because I’ve seen it for myself now. Vancouver from up in the clouds: the mountains, the sea, looking flat as a map. Perpendicular roads going left right, up and down, north south, East & West. No, no, no... wait. Here’s the big secret. Are you ready? The world is not flat! Why do flat maps show curved air traffic routes? You’d think that the shortest distance between two points would be a straight line. But on a three dimensional spherical Earth, all lines are curved. And thus the illusion: a flatly projected world-view from which Mercator looks down upon distorted earth, laughing at the believers of the infinite plane. Ang. thus,. the port <-or Vancouver is two days faster by ship from Japan than Los Angeles. And thus | travelled north, north-east, east, south-east, and arrived on the archipelago of Japan. pt.1.Departures - Arrivals The English Teacher So, welcome to Japan! It’s nice and cool inside Air Canada and we've just landed in Osaka. | gather my carry-ons, intake a few more lungfulls of recirculated Vancouver air, and | step off the plane into a furnace. | tell you, | had to fight to keep from running back into the plane. Please, please, let me back in! Whatever you've got left! Just put some air inside this bag and I'll leave you be! : Not to be. My students have been telling me that this year is a very special summer in Japan. Apparently there is this thing called ‘global warming’ that seems to be making summer hotter and hotter with each passing year. And the humidity!! Japanese summer is really something to behold. | highly recommend that you all try it after you graduate and become English teachers so you can pay off your massively out of control student loans. Chasing the sun, | left on a Sunday afternoon and arrived on a Monday afternoon. After narrowly meeting my connecting flight, | reached Tokyo’s Haneda airport at around 7:30 PM. Darkness. Here in Japan, it sets in much earlier. A representative from my school came to meet me upon arrival, and after a few formalities and an ice coffee at Starbucks (yes, they’re everywhere now) we were off to find my apartment. It was probably about 9:30 or 10:00pm that we found the place and after a1o hour flight and the shock of being thrust into a sauna nation | was ready to crash. However... Disaster strikes when you are least prepared or when you are at your weakest and most vulnerable. How one confronts such situations is the true mark of one’s character. My apartment, | will say, was a disaster of jurassic proportions. | chose to break down and cry. Let me tell you about Japanese cockroaches. They come in about three different sizes - s/m/I, ‘they’re aggressive, ugly as hell, and the big ones can fly. Now, there hadn’t been anyone occupying my apartment for over a month and the roaches were having quite the fiesta when | arrived. It didn’t help matters at all that the previous teacher hadn't done a smidgeon of clean up before he departed, and that he had left most of his belongings behind, dirty dishes and all. Off to 7-11 | went to buy a six pack of roach motels. | can’t say enough good things about the quality of Japanese roach motels. They’re highly effective, and the little bastards just can’t resist the sweet smelling bait. So after about four hours of meticulous roach baiting and trapping, organic extermination without the use of pesticides, | was ready to go for an early morning stroll, wander my new surroundings, and have an uncontrollable crying session. 4:30 in the morning. What time do | have to go to work tomorrow? Ahhh, Japan. So, you’re interested in becoming an English teacher in Japan? You say you got a bit of a student loan problem to fix? Well, what can | say. Sure the money's good. At the current exchange rate, it sure beats working two minimum wage jobs and hating life. Why not move somewhere else and hate life there, right? Get out there, travel, and go for the experience. But honestly, right now, | can’t really give you any definites. It has, after all, only been a month. In due time, you will know more about the trials, triumphs and failures of The English Teacher in Japan. For now, | can only say that the roaches are gone, the earthquakes come often, July is humid, the money is good but it costs a lot to live here, and | can’t find a decent vegetarian meal anywhere. | must go now, because email cafes are sssss, but you will hear from me again. It’s now 7:12 in the evening. It is raining in Shinjuku and the sun is long gone, but the light of the neverending city remains, suffocating the stars from my dreams. And tomorrow...working, teaching... I'll wake up in my apartment in Nakayama, Yokohama, Kanagawa. These names. | can’t get over the names of places. Foreign, yet familiar, like long lost relatives. | wake up in my apartment, alone for the first time. Alone again. Take care, students and teachers. Next month: pt.2. Stealth Gaijin. epil: The ring that fit so forgivingly in Canada now fits tightly. My hand swells in the Japanese heat, bracing finger against silver. It’s not the same ring that | wore on a chain for all those years before. That one got left behind. There, everything it sees will be seen differently. This silver reminds me that everything | see now, will be for the first time. at As NOs : photo by TJ Anzai by TJ Anzai I left like a little boy, clinging to a vanis world once magnificent. Atlantis; sinking. So long my beautiful blanky. Like a wounded race car, sputtering towards the finish line, the departure gates are looming into view. | am not walking so fast. Don't look back I tell myself. If for just one last time, then surely I will crash and turn to salt. Through the gates. Checkered flag. Finished - ‘over. Podium. Champagne. Until the very end...thank you. Vancouver, so Jong. But just as Toshiro Mifune carved into the bridge railing at the end of part I! of the Samurai trilogy, I must say that SOON | WILL RETURN. ‘And that's it. That’s leaving for you. Cry a lot, hesitate, doubt yourself, cry some more, then kick yourself in the ass and don’t miss your plane. So now comes velocity, and flight. Westward, chasing the sun into the land of the rising sun - the East. But it’s allan illusion. | must tell you this because I've seen it for myself now. Vancouver from up in the clouds: the mountains, the sea, looking flat as a map. Perpendicular roads going left right, up and down, north south, East & West. No, no, no... wait. Here's the big secret. Are you ready? The world is not flat! Why do flat maps show curved air traffic routes? You'd think that the shortest distance between two points would be a straight line. But on a three dimensional spherical Earth, all lines are curved. And thus the illusion: a flatly projected world-view from — which Mercator looks down upon distorted earth, laughing at the believers of the infinite plane. And thus, the port of Vancouver is two days faster by ship from Japan than Los Angeles. And thus | travelled north, north-east, east, south-east, and arrived on the archipelago of Japan. pt.1.Departures - Arrivals The English Teacher So, welcome to Japan! It’s nice and cool inside Air Canada and we've just landed in Osaka. 1 ‘gather my carry-ons, intake a few more lungfulls Of recirculated Vancouver air, and | step off the plane into a furnace. | tell you, I had to fight to keep from running back into the plane. Please, please, let me back in! Whatever you've got left! Just put some air inside this bag and Ill leave you bet Not to be. ‘My students have been telling me that this year is a very special summer in Japan. Apparently there is this thing called ‘global warming’ that seems to be making summer hotter and hotter with each passing year. And the humidity! Japanese summer is really something to behold. | highly recommend that you all try it after you graduate and become English teachers so you can pay off your massively out of control student loans. Chasing the sun, | left on a Sunday afternoon and arrived on a Monday afternoon. After narrowly meeting my connecting flight, l reached Tokyo’s Haneda airport at around 7:30 PM. Darkness. Here in Japan, it sets in much earlier. ‘A representative from my school came to meet me upon arrival, and after a few formalities and an ice coffee at Starbucks (yes, they're everywhere now) we were off to find my apartment. It was probably about 9:30 or 10:00pm that we found the place and after {10 hour flight and the shock of being thrust into a sauna nation | was ready to crash. However... Disaster strikes when you are least prepared or when you are at your weakest and most vulnerable. How one confronts such situations is the true mark of one’s character. My apartment, | ns. | will say, was a disaster of jurassic propor chose to break down and cry. Let me tell you about Japanese cockroaches. They come in about three different sizes - s/m/l, they're aggressive, ugly as hell, and the big ones can fly. Now, there hadn't been anyone occupying my apartment for over a month and the roaches were having quite the fiesta when | arrived. It didn't help matters at all that the previous teacher hadn’t done a smidgeon of clean up before he departed, and that he had left most of his belongings behind, dirty dishes and all. Off to 7-11 I went to buy a six pack of roach ‘motels. | can’t say enough good things about the quality of Japanese roach motels. They're highly effective, and the little bastards just can't resist the sweet smelling bait. So after about four hours of meticulous roach baiting and trapping, organic extermination without the use of pesticides, | was ready to go for an early morning stroll, wander my new surroundings, and have an uncontrollable crying session. 4:30 in the morning. What time do I have to go to work tomorrow? Ahhh, Japan. So, you're interested in becoming an English teacher in Japan? You say you got a bit of a student loan problem to fix? Well, what can I say. Sure the money's good. At the current exchange rate, it sure beats working two minimum wage jobs and hating life. Why not move somewhere else and hate life there, right? Get out there, travel, and go for the experience. But honestly, right now, | can‘t really give you any definites. It has, after all, only been a month. In due time, you will know more about the trials, triumphs and failures of The English Teacher in Japan. For now, 1 can only say that the roaches are gone, the earthquakes come often, July is humid, the money is good but it costs a lot to live here, and | can't find a decent vegetarian meal anywhere. I must go now, because email cafes are $838, but you will hear from me again. It’s now 7:12 in the evening. It is raining in Shinjuku and the sun is ong gone, but the light of the neverending city remains, suffocating the stars from my dreams. ‘And tomorrow...working, teaching,... Vil wake up in my apartment in Nakayama, Yokohama, Kanagawa. These names. | can't get over the names of places. Foreign, yet familiar, like Jong lost relatives. 1 wake up in my apartment, alone for the first time. Alone again. Take care, students and teachers. Next month: pt-z. Stealth Gaijin. epil: The ring that fit so forgivingly in Canada now fits tightly. My hand swells in the Japanese heat, bracing finger against silver. It’s not the same ring that | wore on a chain for all those years before. That one got left behind. There, everything it sees will be seen differently. This silver reminds me that everything I see now, will be for the first time. photo by TJ Anzal 11)