by Christian Kuras t was a habit left over from childhood. When Marty woke up, he would never open his eyes directly. He would lay still, always a little surprised at the sudden undulating sheets of colour behind his eyes. They flooded into his mind, carrying with them the newly reclaimed awareness of his body. This awareness slow- ly insinuated itself on him. As the membrane of diffuse light blurred and vibrated across his vision, his surroundings began to press on his other senses with their tyrannical limbs. The taste of his own mouth created itself tightly around his tongue, and the gush of traffic outside made itself heard, punctuated by the del- icate ticking of his watch. A reoccurring thought at this time was that of an insect walking across the lens of a microscope, cane legs clicking on glass, carapace amplified into a bright purplish haze. He was on his side, his covers wound into a thick, soft rope above his waist. In keeping with his daily ritual of waking, Marty first opened his left eye, keeping the right one tightly shut. The light was thrown into a row of sharp luminous bands on the wall across from him, where it filtered through the venetian blind. He saw the floor tilted almost vertically in his vision, a week’s worth of clothing spilling and flowing over the polished wooden surface. His desk and bookshelf slanted impossibly on the sharp incline. The desk was blooming with an unruly Marty forced himself to focus on his disjointed vision. Despite the mess in his room, it seemed mass of paper, odd sheets hanging over its edges. A brace of books was balanced precariously under the desk, leaning on one of its legs as if growing along it. Marty closed his left eye, and opened the right. He saw the same floor and furniture, but empty. There were no clothes on the floor, no piles of paper on the desk. The blind was drawn, allowing the weak light of an overcast day obfuscate the room into patches of shadow. Alarm rose up in the pit of his stomach, and Marty snapped himself into a sitting position, forcing both eyes open wildly. The abrupt exposure to light hurt them momentarily, but he shrugged the pain off. From the corner of the square room, where he sat bewildered in his bed, Marty’s right eye perceived a neat and tidy room. In fact, he had intended to clean up the mess. He simply did not remember having done it, specifically. But it was possible. His left eye showed him a different scene. As he’d originally seen upon waking, his room was in disorder, and the light streaming in from outside was intensely yellow. The sun had risen not half and hour before. Marty looked at the floor, where shirts and trousers and socks and underwear tangled on the floor in a wash of light. He shook his head, thinking just how untidy his room could get when he was having a busy week. He hadn’t even noticed it getting this bad. But it was possible. Marty forced himself to focus on his disjointed vision. Despite the mess in his room, it seemed that everything was where it should be, so the prob- lem was with him. Marty slowly got out of bed. Except for the faint feeling of vertigo, which passed as quickly as it came, he felt he could stand and make his way to the kitchen. Marty went through the dim hall to the kitchen. He ran his arms along the walls as he passed through it. The kitchen was warm, and rays of sun illuminated the film of dust on the window, between the two panes of glass. He reached for the handle of the refrigerator door, remembering as he did so that there probably wasn’t any food left. Sure enough, all he found was a half-empty carton of milk, a few pieces of bread and two apples. Sighing, he reached for the milk and got a box of suspiciously coloured Fruit Loops out of the cupboard. He sat on one of the stools at the low table. The joint of his knee made a dull popping noise as he sat. Marty closed his eyes, hoping to clear his head. A field of sunny green ran in his vision. By letting his thoughts slip, Marty found he could mitigate the dis-ori- entation his eyes were causing him. He finished eating and went back to his room to dress, putting on his one remaining clean T-shirt and picking a pair of trousers off the floor. Making sure to lock the door behind him, Marty left the house, blink- ing at the light outside. Despite his attempt at ignoring his odd predicament, he weaved somewhat as he went down to the pavement, turning right. After he’d recovered somewhat from the profoundly jarring effect of having his two perceptions cross and then diverge completely, Marty found he could con- centrate on the left eye, and act in response to what it presented. He walked carefully along the road, the old maple trees along it laden with the colours of autumn. The surface of the pavements was worried and broken with the irregu- lar, deliberate surging of tree roots, forcing their way slowly up from under it. The sun played patches of light around each other as it filtered through the thin- ning branches. With no clear destination, Marty pressed forward through the clear air. Ignoring his right eye, he watched minuscule birds dart between trees, trac- ing impossible arcs and dips above his head. At the end of his road, there was an intersection with two filling stations at opposite corners, a 24-hour grocery on another, and a doughnut shop on the fourth. He decided he needed to sit down, turning to the doughnut shop. It was part of a chain of almost identical shops, and everything in it was finished in a bright ugly yellow. A large mural repre- senting the solar system, but with the planets replaced by doughnuts, filled the Marty allowed his gaze to fall on the objects in his room. He looked at his bookshelf, sparsely arranged with his novels and reference texts from various disciplines. He saw his desk, it’s single drawer open by an inch, and a desk lamp at one side. The closet’s folding door was shut. Everything looked normal. Marty slowly got out of bed. Except for a faint feeling of vertigo, which passed as quickly as it came, he felt he could stand and make his way to the kitchen. ' The hall between the kitchen and his room was submerged in shad- ow. In the kitchen itself, the warped and bubbled linoleum numbed the soles of Marty’s feet with its cold. The mildew-coloured floor was slightly sticky. Putting his hand on the handle of the refrigerator door, he realized he wasn’t hungry. He pulled the door open anyway, just to see if there was anything that might interest him, but despite having done the shopping, he didn’t feel like eating. Sighing, he decided it would probably be better if he ate something. He got out the milk and a box of Fruit Loops, sitting on one of the two stools at the table. Marty closed his eyes, hoping to clear his head. A field of very dark blue ran in his vision. He could barely stomach any food at all, and Marty abandoned his bowl of cereal before he’d finished eating. He decided going for a walk might clear his head, so he went back to his room to dress. A new pair of trousers, shirt, and a woolly sweater on account of the overcast day. Leaving by the front door, which was actually at the side of the small house, Marty made his way a little unsteadily down the walk, and took a left when he reached the sidewalk. Marty almost stumbled, but quickly recovered, pressing his eyes closed momentarily. He’d felt for a moment as if he would bump into himself, but he continued putting one foot in front of the other. He successfully brought his attention to bear on his right eye, and in this fashion he could manage walking about without too much trouble. The air felt sharp and metallic in his throat. The ground was all in floods of mouldering leaves, their dense, pun- gent odor filling his head with its weight. The sun was a blur of pale lumines- cence behind a heavy veil of cloud. Marty decided to head to the small cafe where he often sat and drank tea while reading, or just watched cars pass in the dark. By the time he had spotted his destination, he had a firm grasp on his eyesight, and despite showing a different image, his left eye did not cause him any difficulty. The cafe was among a row of little businesses which made up the strip-mall just down his road. Sandwiched between a dry-cleaner’s and a craft supply store, it was more of a diner, really. It had a generic glass front, and a defective neon sign that said " dy’s." Inside, the walls were decorated in alternating panels of faux-finish wood and turquoise plastic. A collection of tiny square tables crowded the space, their marble-print tops faded almost to a single undefin- able colour by the sun. that everything was where it should be, so the problem was with him. influx: Magazine April 1999 21 e ay Ke by Christian Kuras was a habit eft over from childhood. When Marty woke up, he would never open his ees direct. He would ay sill aays afte suprised atthe sudden ‘undulating sheets of colour behind his ejs. They Nooded into his mind, carying with them the newly reclaimed awareness of his body. This avarenes slow~ iy insinuated suet on him. As the membrane of diffe light blurred and vibrated across his non, hs surroundings bepan to press on his other senses Wid thr yrannical limb, The tate of is own mouth created isl tight around his tongue and the gush of trafic outside made self heard, punctuated bythe de feat ticking of his watch, A reoccurring thought a this time was that of an insect walking across the lens of a microscope, cane legs clicking on glass, carapace smplied ino a bright purplish haze re was on his side, his covers wound into a thick, sft rope above his was. In Keeping with his daily situal of waking, Marty Ses opened his eft ee, keeping the right one tightly shut. The light was thrown into a row of sharp luminous ‘bands on the wall cro fom him, wher i tered through the venetian blind. He saw the lor tited almost vertically in hs sion, a weeks worh of clothing piling and flowing over the polished wooden surface. His desk and bookslf slanted imposbly on the sharp incline. The desk was Blooming with an unruly ‘mass of paper, odd sherts hanging overt edges. A brace of books was balanced precariously under the desk leaning on ope ofits legs a if growing along it "Matty clved his left ext and opened the right. He saw the same oor and furniture, but empty. There were n0 clothes onthe oe, no ples of paper ‘on the desk The bind was drawn, allowing the weak ight ofan overcast day obfuscate the room into patches of shadow. ‘Alarm rose up inthe pt of is stomach, and Marty snapped himself int siting postion, forcing both ejes open willy. The abrupt exposure to light hurt them ‘momentary, but he shrugged the pain of. From the corner of the square room, where he sat bewilered in his bed, Mary's right eye perceived a neat and tidy Marty forced himself to focus on his disjointed vision. Despite the mess in his room, it seemed that everything was where it should be, so ‘room. In fat he had intended to cleanup the moss. He simply didnot remember having done st specifically: Butt was possible is left ee showed him a diferent scene As he'd orginally seen upon waka, is room was in disorder, and the light steaming in fom outside Was intensely selow. The sun had rien not half and hour before. Marty looked atthe Door, Where shirts and touses and socks and underwear tangled on the flor i a ash of ight. He shook his head, thinking just how untidy his oom could get when he was having a busy week. He hada’ even noticed i geting this bad. But twas posible “Mary forced himself ro focus on his disjointed ison. Despite the] messin his room, t seemed that everything was where st shoul be 50 the prob em was with im ‘Marty slowly got out of bed, Except for the fut feling of vertigo, which pased as quickly ast came, he felt he could stand and make his wat] the htchen, “Marty went though the dim hall tothe kitchen. He ran his atm slong the wall ashe passed though it'The kitchen was warm, and rays of sun uminated the fm of dst on the window, between the vo panes of ass. He reached forthe handle ofthe refigerator door, remembering as he di so tha there probably wast any fod left Sure enough, all he found was a alf-empry| carton of mil afew pieces of bread and two apps. Sighing, he reached forthe lk and got a box of suspiciouly coloured Fait Loops out of the cupboard He sat on one ofthe stools atthe low table. The joint of his knee made a dul Popping noise ashe sat "Marty closed his eye, hoping clear his head. field of sunny green ra i his vison. By letting his thought slip, Marty found he could mitigate the dis cotati his eyes were causing him. He finshed eating and went back to his room to dress, putting on his one remaining clean Thiet and picking «pac of rouse off dhe floor. "Making sure to lock the door behind hrs, Mart et dhe house, Blak ng atthe ight outside. Despite his attempt at ignoring his odd predicament he weaved somewhat ashe went down to dhe pavement, turning ght After he'd recovered somewhat from the profoundly aring effect of having bi vo perceptions cross and then diverge completely, Marty found he could con eenuate on the lett ee, and acti response to what it presented. He walked careflly long the road, the od maple tres long it aden wih the colours of umn. The surface ofthe pavements was worried and broken with the ire lac, deliberate surging of tree oot, forcing thei way slowly up fom under The sun played patches of light around each other asi ited through the thin ing branches, ‘With no clear destination, Marty pressed forward through the clear sir tgnorng his ight eye, he watched minuscule birds dart between tes, tac ng impossible ares and dips above his head. At the end of his road, there was a intersection with two filing stations a opposite corners, a 24-hour grocery on another and a doughnut shop on the fourth. He decided he needed to sit down, turning to the doughnut shop. Ic was part ofa chain of almost identical shop, and everything ins was fnthed in a bright uly yellow. A large mural repre. senting the solar system, bu withthe planets replaced by doughnut, filled the Marty allowed his gaze to fall on the objets in his room. He looked at his bookshelf, sparsely arranged with his novels and reference texts from ‘arious disciplines. He saw is desk, i's single drawer open by an inchy and a desk lamp at onesie. Th closets folding door was shut. Everything looked Marty slowly got out of bed. Except fora fain feeling of vertigo, which passed as quichly a eame, he felt he could stand and make bis way to the Kitchen. "The hall beween the kitchen and his room was submerged in shad cow Inthe kitchen itself the warped and bubbled linoleum numbed the sles ff Mary's fet with is cold, The mildew-coloured floor wat slightly sticky Putting is hand onthe handle ofthe refigerator door, he realized he wast hungry. He pulled the door open anyway, just to see ifthere was anything that ‘ight interest him, but despite having done the shopping, he did't fel like ‘ating. Sighing, he decided it would probably be better if he ate something. He goc our the milk and a box of Fruit Loops, sting on one of the two stools ste able, “Marty closed his eyes, hoping to clear his hea. A field of very dark blue ra in hie vison He could barely stomach any foo at all and Marty abandoned bis ‘bowl of cereal before he'd finished eating He decided going fora walk might ‘lear his head, so he went back to hi oom to dress. Anes pa of trousers, Shirt anda woolly sweater on acount of the overcast da. Leaving bythe front door, which wat actualy tthe side ofthe small house, Marty made his way a litle unsteady down the walk and took et when he reached the sidewalk. ‘Marty almost stumbled, but quickly recovered, pressing his eyes closed ‘momentarily Hed fet for a momenta fhe would bump into himself, but the continued puting one fot in font ofthe ater. He succesflly brought his attention to bear on his right eye, and in this fashion he could manage walling about without roo much trouble, The ac et sharp and metalic in is {throat The ground was all in floods of moulering leaves, their dense, pune sent odor filing his head wih its weight. The sun was a blur of ple humines- ‘ence Behind a hey vel of lod. Marty decided t0 head to the smal cafe where he often sat and drank tea while reading, or just watched cars passin the dark, By the time be tha sported his destination, he ad a frm grasp om his eyesight and despite showing a diferent image, his left eye didnot ease hin any dificult. The ‘fe wa among a ow of litle Businesses which made up the srip-mall jst ‘oven his road. Sandwiched between a dy-leancr’s and craft supply store, ityas more ofa dine, ely Thad a generic gas fron and a defective neon Sgn that said" d's Inside, the walls were decorate in alternating panels ‘of fauxfnish wood and turquoise plastic. A collection of tiny square tables ‘crowded the space, thee marble-print tops faded almost 0a single undef tle colour bythe sun influx: Magazine April 1999 the problem was with him. 21