Luckily, | realized the truth. When | was her age my family couldn't even AFFORD a canvas, never mind the car ride to a bloody flower field! Fuck, this child not only had perceived "talent," but rolls of blank canvas at her disposal on which she painted with, I'm sure, professional grade oils and the finest endangered-animal-hair brushes. But the part that REALLY killed me was how she had the opportunity to "brood" and "create" in the privacy of her OWN painting studio, built specially for her, located in the rear of her family's landscaped national park of a back yard. Jesus Christ!

I'm sure if you provided any bright child an endless supply of materials and a big book of inspiration from which to absorb, they'd make some- thing impressive, too. If you had given ME the steel back when | was 10, I'd have produced the goddamn Eiffel Tower. And shit, | wouldn't have mimicked the original like our Picasso "prodigy", I'd have made the fuck- ing thing sideways, supported by one beam, while blindfolded. And it

wouldn't have even been compared to the Eiffel structure, because it would be so INNOVATIVE and AMAZING that they'd even have to create new adjectives just to describe it.

Don't let your dreams of premature fame escape! If you own children or plan to in the future, never overlook their seemingly innocent ways of past- ing felt to paper with unadulterated amounts of white glue: you might have the next Pollock on your hands! Instead, encourage him or her with dif- ferent mediums of expression and showcase their prodigal artwork to gallery dealers, because, in the end, don't we all want to retire comfort- ably in Venice? | know | do!

Christy Nyiri lives in Surrey (‘nuff said).