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“DEAR MATEY ©

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Dear Katy,

Ee pote my father and m Dog were Kidnapped by aliens [this story appears in the enquier ) This month they were | returned + our aod fearing ‘home. We dre So happy to see them +hat we are ding to throw a welcome home party! Is 2 allright to serve qa two laye S Cake or hould | stick toa Single:

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DEAR CONFUSSED

'T SHOULD SUGGEST COOKIES AS

DEAR OLD MAN A COMPROMISE.

J OMMEND A GROUND SWALLOV., 1 WOULD RECO ale

KATTY

IT couL) HAPPEN

T 0 YOU by Ellen Box

Manufacturers of ghetto blasters make the ends of their electrical cords funny sizes so you can’t use a different cord if you lose yours--however, they will send you a new cord free if you write and ask for one!

Anyone who owns a ferret should be sure to invest in a bottle of ferret KLEEN spray (pump spray). For only $9.79 you can “combat all malodors associated with ferrets”, in- cluding odors caused by glandular secretions!

If you find something wrong with your breakfast cereal (ours tasted like cigarette butts) you can write to the com- pany and they will send you enough coupons for a whole new box!

If you take those 29-symptom cold remedies you have your cold for months but not even realize it!

; es If you buy cottage cheese, don’t open it once, refrigerate mn) ————— : S £ it for three days, and try-eating it again because it always

- : . : : | \ 4 ~ EVRA discevers her uskand Is having = fi ao goes bad!

SS SE ara

HOROSCOPES FROM OTHER PLANETS

THUS JS AN ENGLISIL TRANSLATION OF AN INTERCEPTED BROADCAST —. s¥ : ORIGINATING IN THE DOGBAR SYSTEM, IT APPEARS THEIR “ZODIAC” SS

1S MADE UP OF 8 SIGNS, OR “YUNDS”.GACH YUND!LS BASED ON TEE

UNIQUE BEMAVIOURAL CHARACTERISTICS OF THE ORGANISMS ON THEIR WORLD. DOGBARIANS ARE! BELIEVED TO REFLECT THE QUALITIES OF THE ORGANISM OF THE YUND INTO WHICH THEY ARE “FELN" OR BORN. —

WAFF «*DOGBARIANS FELNED UNDER THE YUND OF WAFF ARE SAID TO BE“WERN” VEF+* VEFIANS ARE UNIQUELY “BLO ESPECIALLY WITH WAFF RISING. EDOC~ THIS WORD HAS NO ENGLISH EQUIVALENT. NONE WHATSOEVER.

XURNT-10 BE FELNED UNDER WHE YUND OF XURNT IS TO BE SO INCLINED. TEZ+---HEZIANS SHARE A PECULIAR MELN” A DOMINANT TRALY OF THE HEZ. POOTs: “HAVING OF A LOW CENTRE Of GRAVITY-THIS IS UNIQUELY Poot. KRUN + THIS YUND SYNBOLIZES ‘THE ESSENCE OF"FWAFNESS” A BAD YUND.

JEQ«: TO BE FELNED UNDER JEQ 1S 19 BE “OFTEN RETUALLY CONSUMED’

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(0 PLANET CF THe Aare

“DEAR KATTY,” SQ eo

ee Dear Ket, FX mF 9: _wse 1 sone ar aaa Me 3 a cst oe ee eee he — THE romantic fesst I enconSfered © 4 COFFEE! — nelle barge Myo ay bulshrse. Seas rot f ‘embark my guest Dear kaHy,

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Last ycutany Wether oid tay beg Ge0e Kanapped by altens THhis sloq) appears in the enquier) This month they were returagd te our god Searing theme. We de 50 happy to sé them 4Pat we ace sing fan tirew! al welcame Ramet pact! ep allright to serve a two aye y Ie ie oe whould | stick to a single

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DEAR CONFUSSED

"| SHOULD SUGGEST COOKIES AS

THR aD AECoWMEND A GROUND STALLONE ‘A COMPNOMISE.

KATTY

IT couL) HAPPEN

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new box!

20-symptom et 1s but not even

Vv if : la ‘Gnas Scere ora! ena oye ies wal) a) 7272 HOROSCOPES FROM OTHER PLANETS | Wee Ve ‘VHS JS AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF AN IN PTED BROADCAST =. be S) ORIGINATING IN DGBAR SYSTEM. JT APPEARS MEIN *ZODIAG™ SRK NW TS MADE UP OF 8 SIGNS, OR “yUNDS' CH YUND ILS BASED ON TEE SS ‘ UNIQUE BEMAVIOURAL CHARACTERISTICS OF THE ORGANISMS ON THEIR WORLD.

DOGBARIANS ARE!BELLEVED TO REFLECT THE QUALITIES OF THE ORGANISM + OF THE YUND INIO WHICH THEY ARE “FELN" OR BORN. 2 =

YUND OF WAFF ARE SAID TO BE"“WERN” VEF+++VEFIANS ARE UNIQUELY “ELOL ESPECIALLY WITH WAFE RISING.

EDO ANGLISH RQUEVALENT. NONE WHATS( XURNT~10 BE PELNED UNDER THE YUND OF XURN'T Is ‘10 BI Gee EZ: ULIAN MOLNY A DOMINANT 'TRALT OF THE HEZ. ‘HIS 1S UNIQUELY Poor, FWAFNESS” A BAD YUND. N RLETUALLY CONSUMED”

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