Jacob Bauming

age: I'll be 12 in August

name:

last personal injury: sliced ‘heavy-metal’ hand at the beat-a-thon

how big is you ass:

last good show you saw: Bungle

what are your feelings about leaving ECIAD this year? As much as | thought I’d never hear myself say it, I'll actually miss Emily Carr. Not because of what I’ve learned, just ‘cause | spent a year fucking around and wasting time.

Are you a romantic? I’m an idiot.

Do you have you sights set on anyone? no comment. Describe yourself in one word: geek

Describe yourself in two words: nerd & nerd

if you could do anything on opening night of the grad show, what would you do? I’d stand on the balcony of the PoA office wearing the most heavy-metal of outfits (shirtless, of course, except for the x made out of chains), and then I’d throw myself off and go flying the length of the concourse, because I’d be attached to pullies 4 la Ronnie James Dio. And | think I'd play some Dio to accompany it. And then you could all throw blood oranges at me like Binge.

What's your favourite album at this very moment? Kiss - Dynasty

| hear you've recently been traded to Dynamo Riga. What are your plans for the future? I’ve convinced the team to quit hockey and we've agreed to start the world’s first competetive sewing league.

What's your worst fear? Me and Fabio. Bike Racks. 3 o'clock. Do you like your mom? My mom is tops.

Could you kick your mom’s ass? no comment.

ee

Who are your three most admired people and why? 1) The Fonz - ayyyyyyy..- 2) Evol Kinevol - because he must have been, because when | was seven | drew a picture of him riding his motorcycle, and it said ‘EK’ ‘EK’ all over the place. 3) Ivan the Terrible - (a) because he nad the same birthday as me, (b) because he had his architects design the most majestic and beautiful palace that had ever been created, and upon its completion, had their = J oa eyes seared with a hot poker to ensure that there would never be anything ...

What do you think of the security guards here? | like Jerri and Peter, but the rest creep me out (especially Dr. Intensity).

Do you see yourself working full-time at ECIAD within 7 years? | certainly hope not.

What are your two favourite cars? ‘59 Empala & ‘97 Vovlo 960 sport wagon

Do you like babies? | love ‘em... when do we eat? What's your best quality? I’m a class ‘A’ sucka

What do you want to be when you grow up? uhhh... What's your favourite candy? | buy bags of fucking candy every day. | don’t have a favourite.

Gimme a scenario? _A guy's accosted by two women in balaclavas who beat him senseless with blackjacks. They later end up meeting each other on an airplane.

Who would you have play at your birthday party? Herbie Hancock, Tchaikovski, and my girlfriend [you don’t have a girl- friend] ya well | will come my birthday.

What are you three favourite words when in sequence? Red Metal Flake

| hear you got signed to Motown? | hear | kicked your ass.

If you could make a game of your choice, what would it be? That would of course be Super Panty Raid, a pinball game. I’m gonna make the table this summer.

What's your biggest regret of the ‘95/’96 school year? Not having started a bench-clearing brawl at the last pub night.

Do you see yourself as a lady killer? A lady repellant. What do you do to overcome creative blocks? | kill myself.

Is there a god? You're lookin’ right at him, baby.

Z 4

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ans is

. Jacob Banoring

May-June 1996 / Planet of the Arts 23

name:

jonathan lander

age: quarter of a century

last personal injury: sliced fingernail (lost to a piece of basil)

how big is you ass: primo for my skin-tight leopard skin specials

last good show you saw:

Simpson’s ‘Cape Fear’ episode

what are your feelings about having one year left at Emily Carr? It throws a twist into my plans of becoming a professional student.

Are you a romantic? yes, I’m passionately in love with myself.

Do you have you sights set on anyone? Yeah, | want to get that guy who towed my car last semester.

Describe yourself in one word: geek.

Describe yourself in two words: fascist dictator.

If you could do anything on opening night of the grad show, what would you do?

I'd coordinate a sing-along with the graduating students. We'll crowd around a bonfire built out of Lego in Brad Campbell’s office, and sing a marathon rendition of ‘Koombaya’ for six hours.(Brad would take the solo)

What's your favourite album at this very moment? How The Grinch Stole Christmas - Soundtrack

Do you have good or bad short-term memory? My short-term memory is fine, it’s my short-term memory that’s a problem.

What's your worst fear? When | get my finger bandage removed on Monday, it will reveal a head that will grow and slowly take over my body.

Do you like your mom? | love my mom. She’s my favourite mom.

Could you kick your mom’s ass? When Hell freezes over...

Who are your three most admired people and why? 1) me :

2) myself

3) 1

-Because they’re all so cute.

What do you think of the security guards here? They don’t get paid enough to care.

’ Do you see yourself working full-time at ECIAD within 7 years?

They don’t pay enough.

What are your two favourite cars? Hot Wheels and the General Lee.

Do you like babies? Id like to rent one for a week and find out.

What's your best quality? It’s a tie between arrogance and humility

What do you want to be when you grow up? Elvis.

What's your favourite candy? © Manishevitz Kosher for Passover sesame snaps.

Gimme a scenario.

Setting: Candle-lit dinner for two, pasta, freshly baked focaccia bread, wine, sweet music playing in the background. Place: my inner ear.

Who would you have play at your birthday party? Bootsy [He’d wreck the place],Monk (of course), Lennon, [those’ll be easy], Sonic Youth, and Bruce Spector, my old guitar teacher.

What are you three favourite words when in sequence? All you can eat.

| hear you got signed to Motown? You must be confusing me with Stevie Wonder. [| must be]

If you could make a game of your choice, what would it be? Battle of the room mates’ fridge science experiment.

[what, exactly, does that entail?] Who can create a living, breathing organism, first, within the confines of the fridge.

What's your biggest regret of the ‘95/’96 school year? Not having started a female’s wet t-shirt contest at the last pub night.

Do you see yourself as a lady killer? A class ‘A’ sucka.

What do you do to overcome creative blocks? | search for lint to add to my collection.

Is there a God? You’re lookin’ right at him, baby.

>

name: Jacob Bauming age: 1 be 12 in August

last personal injury: sliced ‘heavy-metal’ hand at the beat-a-thon how big is you ass: big last good show you saw: Bungle ‘what are your feelings about leaving ECIAD this year? As much as, I thought I'd never hear myself say it, actually miss Emily Carr. Not because of what I've learned, just ‘cause I spent a year fucking

around and wasting time.

‘Are you a romantic? I'm an idiot.

Do you have you sights set on anyone? no comment.

Describe yourself in one word: geek

Describe yourself in two words: nerd & nerd

if you could do anything on opening night of the grad show, ‘what would you do? I'd stand on the balcony of the PoA office ‘wearing the most heavy-metal of outfits (shirtless, of course, except for the x made out of chains), and then 'd throw myself off and go, flying the length of the concourse, because I'd be attached to pullies| la Ronnie James Dio. And | think I'd play some Dio to accompany it. ‘And then you could all throw blood oranges at me lke Binge. ‘What's your favourite album at this very moment? Kiss - Dynasty

hear you've recently been traded to Dynamo Riga. What are your plans for the future? I've convinced the team to quit hockey ‘and we've agreed to start the world's first. competetive sewing league.

What's your worst fear? Me and Fabio. Bike Racks. 3 o'clock

Do you like your mom? My moms tops.

Could you kick your mom's ass? no comment.

this 48

Who are your three most admired people and why?

1) The Fonz - ayyyyyy. 2) Evol Kinevol - because he must hhave been, because when | was seven I drew a picture of him riding his motorcycle, and it said ’EK’ ‘EK’ all over the place. 3) Ivan the Terrible - (a) because he hhad the same birthday as me, (b) because he had his architects design the most majestic and beautiful palace that had ever been created, and upon its completion, had their ‘eyes seared with a hot poker to ensure that there would never be anything

‘What do you think of the security guards here?

‘ike jeri and Peter, but the rest creep me out (especially Dr. Intensity).

Do you see yourself working full-time at ECIAD within 7 years? | certainly hope not.

‘What are your two favourite cars? ‘59 Empala & ‘97 Vovlo 960 sport wagon,

Do you like babies? | love ‘em... when do we eat? What's your best quality? I'm a class ‘A’ sucka

What do you want to be when you grow up? uhhh. ‘What's your favourite candy? | buy bags of fucking candy every day. ! don’t have a favourite.

Gimme a scenario? A guy's accosted by two women in balaclavas ‘who beat him senseless with blackjacks, They later end up meeting ‘each other on an airplane.

‘Who would you have play at your birthday party?

Herbie Hancock, Tchaikovski, and my girfriend [you don't have a gil- friend) ya wel | will come my birthday.

What are you three favourite words when in sequence?

Red Metal Flake

I hear you got signed to Motown? | hear | kicked your ass

I you could make a game of your choice, what would it be? ‘That would of course be Super Panty Raid, a pinball game. 'm gonna ‘make the table this summer.

‘What's your biggest regret of the '95/'96 school year? Not having started a bench-clearing brawl at the ast pub night. Do you see yourself as a lady killer? A lady repelant.

‘What do you do to overcome creative blocks? kil mysel.

Is there a god? You'te lookin’ right at him, baby.

and Hhis tone

_) water lander

May-June 1996 / Planet of the Arts 23

name: jonathan lander age: quarter of a century last personal injury:

sliced fingernail (lost to a piece of basil) how big is you ass:

primo for my skn-tight leopard skin specials

last good show you saw:

Simpson’s ‘Cape Fear’ episode

‘what are your feelings about having one year left at Emily Carr? It throws a twist into my plans of becoming a professional student.

Are you a romantl? yes. pasonately a love with yal Do you have you sights st on anyone? eat Iwan to get that guy who towed my car ast semester. Describe youret In one word: geek Describe youre in two words: fest ecto, Ifyou could do anything on opening night of the grad show, what would you do? a coordinate sng ang vith the graduating students, Wel rowd round » bonfire bul out of Lego in Brad Campbels office, and sing aration enditon o'Keombaya' or sb hours (rad woul ake theb) Wha’ your favourite album at this very moment? How The Grinch stle Citas - Soundrack Do you have good or bad short-term memory? ay ahort ern memory i fine, ts my shorter memory tha’ 2 Eee Wha’ your worst fear? Wen | get my finger bandage removed on Monday it wl eveal 2 hen that wl oro and slow take over my Body. Do you le your mom? Hove my rom._ She's myfvourte mor Could you hick your mom’ ss? When el ees ovr Who are your three most admired people and why? tyme 2) met >I “Because thee all so ct What do you tink ofthe security guards here? They doe’ get pid enough to cae Do you se yourself working fulltime at ECIAD within 7 yeas? They dott pay enoonh What are your two favourite cas? Hot Wheels and the General Le, Do you like babies? Talk torent one fora week and find out What’ your best quality? GB. Wate between arrogance and humity What do you want tobe when you grow up? vs What's your favourite candy? Manish Kesher for Pssve sesame saps Gimme a senate Seting:Candleit dinner fr two, pasta, ely bated fcacla read, wine, ect music playing inthe backround, Mace: my inner et. Who would you have play at your birthday party? Boots [He'd wreck the place] Monk (of cours), Lennon, those be tsoyl Soni Youth and Bruce Spector, my ol guitar teacher

Jae Bavaing

What are you three favourite words when in sequence? All you can eat.

hear you got signed to Motown? ‘You must be confusing me with Stevie Wonder. {I must be]

I you could make a game of your choice, what would it be? Battle of the room mates’ fridge science experiment.

what, exactly, does that entail?) Who can create a living, breathing organism, fist, within the confines of the fridge.

‘What's your biggest regret of the ‘95/'96 school year? Not having started a female's wet t-shirt contest at the ast pub night.

Do you see yourself as a lady killer? A class ‘A’ sucka.

‘What do you do to overcome creative blocks? | search for lint to add to my collection.

Is there a God? You're lookin’ right at him, baby.