Holding On & Letting Go: Material, Grief, and Care

This research paper examines the importance and value of matrilineal knowledge and emotional knowledge as foundations for an art practice, as well as artmaking as a means of processing difficult emotions such as grief. The studio research investigates traditional craft practices and explores their reorganization within the realm of painting as a way of visually making order to better understand emotional experience and maternal relationships. This hands-on material research involves many processes including stitching, smocking, weaving, painting, and performance. Through the act of making, the work undergoes many layers of doing and undoing, and relies on tactile repetitions of movements and gestures, as well as an intuitive sense of colour. This multilayered way of working results in three dimensional sculptural paintings which speak to motherhood, memory, grief, and care. Textiles are embodied forms of knowledge that articulate powerful relationships between materiality and nostalgia. Speaking to life’s many transformations, through soft sculpture, painting, textile installation, and performance, studio research becomes a feminist expression of care.