Holding

The impulse at the center of my practice is simple: I am longing for time that stretches out. I do not wish to spend time, buy time, save time, kill time, keep time. I want to inhabit time. This paper is divided into four sections. In Entanglement, I reflect on the capitalist time structures I grew up within, and how they inform my positionality and practice. I chart my encounters with Zenji Dogen and Carlo Rovelli’s writing, whose ideas challenged my assumptions about time, and compelled me to search for time’s expansive layers. In Unravelling, I write about my material practice. It is through embodied observation of changing material processes that I first glimpse time that cannot be contained by the capitalist boundaries of hours and minutes. Here, I examine the elements and methods of a key durational performance – Maintenance in Progress. In Threads, I explore three layers of time – earth time, saeculum time and ritual time – that I have discovered within my practice. In this section, I discuss the film, Laying Ground, which will be screened at my thesis exhibition. Finally, in Weaving, I write about not knowing through a current project, Watering Cracks, and reflect on my expanded relationship with time. I do not dive into detailed examinations of capitalist time in this paper, though I recognize my entanglement with it. I want to experience the qualities of time that arise from the earth’s cycles, from embodied rituals and from the life-spans of my durational works themselves. I do not want to define my work in opposition to commodified, linear time. As I have discovered through my practice, different times exist not in tidy binaries, but as complex layers within which we are enfolded.